January One

Read what my beautiful friend has to say, then come back. Go. I’ll wait.

I’ve been thinking a lot about what Tina wrote and maybe it’s selfish, but the peace I’ve always wanted more than anything is peace of mind. Living with anxiety as long as I have, internal peace always seemed so fleeting. Every year it’s getting better and better as I get older and my life changes and I learn to accept myself and the world around me. Giving up control is a huge part of it – at least for me. Adjusting expectations. And just knowing that it’s okay to fail sometimes.

What’s this got to do with knitting? Just everything. I’ve talked about this before, but I think knitting has taken me far in my quest for peace of mind. When I’m involved in a project, it soothes my monkey mind and carries me away just like a great novel. If I’m anxious, I can pay particular attention to what’s in my hands and it distracts me – count those stitches, pay attention to that pattern – let the anxiety flow through my fingers to the needles and out of my body and my mind. Knitting has allowed me to indulge my perfectionist tendencies, but it’s also humbled me. Learning when a knit is working and not working has taught me patience and when to just give it up already. There’s a reason EZ said to knit through crises – because it WORKS!

So I knit and I find peace and what does that do for the rest of the world? Can one person knitting really bring about world peace? Maybe not. But if I’m centered and balanced and content: AT PEACE, then maybe the way I live my life will somehow rub off on the person annoyed behind me at Macys all pissed off because I have a complicated return. Maybe my inner peace and a conversation about knits will calm an anxious relative waiting at Sloane Kettering. It could be that my daughter will find her own peace at the sound of my needles clicking – mommy’s calm, all is right with the world.

Maybe knitters, one at a time, can bring about world peace. I don’t know, but I wish it for me and for you and for all of us.

Today I turn 51… I mean 39. But Wii Fit thinks I’m 51. (Apparently I suck at the whole balance test thing because my weight and BMI are within normal. I’m skinnier now than I was before I got pregnant. I think there should be some kind of dispensation for the kid under one….)

Today is my birthday and I’m getting old. My reality is that even though I’m more tired than I’ve ever been in my life, I feel young too. Maybe the youngest I’ve felt in a long time.

Age is a very strange bird.

I’ve read lots of things lately about how 2008 was a very up year and a very down year as well. Amazing highs and super lows and the thing of it is – it was possibly the best year of my life. The most fulfilling year. Certainly the hardest. And on this, the first day of the new year, I can’t wait to see what tomorrow brings.

I’m hoping to post on a regular basis this January. It’s a slow month and I feel like I should be able to make the time to get back the blog. It’s important to me and there’s no better place to start than the new year. I’m going to kick things off tomorrow with a fabulous contest with some prizes you’ll only see here! Right now, though, I’m off to play Guitar Hero. I’m telling you, age be damned. I’m just a kid! (And my Wii might be one of the best presents EVER!)

A HAPPY AND HEALTHY NEW YEAR TO YOU AND YOURS FROM ME AND MINE!
THANK YOU FOR READING JANUARY ONE!
L, C

I’m done. Not in the that’s it, throw your hands up, I’ve had enough variety (although I came very, very close) but in the WHEW! We made it! kind of done. Thank god. I might’ve actually lost it but I was too tired, am too tired, to know.

While I had so much work to do, Meli and I got into the habit of having her nap in my lap while I was doing computer work. It was much better than having to run to her every five minutes and I was desperate for large chunks of time to get stuff done. So she slept on the boppy in my lap and whenever she stirred I’d stick a boob in her mouth and she’d happily suck herself back to sleep.

Now, after weeks staring at the screen, I’m tired of being on the computer. But Meli likes lap naps. Really likes nap laps. Right now she’s in my lap and I think she’s been sleeping for close to two hours.

I have to pee.

And I want to get other stuff done. Stuff that involves my using the parts of my body that make up my lap.

Really, though, how can you ever wake a sleeping baby? I don’t care how badly I have to pee.

Actually, I elfed the whole family. We’re all sick now and miserable and tired and it figures because I’ve only got a few packages left to go out and then I’m DONE.

Anyway, I thought this would be fun and distract myself from the misery:

Send your own ElfYourself eCards

I’m in a sharing mood, so I’ve also posted some new Meli pictures after the jump. They’re outtakes from our unsuccessful holiday card shoot. I took a million pictures and wasn’t truly happy with any of them. These aren’t bad though – just not card worthy. Thanks for looking.

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It’s 5:16AM and I’ve been up since about 4. I thought that instead of lying in bed listening to my husband and daughter breathe/snore, I’d get up and do some work. But the printer is LOUD when the house is so quiet and I should really just go back to sleep.

Last night I was up at this time with the baby – she had her first real fever. Not fun. But thank god for Tylenol and she was fever free all day yesterday. Oh and she has two teeth. I have the bite marks to prove it. You can’t see them yet but man are those little suckers sharp!

Is anyone else being inundated with Russian Comment Spam? It seems no matter when I post these days, I get more comments in Russian than anything else. I’m sure it’s because I haven’t updated my Movable Type in like forever but it’s so annoying. They don’t get caught by my spam filter so I have to go in and manually move them to junk. I can’t be the only one? Right?