I adjusted my meds last night and let’s just say, I’m not feeling so good today. Side effects suck – and anything that makes me feel like Tom Cruise might have a point – well, I’m not a happy camper today. NO worries though – all will be right. I’ll either go back to the old dose or shoulder through. But, I have to say, sometimes I’d rather have debilitating anxiety than feel like I drank 101 Red Bulls. And I never drink caffeine. Makes me crazy.

My weekend was nice and hectic and kid-filled, but it seems there was lots more fun to be had out there in blog land. Glad everyone had such a great weekend.

I barely knit on the second sock. Basically, train down Friday, train up yesterday. I’m hoping it’s finished by the next update. Got to have goals.

Oh, and my purchases arrived right before I left on Friday. Honestly, I took it all out of the box and immediately became completely overwhelmed. I tried to spin a little on the spindle – just to see what I was getting myself into – and maybe not such a good idea. I could only find directions for a bottom spindle and I have a top spindle and can you say FRUSTRATION. I think I need a lesson.

I realized something really important last night – this anxiety has been kicking my ass lately – making me question who’s boss. I know, though, that I’m doing the bare minimum to take care of it – and myself – and that’s got to change. I can’t stand it when people complain about their life and DO NOTHING about it. I’m an action kind of girl and I’m about to kick some ASS. Wish me luck.

The plan was to hang with these fabulous chicas, but family stepped in and obligation took over. I’ll still be hanging with some of my faves (the kiddies and the sis), but I’m tired, and to be honest, I’d be just as happy at home. But G’s got his own kind of (j-o-b) obligations this weekend, so he’ll be scarce and I’m lonely, so off I go.

When I come back, a finished pair of socka-pal-2-za socks. At least that’s what I’m hoping. I’m on the foot, so the homestretch is in view.

Have a wonderful weekend everybody! See you on Tuesday!

Go see Claudia’s post on Repetition. I turned the heel on the second Sock Pal Sock last night. Just the foot to go. BOR-ing.

Holey Moley those wheels are expensive! Geez. What have you guys gotten me into?

Cate has a wonderful post on perfection. Remember the google search string that landed someone here: debilitating perfectionism? Yup. That’s me. Made me think of my favorite IMperfection story. When we got married, I got two rings – one’s a plain platinum band that I was married in, the other’s a gorgeous, beyond beautiful platinum band in a flower design punctuated with diamonds and small blue sapphires. I found the model for it while helping my brother-in-law look for rings for my sister, and knew it was the one for me. It looks JUST like my grandmothers platinum and diamond band that I’ve always loved. So I had we had it made and I wore it for a little bit before we were actually married, so I think of it as my pseudo engagement ring. Anyway, it didn’t take me long after I bought it to realize that there was an imperfection in it. One of the stems on a leaf is a bit bent and out of shape. This about KILLED me for a bit and I almost took it back, but then I realized that it was a fantastic symbol for my marriage. That no matter how wonderful and beautiful and precious our relationship is – it’s not and will never be PERFECT.

I left the imperfection in the ring and now, of course, it’s one of the things I love about it. Whenever I’ve misplaced it and fear I’ve lost it (more frequently than I’d like to admit) Georgie always says not to worry – we can get a new one – and my first thought is that it won’t be the same. The new one WON’T have the imperfection that I’ve come to love.

Okay. Off to a fabulous lunch today – hopefully I’ll have more to report tomorrow! Have a great day!

PS – Hope things in London are settled down and it was all nothing serious. I (reluctantly) watched some of Farenheit 911 last night and if even a 1/4 of its true – the US is seriously fucked and I pray that our friends around the world don’t bear the brunt of the repercussions. That’s not to say I don’t pray that WE don’t bear the brunt of it either, but you all know what I mean. The world is a very scary place.

Where do you find yours?

I got a healthy dose yesterday from MamaCate’s Zen entry. I, too, have monkey brain – or gorilla brain – whichever one never gives you a moment’s peace – EVER. I’ve tried the whole stare at the flickering candle meditation route and my brain thinks it’s a license to go absolutely berserk. I need something PHYSICAL. It used to be pottery – throwing pots on a wheel. You MUST concentrate or else it won’t work. Then running. Trying not to die is a sure way to turn off the thoughts in your brain. (I NEED TO DO THIS MORE.) And, of course, my zen of choice these days, knitting. This one is the most successful of my endeavors to be sure. I can get a mindless knit for when I’m feeling okay. I can tackle something more difficult for when I need to concentrate – and always – it’s a physical endeavor that keeps me busy. Idle hands are the devil’s tools. I am THE poster child for this idiom.

I’m one of those white coat anxiety people – you know the ones who get nervous before they go to the doctor because they’re sure it’s bad news (honestly though – when am I NOT anxious?). Not too long ago I was sitting in the GYNs waiting room (never a fun time) and I was knitting. Forty-five minutes later I’m naked in the examining room, still knitting (got to keep warm somehow). When the nurse took my blood pressure, it was the lowest it’s ever been. That good healthy low. She was impressed, and I told her – it’s the knitting. Calms me down. Only Xanax does a better job.

Most important about Cate’s post is that I’ve FINALLY gotten FBS! I have one more freaking repeat to go, but last night was the most enjoyable repeat yet. I finally SEE the pattern. (I know, I’m a little late to the game.) I understand the purpose of each stitch, each YO. I wish I had paid more attention earlier, because it would’ve saved me a lot of time. I barely made a mistake in all ten rows, and when I did, it only took me a couple of stitches to realize it. NO FROGGING ENTIRE ROWS! I’m looking forward to finishing the final repeat today – and hopefully the entire shawl tomorrow. It’s got to be blocked and packed by Sunday night.

Anyway, Cate was much more elegant about it than I was (she doesn’t mention anyone getting naked) so head over there and check out her post.

While there wasn’t any knitting going on this weekend, there were a few moments of inspiration.

We bought my nephew a big box of 1000 LEGO Bricks (apparently you’re not allowed to say LEGOS.) They were so tiny they barely filled the giant lego box they came in. What impressed me about the toys were the colors – they were muted and pleasing and my nephew and I spent a great deal of time getting the colors in just the right order. He insisted the red HAD to be at the top. He used to be all about blue, but lately it’s been red. He built the same, but completely different, red robot about ten times this weekend. LEGO bricks are a good thing. I’m thinking of a cardigan – solid sleeves, solid back, striped LEGO fronts for him. What do you think?

I was also flipping through the Anthropologie catalog. Gotta say – been to the store, get the catalog and I’d be hard pressed to ever actually WEAR anything they sell. I’m a khaki/jeans/t-shirt kind of girl myself. BUT, I do love to look at their sweaters – they have a lot of sweaters that don’t seem like they would be that hard to make. And looky here what I found on p. 19 in the “fall in love again and again” catalog:

Of course, they’re not selling this sweater – they’re selling the frilly ridiculous pink thing (straight out of Rowan by the way) on the mannequin/model standing to his right. I cropped her out. But, let’s look at the sweater on this guy. Is this not PERFECT for the sweater I’ve been wanting to make for my dad? Picture it in a grayish brown tweedy Jo Sharp with a V-Neck. Now my dad’s not so tall and he does have a decent gut – but I think it will work! I especially like the ribbing around the sides. I may have to incorporate that into my Bohemia cardigan. These cables are super easy to find in my cable books for sure – they all look familiar – and I think the middle panel will split into a v-neck quite easily. Inspiration! Yay!

Someone in the apartment upstairs is drilling away like freaking Marathon Man (don’t worry Jen – we WON’T be watching that one) and now my teeth are killing me.

Go! Away with you! Find some inspiration!

I’m makin’ it
I’ve got the chance
I’m takin’ it
No more, no more
Fakin’ it
This time in life
I’m makin’ it (oh-oh-oh)
Makin’ it

Remember this song?! I heard it this morning, and I remembered ALL the words. No lie. (Well, maybe there were a couple…whatever…ALMOST all the words.) I was dancing around while G was getting ready for work. So much fun. Better yet – who remembers the TV show? No? Maybe because it jumped the shark after the opening theme song? It was about a guy in Joisey who works at an ice cream parlor during the day and dances out all night ala Tony Manero and Saturday Night Fever! The series even had it’s own Travolta!

ETA: Makin’ It starred David Naughton as Patricia said – who also starred in her favorite movie: An American Werewolf in London. Am I right?

I TOTALLY remember this show. It was perfect for me because I was nine in 1979 (the whole freaking year – funny how that works out. ) and seven in 1977 when Saturday Night Fever came out. I wasn’t allowed to see SNF (R rating and all) and it just about KILLED me! I was DISCO QUEEN with my baby brother shining the flash light all around my room and lip synching with the Tickle Deodorant bottle as a microphone (tell me you did that too!?!). We used to slip the deodorant bottle out of the plastic case and voila! Instant microphone. My sister and I had THE BEST choreographed dance to Hot Stuff. Ah. Those were the 70s.

Speaking of The Fantasticks – it was, um, slightly LESS than fantastic. I’m thinking it was a really weird interpretation of the show. They set up bleachers on the stage – so we were basically on stage with the actors. There was no orchestra (this we REALLY missed – I mean what’s musical theater without an orchestra!?!) only a piano, a harp and something else. The performances were uneven at best (but they did look like they were having fun and trying) and half the time I didn’t get what was going on in the show. What’s with the old actor and the indian? Completely lost on me. Georgie thought they were a version of Rosencrantz and Guildenstern – which I agreed with, but not so much. You know you’re in bad shape when reading the playbill you find that NOT ONE of the cast members had appeared on Law & Order (in any incarnation.) I mean, c’mon! How can you call yourself an actor if you haven’t been on L&O?

And of course the show ended about ten minutes too late for the train we wanted to catch so we had to wait another forty minutes for the next one. We didn’t leave Stamford until after 11. And here we were bitching about the show and practically the entire cast was in the next car – about ten rows from us. I felt bad. But really, the whole thing had the feel of high school.

The best part though was that G bought a tub of Swedish Fish while he was waiting with me in the hotel lobby near the theater. When we got to the reception, it was clear he needed to ditch the candy – it really didn’t fit in his briefcase and I didn’t have room in my bag (those socks don’t need a lot of space do they? I took the small bag.) Anyway, he tossed the candy.

Or did he? I found out later that he had dumped half the tub into his suit jacket pocket so we could snack on them during the performance! How SMART is my guy? So all night long I was slipping my hand in his pocket for fishies. YUM!

Another real problem was that I have a lot of trouble sitting so close to G in the dark and keeping my hands to myself. But I had to be on my best behavior last night since it was a work thing. It was tough, but I managed to behave (okay – I was a little bad….)

THANK YOU all so much for your yarn suggestions for FBS. I’ve made up my mind again and am eagerly awaiting the yarn delivery. I had them fedex it because I’m desperate to start and have to go to Philly this weekend for family obligations (there’s that F word again!) I won’t be back until Tuesday and I’m not waiting that long to start this thing. I’ve got a least two train rides that can be put to good use. I’ll be back later on with an update – if all works out as planned.

It’s HOT today, so I invited Jen over for some knitting. She’s got no AC and I’ve got plenty to go around. Couldn’t leave her sitting at home sweating on her wool. I’ve got my new favorite treat to share too!

Nothing else new to report. I did more on the second sock and it’s progressing nicely – I’m about to start the heel and the stripes are still matching up to sock no. 1. Today I SWEAR I am casting on the first sleeve of short rows if it KILLS me! I want to get back to this sweater!

Wendy has declared this the Summer of Lace, but I think this is the summer of the knitblogger! I’ve already heard from a few fun gals that may be popping in for a visit! YAY! I’m particularly happy about the knitorious one, since she lives so far out of my way. (CA may be farther, but I generally get there once a year. Wisconsin? Not so much!) Fun times in the BIG CITY! And my little sis is doing an internship in Baltimore so look for me (and the other sis AND all of the kids) sometime maybe in July!

Katy had a lovely spa day yesterday which reminded me of a conversation I had with my sister this last visit. In the past year or so I’ve put on about 15-20 pounds. I don’t look awful, but I don’t feel great, and if I lost even ten pounds I’d be a whole lot happier. We, my sister and I, have decided that the reason I haven’t put on 30 or 40 or 50 pounds is because I visit Spa Chez Crazie at least once a month. What? You’ve never heard of Spa Chez Crazie? Their diet plan is WONDERFUL! You run around like a maniac holding a sixteen pound sleeping baby while two toddlers jump on you like you’re a trampoline. They feed you pretty much nothing – but only because they’re so busy they forget! You get like no sleep because you stay up too late at night reading about knitting while the chillens are asleep and then they scare the bejeezus out of you by throwing open your bedroom door at 3AM – because they couldn’t find you when they opened their eyes! You were there when they fell asleep! Or they come in at 7AM and wake you saying downstairs, downstairs, downstairs until your ears bleed. Throw in an inevitable bout of the runs – and you’ve got Spa Chez Crazie!

I always get the deluxe package. I come home bruised, battered, exhausted, an ounce or two lighter and LOVED!