Like L-O-V-E.
I’ve been accused of loving everything – actually becoming obsessed over everything – and it didn’t feel very loving when it was said – but I’m here to tell you that it’s just not true. I can hate blindly and deeply along with the rest of you.
To prove it, I’m giving you my very own Stephen Colbert ON NOTICE list that I originally saw over at Julia’s. I don’t think my post will match the brilliance of hers (and by the way, she stole all the things I hate) but I’m going to give it a go.
People who let their dogs off leash
See here. There are places where you are allowed to have your dog off a leash. Go there. I could give two shits that your dog is so well trained you taught him to shit on cue, keep him on a leash. Oh and my god there’s a special place in hell for those of you who HAVE the leash, in hand, but don’t put it on the dog. Poor little doggies. It must be just awful to live with you.
Slowpokes in the left lane
(Not to be confused with Snakes on a Plane. Those are okay.) PASS on the left. PASS. Not PASS OUT. Move the fuck over.
Islamojewchristianhindufascists
Orginally I had islamojewchristianhindubuddhistfascists but G said that was taking it a bit far. I mean, who ever heard of a buddhist fascist? (Richard Gere doesn’t count.) Also it didn’t fit. Here at January One, we’re all about equal opportunity hatred. I don’t care who you are and what god you might happen to subscribe to – if you kill, maim, disparage, torture, discriminate against, or do anything other than love and respect those that do not believe what you believe IN THE NAME OF YOUR GOD, then you don’t deserve a place on this fine planet. Nuff said.
Party Poopers
You know who these people are. They have something to say about everything and more likely than not it’s negative. You know what? My life isn’t so great all the time, but I CAN CHOOSE not to dwell on the negative. Or at least try not too. It’s going to rain (when the sun’s up in the sky.) You’re doing it wrong (my way or the highway.) She’s happy all the time (walk a minute in my shoes.) GET OVER YOURSELF. If you don’t have anything nice to say, then find another Party Pooper and go to it. There is so much negativity in this world why perpetrate it? And THERE IS SO MUCH DIVERSITY it’s paralyzing sometimes. SO IF YOU DON’T LIKE WHAT I/WE/THEM ARE DOING – GO FIND SOMETHING ELSE!!!
The smell of your cooking
Dude. It might be your favorite dish in the whole freaking world and your grandmother’s secret recipe from the old country and I’m happy for you that the recipe survived three wars, two marriages and a boat ride across the Atlantic BUT I DON’T WANT TO SMELL IT IN MY BEDROOM. Please turn the fan on in your kitchen. That’s why you have it.
Humidity
I’m rendered speechless by the hate.
Entitlement whores
Ah. One of my favorites. I should be able to drive any car/truck I want regardless of its damaging effects on the enviroment and the safety of others because THIS IS AMERICA GODDAMIT! My kid should be able to push your kid around in the sandbox without repercussions because kids will be kids and THIS IS A FREE COUNTRY GODDAMIT! My problems are the most important problems in the world and must be attended to this instant because THAT’S WHAT DEMOCRACY STANDS FOR! I want it NOW. I don’t want to wait. I don’t want to work for it. I WANT IT THE WAY I WANT IT BECAUSE THAT IS MY RIGHT UNDER THE GOOD OL RED WHITE AND BLUE. What happened to this fine country? I’m all for individual freedoms and rights and the pursuit of happiness but we all still have to live together. Whether we like it or not, sometimes that means doing things for the greater good. We’re not all perfect, but we can try a helluva lot harder to RESPECT. R-E-S-P-E-C-T. Find out what it means to me.
Pain
Emotional pain. Mental pain. Physical pain. Psychic pain. Pains in the ass. I’m against it all. But especially the pain that my love suffers through every single day. That pain I hate more than anything.
Whew! That felt good! I encourage you all to try it. Thanks person who was so judgemental towards me! I appreciate it!
Yesterday I spent all day fixing up things around here. If you’ll take a moment to notice – I cleaned up the sidebar. There is now a drop down hierarchical topic list for better navigation, as well as a search bar. I hope it makes your reading easier and more efficient. Also, I moved all of the Spin Out information over to its new home: SPIN-OUT.ORG! Getting things ready a bit early for Spin Out 2007. I had a bit of trouble though and accidentally erased the blog for Crossed In Translation. Eventually I will get it all back up – it’s been very very slow for awhile anyway, so I’m not going to kill myself, but BE CAREFUL. Back up your blogs and my god check like eighty times before you hit that delete button.
My back is feeling better – thanks for all the suggestions. I had a really weird episode with a chiro once (had nothing to do with back cracking and everything to do with being half naked in an exam room and being seriously creeped out) so I won’t be going back anytime soon. I’m sure you understand. Anyway, I rested it good yesterday (read: no knitting or spinning) and that seemed to work for me. The other night I did cast on for my BW top down sweater – which meant CROCHET. My god that provisional cast on is fiddly. But I did it and then started the short rows for the shoulders but didn’t like the way I was doing it on the purl side so I ripped and I have yet to go back. I did do some work on my STR Knee High number 2 – I’m past the ribbing so it’s SMOOTH sailing from here on out. Maybe some plying on tap for today. We’ll see.
Have a FANTASTIC DAY!
L, C