Eye Candy Baby! v.2

August 8, 2008 By

We’re kind of having a cranky day here at J-One – both baby and mama. So I thought I’d brighten my mood with some new pics – taken yesterday:








I bought a new lens the other day and had to try it out. Like I need an excuse to take photographs of my daughter. As always, thank you for indulging me!

There’s lots going on this weekend. I’m working first thing tomorrow morning and then Vicki and her girls arrive for the night. Then it’s a mother/daughter extravaganza with Vicki and Terry on Sunday, followed up by Vicki and me and our girls heading out to Ann‘s for some serious fun. I can’t wait.

Have a great weekend everyone!

Filed Under: Baby? OH BABY!

Poopity Poop Poop

August 6, 2008 By

I’ve discovered the secret of successful blogging: If you talk about poop – people come out of the woodwork. Seriously.

Thank you all for sharing your remedies and experiences. I had a good laugh. We did get poop. And then we watched for poop again. And then we got poop. I’m thinking this is how things go with a five month old. (Almost! Next week! Can you STAND it?)

Meli was very accommodating, as always, and didn’t poop at the doctor’s office. She didn’t leave the poop for her aunt either. She pooped very unassumingly at home, with her mama by her side, in the afternoon before her daddy and mommy left on their first date since she’s been born.

I heard the poop coming and went to change her diaper. When I opened it, I was surprised at how little poop there was, considering how long I had been waiting. Ha ha ha. Kids love to play tricks! It only SEEMED like a little bit of poop because the poop princess wasn’t done. Nope. As I was cleaning her up she started pooping again. And again. And again. Just when I thought she might be done she just kept on pooping. It got so I was switching out diapers under her so she could fill them up again! It was all actually quite efficient and no outfits were ruined.

We’ve since switched to the next size diaper. I’m expecting more poop at any time now.

Our date was WONDERFUL! We left the baby with my sister-in-law and things were good – no tears – that includes the baby and ME. Although I did make the rookie mistake of calling home once we got to the stadium. Yup. Meli was screaming in the background. But Aunt Katina is a seasoned pro so she was soon texting me that Meli had a bit of a bottle and had fallen asleep.

The concert was INCREDIBLE. (Scroll down to July 31.) Possibly the best we’ve ever seen and it certainly made up for the crap concert we saw last November. The joy lasted over 3 hours and I think I may have taken a cat nap somewhere in the middle. Because of a bad accident on the turnpike right at the exit for the stadium, the concert started over an hour late and didn’t end until close to 1AM. I can’t thank my sister-in-law enough for sticking it out. We needed that night out and MAN did we get our money’s worth!

Of course the baby was up really early the next morning and no matter how much we nursed, she wouldn’t go back to sleep. Which is totally unlike her. Until she started to poop AGAIN. I can’t tell you how fast I jumped out of bed to change her. I was so freaking exhausted too. Thankfully as soon as she was done we climbed back into bed and slept for another couple hours. I’m still recovering.

Tonight we’re trying the babysitting thing again. My sister’s coming over so we can go out to dinner to one of our favorite restaurants. We haven’t been there since before I got pregnant so it’s been awhile. I can’t wait. I’m going to have a glass of wine and good steak and stare at my sexy husband across the table. Did I mention? It’s our anniversary today. Seven years. Although that number feels so bogus because we’ve been living together for SEVENTEEN years. And that first August 6, the original, the best in many respects, well, that was EIGHTEEN years ago. I can’t believe it. He’s still my best friend. Still the love of my life. Add to that the father of my daughter and I’m just the luckiest girl alive.


May 2008
The courthouse in VT where we got married.
Only this time we took the baby with us.

Filed Under: Life

Poop Watch 2008

July 30, 2008 By

For those of you who hated me talking about vomit while I was pregnant, you might want to skip this post. It’s about poop.

My baby, exclusively breast fed (which I say with great pride, although I feel guilty when I say it. I know plenty of women who tried desperately to breast feed and did everything right and it just didn’t work out. There before the grace of the mammary gods go I.), used to poop at least once, sometimes twice at every feeding. Once her digestive system began to mature she moved to a once a day kind of poopy girl. Then, every other day. Every other day caused me some stress because I never knew when that poop was coming and it wasn’t really a poop it was more like a LAKE of poop. I didn’t want to dress her in one of her super cute outfits if I knew the poop was coming. You know what I mean? Although I’ve been VERY successful in getting poop out of clothes. (My secret: rinse out RIGHT away and then spray with Zout. Wash whenever.)

So now it’s been like THREE days. NO POOP. Plenty of pee and absolutely disgusting farts (what am I eating?!?! I don’t fart like that!) and I’m on edge every time I hear some rumblings down there. Just poop already baby girl! Mommy can’t take the stress! (I know that it’s perfectly normal for breast fed babies to go awhile without poop. She’s peeing fine and is in her usual great mood, so I’m not worried about her health. Just that I’m going to drown in all the poop when it finally comes.)

I know the poop’s coming though because today I have to take her into the dr for some shots and you just know that she’ll poop all over the doctor’s office. For sure.

I bought a new pump too and I’ve been trying to pump because Meli’s daddy and I have a VERY special date Thursday night.

There’s so much to talk about – I started yet another new project, but this one’s going to stick. There was too much prep involved for it not to work. And I worked my first job since Meli’s been born and everything was good, sort of, but it’s done and I’m glad to have that under my belt. And we were gone for eight nights and I’ve never been so happy to sleep in my own bed. No matter how many people are sleeping in it.

Missed you all. Be back soon. Pray for poop.

Filed Under: Baby? OH BABY!, Life

Crazed and Confused

July 18, 2008 By

Hey all! I didn’t mean to go a week without posting, but that’s life. This week has been a doozy. Monday I blew out a tire just as I was entering the Lincoln Tunnel (on the NJ side.) I guess you could say I was lucky because I was one of five cars to lose at least one tire (thank god I didn’t lose TWO like the people in front of me who had to wait for a tow truck) and GREG, Port Authority Worker Extraordinaire was on a roll changing tires. He changed mine lickety split, wouldn’t take a tip, and MAN was he easy on the eyes!!! (Looked a bit like G actually – just my type!) So skilled was Greg that the baby didn’t even wake up.

Tuesday I did a last minute photo shoot for a 2 week old baby girl. I can’t even remember Meli that new anymore. Isn’t that so sad? Then I went and had my hair cut and colored. It was desperately needed as I hadn’t had it colored since about two weeks before Meli was born. Whew! G was on and he did GREAT! Sent me a picture of the baby sleeping away while I was halfway through my appointment.

First thing Wednesday we had Meli’s four month check up. For those keeping score, she was 13.8 lbs and 24.75 inches. I thought it was pretty funny that she was 10.8 at 2 months, 12 at 3 months and 13.8 at 4 months. Guess she’s a 1.5 lb a month kind of girl! The doctor said she’s perfect. Like we didn’t know that. 😉 Then we went and sat at the car place. Needed a new tire after Monday.

Thursday we had lunch with some out of town friends in the city and I also made up the appointment I missed on Monday because of the tire.

MAN am I tired! I’ve been doing badly with the sleep thing too. Meli is generally out for the night by around 10PM and then she sleeps for about six hours. If I was smart, I’d be going to sleep then too, but lately I’ve been reading a book I read about on Terry’s blog: The Devil in the White City. I’m really liking the book which is weird for me because I never read non-fiction. I’m really a fiction kind of girl, but this book has really pulled me in. It’s about the World’s Fair in Chicago and what went into building it, the city at the time, and the parallel lives of the architects of the Fair and a serial killer on the loose in Chi-town. Anyway, it’s keeping me up at night. I nurse Meli to sleep and then I read. It’s great fun but I’m exhausted.

And in between all of these things I knit what felt like eighty million swatches for (yet another!) new project. FINALLY I’ve settled on a yarn and now I just have to wait for the colorway I want to arrive. I’m SO super excited about this project – it has everything I’ve grown to love about knitting in it, and I just want to start NOW. I’m proud that I’ve been diligent, though, in making sure everything is just right. I hope to talk about it soon.

It probably won’t be another week until I post again. We’re going on a bit of a vacation tomorrow until mid-week and then I’m at my sister’s through the weekend. God I wish I had that yarn! Have a wonderful weekend!

Filed Under: Life

The Greatest Sound EVER!

July 10, 2008 By

Tonight I heard the greatest sound I may have possibly ever heard. Take the most fantastic ’78 Darkness Tour Bruce and mix it together with Georgie’s voice on the telephone telling me he loves me and you have the sound of my daughter laughing.


The Greatest Sound In the Whole Wide World from January One on Vimeo.

We were at Fatburger in Jersey City, NJ. G was using the rest room and I was mimicking this new sound Meli’s been making. It’s kind of a roar type thing – like she’s trying to be a fierce dinosaur or a lion or something. She does this funny thing with her tongue when she’s doing it. So I was doing it back to her and all of a sudden she started to laugh! I was totally startled at first. Did I really hear it? I’ve been waiting and waiting for a real and true laugh – ever since she started making sounds. I roared at her again and she just erupted in giggles. It was for real for real.

Georgie came back to our table and I was able to get Meli to laugh again and again. Then Lovely Day came on the jukebox and I literally burst into tears. I could barely contain myself. I didn’t know it at the time, but Georgie ordered it up for us before he went to the bathroom. Lovely Day indeed.

Filed Under: Baby? OH BABY!

Up in arms!

July 8, 2008 By

Maybe Mommy’s right about this tummy time gig!

Maybe it’s not so bad after all!



Look at my girl go! She’s been rolling over as well. From her belly to her back although the other day I thought she might go from her back to her front. Of course, tummy time still ends in tears, but it takes a lot longer to get there.

She’s learning every day – it’s just so wonderful to watch! I’ve been trying to do some tummy time every morning. I take off her diaper and let her go free for a spell – you know – air out and stuff. She’s definitely slowed down the poops – way down – which makes me a bit nervous always waiting for the next big poop, but so far we’ve been okay. I’d just hate to put her in one of her super cute little outfits and have her blow out in it. She’s sleeping great at night still, even if she’s stopped napping the last couple of days. She falls asleep but wakes up so easy. Although today she’s going long. She still gets up once or twice a night, but now that I’ve mastered nursing on my side, I just pop in the boob and we go right back to sleep. I don’t turn the light on or sit up or watch the clock so it’s almost like I never wake up. And yes. Meli is currently sleeping with us. In our bed. (This little revelation is NOT UP FOR DISCUSSION. We’re doing what’s right for us as I’m sure all of you wonderful parents out there are doing what’s right for your family. I appreciate your opinions, but don’t really want them on this particular topic. The opinions of the grandparents are enough, thank you very much! 😉 )

Her visit with her cousins was chock full of excitement! My sister and I were quite ambitious and managed to hit the beach one day, the State Fair one night, lots of pool time, fireworks and even breakfast out and a shopping trip. Craziness! Their time with us just flew by and we miss them lots. Although we’ll be seeing them soon enough.

Thank you all so much for your great comments the last few posts. I’m so glad to hear from each and every one of you and I’m thrilled about the knitblog discussion. I’ve been visiting new to me blogs and am heartened by the community once again. Knitting should make an appearance here soon – I’ve been knitting – although my sister’s visit put my current project on pause. It’s a great pattern though and one I can’t wait to show off! Super cute!

I’ll end this post with another picture of Meli – this is what she has to say to me when I tell her listen to your mother! Tummy time RULES!

Filed Under: Baby? OH BABY!

One Year

July 6, 2008 By

One year ago today I asked you all for some good wishes. I didn’t tell you why – I couldn’t. I wasn’t ready. I had to do this on my own. Well, not entirely on my own, but mostly on my own.

Last year, on this day, two embryos were thawed and transfered into my uterus.

To say it was difficult getting to that day – getting successfully THROUGH that day – is a tremendous understatement. It’s only now, in hindsight, that I realize how depressed and sometimes desperate I was in my struggle to get pregnant. And most of it was mental and emotional. The physical issues preventing us from getting pregnant on our own were relatively easily fixed by IVF. I think I always knew that once we did the procedure, we’d get pregnant so maybe that’s why I panicked so badly 3.5 years ago. We panicked. It’s true, we panicked together. Neither one of us was ready at that moment, but I’ve always felt responsible.

Afterward, I kept myself busy. Told myself it was the right thing to do. I started this blog. Tried to escape how badly I felt.

I once had a dream about those frozen embryos. A letter came to me in the mail. With a picture of an embryo attached to it. “When are you going to come claim your children?” The letter seemed to scream at me. It gave an update on the “kids” like you’d get from one of those orphan children organizations. “Here is your frozen embryo. It’s doing well, but it needs you.” This particular embryo was named Ida. The doctor from the clinic had sent it.

Already I was a terrible mother.

For months (years?) I walked around ready to burst into tears, but at the time I’m not sure I would’ve completely connected it to the lack of a baby. Guilt is an awful lot to bear.

When I finally admitted to myself that I wanted a baby more than anything, it was like a weight had been lifted from my shoulders. I set a course of action – which for me meant lots of psychiatric help – whether or not it was truly warranted – and I built myself a support system that wouldn’t allow me to fail.

I say I I I, but it was always we. Georgie was and always has been and continues to be my greatest support. While it was always our decision, together, to have a child, it was still me who physically and mentally had to be the most ready.

That day last year was bright and sunny and I was scared to death but I was also very excited. There was no turning back. My own personal independence day. In my heart I know that July 6, 2007 was one of my greatest triumphs ever and I can’t believe it’s been a year. What a wonderful, awesome, gorgeous, lovely year.


July 6, 2008 from January One on Vimeo.

Filed Under: Baby? OH BABY!, Life

Family

July 4, 2008 By

Happy 4th! Happy Friday!

Filed Under: Life

Follow Up

July 2, 2008 By

I should so be sleeping – firstly I’m a new mom and I should always be sleeping when my baby is sleeping. Secondly, we spent the day at the beach and we’re all exhausted. But I feel like I need to get this post out and late at night might be my only time to do it.

To start, I want to thank everyone that left such thought provoking and generous comments. I promise I wasn’t trying to be provocative, I was just elaborating on an off hand comment I wrote the other day. I’ve read all your comments and have taken them to heart. Here’s what I’m thinking:

EVOLUTION: I think you’re absolutely right – blogs evolve. They have never and probably will never be any kind of static platform. Just as we evolve as humans (we hope), how we communicate will most likely evolve. I used words like suffer and death and I think they are appropriate in all kinds of evolution. Things change – something gives, something dies. I’m beginning to think that my lamentations on knitblogs, per se, has a lot more to do with me and my life than the actual state of knitblogging. My life has changed so much over the past year – immeasurably so – that it’s only natural that I’d want some things to stay the same. My blog changed, and it seems everyone else’s changed too and I miss how things were. I guess I’m still grieving for the blogger I once was; I was always very proud to be carry the label knitblogger, then someone called me a mommy blog the other day and honestly I cringed. I’m not ready to change my moniker. I’ve got almost 300 feeds on my bloglines list and maybe 50 are something other than knitting blogs. I suffered from infertility, yet I have maybe one or two infertility blogs on my list – and that’s because they were both knitters. I have a couple mommy-ish blogs – but really they’re about products – not people. When I found knitting blogs I found my home. Now I sort of feel adrift at sea. Melodramatic, perhaps, but it’s how I feel. And I fully believe you should feel what you feel.

RAVELRY, et al: I’m (one of) the biggest Ravelry hypocrites out there. I have no problem browsing for patterns or checking out what yarns people have used for a particular pattern for WAY too long, but I haven’t updated my projects on there after the my first initial posts. So I’m using the database, but not contributing too it. Honestly, the minute I heard about Ravelry I took the position of Chicken Little. And when I heard there would be forums? Ugh. I’ve spent my share of Internet time on forums and honestly I’ve seen nothing good come of it. In fact, I’ve seen a lot of ugliness. But there’s no denying that change is good and welcome and inevitable. I’ve benefited from Ravelry just like the next knitter or crocheter or spinner. I just can’t be a contributer – it’s not for me. Same goes with Flickr. I never had a Flickr account until I started my Ravelry account and that’s not for me either. Photography is a HUGE part of my life, but it’s also a job for me and something just doesn’t feel right about my pictures on Flickr. I’m sure this is an ignorant bias on my part that someone will surely point out, but again. It’s not for me. Same thing with a lot of these other internet tools. The fact is I’m a blogger. It suits me very well. I love to write and I love to take the pictures I need to take and I like having the control to do what I want with my words and photographs. The fact that I have an audience makes it all that much better, but I’ve realized these last few months that I’d be here regardless.

The bottom line is I’ve allowed myself tremendous growth in so many areas of my life, that now I’m going to feel free to let my blog grow. From now on I’m going to disavow any and all labels – I’m no longer a knit blogger or a mommy blogger or a photo blog or an infertility blog. This blog is me. All the parts of me. For better or worse.

Thank you all, again, as always, for coming along for the ride.

Filed Under: blogging stuff, Life

Knitblogs

June 29, 2008 By

Okay – so maybe I exaggerate. And maybe the discussion of knitblogs being dead only occurs between Ann and I on a semi regular basis. And sure, things do slow down in the summer.

BUT, and this is MY OPINION (although one that is probably shared by many others) things have DEFINITELY changed in the knitblog community. The other day I received an email that the knitblog web ring was changing its ring software and you have to re-sign to be a part of the ring. When I first signed up there were very specific rules for joining the ring – for example, you had to post on a fairly regular basis and the posts had to mostly be about knitting. According to the knitblog web ring website, there were about 1300 blogs on the old ring and so far 44 people have signed up for the new ring. AND the rules have been relaxed. You only have to post once a month now. I’d be willing to bet that a significant majority of the blogs on the old ring wouldn’t even be allowed to join now.

To me, that signals a dramatic shift in the knitblogging community.

Why? Of course, blogging is a fluid enterprise. People come and go all the time. Priorities shift, life events get in the way, but this seems to much larger than just the usual comings and goings in the community. For better or worse, IN MY OPINION Ravelry has had A LOT to do with it. There are many many blogs on my bloglines list that post very sporadically and when they do, they blatantly say they’ve been on Ravelry. It’s MY OPINION that the interesting discussions about knitting and projects that used to be on the blogs have moved over there – instead of many in-depth posts about a project we generally get one wrap up post that says the details are over on Ravelry. No doubt, Ravelry is an extraordinary tool in this community, but the social aspects of it have had a huge impact on what I loved about knitblogs.

I’m not innocent by any stretch of the imagination. The knit part of my blog has suffered greatly since I got pregnant and the blog part of my blog has suffered as well. I still knit, for sure – I’ve started 87 projects in the last month – none of which are very satisfying. And most of my posts are about my baby. Yes. It’s true. I’d like to think I was prescient in that I named my blog the very narcissistic January One – no knitting in that title. It’s all about ME.

Maybe I’m just bored and knitblogs are still as vibrant as they ever were. Maybe it’s true that the blogs I’m subscribed to have changed, but there are still knitbloggers out there ready to inspire. Leave me some blogs in the comments if you’ve got some you really love. My computer time is limited, but I’d love to laugh and be inspired. Who wouldn’t?

Again – MY BLOG HAS SUFFERED. I am not holding myself out as some kind of paradigm perfect blogger. I’m as guilty as the next person. But I do think there’s been a cosmic shift in the community – and maybe it’s my own fault – but I can’t help but feel out of the loop. The community I knew and loved has changed. (Although you could say it’s been coming for awhile. I’ve felt a similar shift at the last few fiber events I attended as well.)

Go ahead. I’m ready for the shit storm. Remember, though, my computer time is limited. As evidenced by how my own blog has changed, the baby is my #1 priority.

Filed Under: blogging stuff
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