Can I tell you how many blog posts I’ve written in my head lately? I miss it so much and it’s not because of any sense of obligation – although I do feel that sometimes – it’s more that I have a lot to say. I’m too tired to find the words and when I have them, I’m usually no where near a computer.
I’ve been thinking a lot about firsts lately. Sort of a no brainer now that I’m a first time mom. Everything Meli and I do together is a first – and truly everything she does is a first and she’s the first born daughter of a first born daughter of a first born daughter. Kind of cool, no?
The last few weeks have been FULL of firsts for me and my girl:
— We took our first train ride together! It was a big success and we even met another little girl on the train who was EXACTLY a year older than Meli. Seriously – same birthday. Isn’t that a hoot? And everything about the ride went off without a hitch. Although watching the other little girl squirm around and want to run free told me we won’t be taking the train once Meli’s mobile. Too much trouble.
— Meli thoroughly enjoyed her first sleepover with her cousins. It was a huge weekend for firsts – first time in Synagogue. First Bat Mitzvah. First time meeting some of her cousins. FIrst ballet recital (watching, not dancing, of course.) It was a really good weekend and I’m excited to spend time at my sister’s more often. Now that I know we can sleep over successfully, I think we’ve got a lot of fun times ahead this summer.
Then we came home and it was even more firsts!
— Meli made her first trip out to Long Island to visit her FAinLI. This trip was VERY significant in that I drove us out there – by myself. I know I’ve talked about my anxiety and panic on the blog before and one of the ways it’s manifested itself in the past is that I hate to drive longish distances by myself – especially on highways. I’ve had bad panic attacks – so bad I’ve pulled over on the side of the road and waited for someone to come get me. Hence my love of trains. But since I got pregnant and Meli’s been born, my anxiety and panic have really regressed. I still get anxious, but I don’t have the time, energy or inclination to indulge it anymore. In a lot of ways, my past anxiety was a luxury. That’s not to say I don’t have a mental condition that predisposes me to anxiety and panic, it’s just that I can harness all my skills to control it and my life is such that I’m able to control it better than ever. Which is just a really long way of saying I drove out to Ann’s by myself and it was totally fine. I had my moments, but they quickly disappeared. The real REAL test will be if I can drive down to Philly on my own – and when I say on my own I mean with my most precious passenger.
It was quite an accomplishment for me, and also it was really natural. Something’s changed since Meli was born. My psychiatrist thinks I’m cured – he says I’m the calmest he’s ever seen me – and he’s known me for fifteen years (which in Woody Allen years is a lifetime!) It’s like I used up all the craziness trying to get pregnant and worrying about getting pregnant and what would happen once the baby was born and then I got pregnant and I stopped being so crazy. Crazy, huh?
Okay – what other firsts? It was Meli’s first time around animals – dogs to be precise – and honestly – I don’t think she noticed. No matter how cute those pugs are. She went to spinning guild and didn’t seem all that interested in the spinning. Although I really miss it!
Then we came home and found out that three days later we were going on our first family ROAD TRIP! And getting a NEW CAR! We needed a new car once Meil was born because fitting the seat in the back necessitated us moving the position of the seats in the front – not a comfortable ride for G or me. And of course, the one car we wanted could only be found in Vermont. After two months of searching for the car, we didn’t really want to wait for it to be trucked down and when the dealership told us we could drive one of their cars up to Vermont and switch it out with our car, we jumped.
The best part? Our trip took us right past Yarn Mecca. Literally! I told Georgie we just HAD to stop. So Meli and I took our first trip to WEBS!!! How cool is that? I emailed Kathy, one of the owners, before we went and she was so gracious taking us around the HUGE shop. When I tell you this is the biggest yarn store of all time – that’s only scratching the surface. I know I didn’t see all that was there – no way no how. Thank you Kathy for helping me out!! It was great to see you and I’m so glad we got a chance to stop in! Of course I bought stuff – I’ll try to get pictures to show you – but don’t count on it. (Sadly, I took no pictures, but Kathy has photographic proof of our visit on her blog. Thanks again Kathy!!) b
We ended up in Montpelier – hungry and exhausted. We made the trade and LOVE our new car!! The next day we decided to do a bit of reminiscing on our way home and stopped off to show our daughter where we got married.
Georgie and I were married almost seven years ago on the court house steps in Newfane, Vermont. It was just the two of us and our jp. Gotta love Vermont! No witnesses necessary and CHEAP! If you’re ever looking for a place to elope – Vermont’s got it all over on Vegas.
It was a beautiful, beautiful day. The sky was as blue as the day we were married, but it was much cooler. Just a wonderful memory and it was made even sweeter by our daughter.
I mentioned how much I love my new car, right? Here she is!
A Volkswagen Passat Station Wagon. In Mocha. I learned how to drive on a brown Impala station wagon so this is so much fun for me. The best part though is that G and I can sit in the front seat together (i
n the other car, with the car seat, one of us drove (obviously) and one of us had to sit in the back because of the way we had to adjust the seats to fit the baby seat.) Oh my god we were all like holding hands and stuff. So nice! And the back seat is HUGE! LOVE THIS CAR! Did I mention how fast it is too? Faster even than the fast car. LOVE IT!
Last but not least, on Memorial Day, my girl had her first dip in the pool!!
I guess she kind of liked it because she didn’t complain at all and the water was FREEZING. Don’t worry, it’s not like she went for a swim or anything, we literally just dipped her toesies in and got them a little wet. Can you tell how big she is?
And how cute is her little bathing suit and matching sun hat?!?!?!
I ask you – is she not the cutest thing ever?!?!?! Don’t you just want to eat her up?!?!
It’s officially summer!
I’ve got another first coming soon – my first baby sweater for my girl. I’ve got one more tiny little sleeve and then I have to seam it together. I can’t wait to tell you about this sweater and I promise PROMISE it won’t be long before I’m back again.
Miss you. Love you.
C
Miss you too Cara but it’s all good knowing what a joy you’ve got keeping you busy over there. I had to post today to tell you I just got my first skein of socks that rock in the mail today! I got them after reading your blog and deciding I was missing out. (and Cara, if you want to see another cutest baby my sister just had her baby boy and there are photos on my blog!)
You sound so happy! I’m so glad for you and your beautiful family! I miss you posting but you definitely need to experience all those firsts more than posting.
What a beautiful baby! I get what you’re saying about the crazies being gone. It took us three years to have our first. Once she was born, I felt like I had the world by the tail. Now we have five kids and they have me by the tail!!!
You were just meant to be a mom!
Oh my, but she is getting big! She does look adorable, Cara, and so calm in the photos with Mom and Dad.
It is good to hear from you again, and sounding so well and happy. Congratulations on getting away on your trip with her!
Take care.
That was such a lovely post! I’m a (relatively) new mama myself (Ben is 21 months old now… wow!) and I remember those early days of firsts and when I finally got around to missing the things I “used to do… just a little”. 🙂 You just keep savoring those firsts – we’ll be here waiting for you. And a little co-inky-dink that made me love this post even more… we just got a new car, too! Breathe deeply, my friend. That’s new car smell! 🙂
It is surprising, sometimes, how becoming a mom can change you. I had a similar experience with bits of craziness disappearing after my daughter was born (27.5 years ago). I didn’t notice it at the time, but looking back, I did. I wouldn’t presume to explain it, but I wonder if it’s the way being a mom grounds you, or maybe it’s just the way your priorities shift.
And yes, that is one beautiful little girl you have there. All the best to you.
What an adorable post! Enjoy these days and savor every moment. I can’t wait to see the baby sweater.
She is very cute indeed!
Just on the panic/anxiety stuff I know exactly what you mean…I’m not sure if it’s because I’m in my 30’s rather than my 20’s or what, but with 2.5 kids I don’t have time for panic attacks anymore – I just seemed to get over it somehow.
Glad you had a good trip.
She’s so cute she makes me cry and smile at the same time.
xoxo to you both!
Such a treat to see a post from you this morning! Thank you for sharing your beautiful family with us.
She is just the cutest thing ever! Your pictures are all great but the deep seated daddy’s girl in me loves the picture of G and Meli where she’s got her head tucked up under his chin. Makes me miss my Daddy…
What a wonderful post. You sound so happy. Meli is so cute.
She is, indeed, the cutest thing. And yes, I do indeed want to eat her up!
Or at the very least snorgle her widdle toes.
I eloped in Vermont too! I highly recommend it. We spent $300 on our wedding, including two nights at the hotel, two four course meals, and the trip to Canada for an afternoon latte.
Meli is a doll! I have been reading your blog since just before she was born. Glad she has affected your life in so many positive ways. You will love your Passat wagon. I bought mine new 6 years ago, getting rid of the dreaded minivan when the last child went off to college. I knew that I wanted a wagon. I had an 1988 Corolla wagon before the minivan and was disappointed to find that the Japanese carmakers didn’t import them any longer…except Subaru, and they looked too much like an SUV for my taste and the Volvos were a bit too pricey. I know what you mean about the fast part 🙂
Just found your blog and I’m loving it. You have a very sweet baby girl. I have two girls and they are all grown up now but we are still having firsts. I’m living with one right now while we build a new home around the corner from her. And we spead every day together and now she has a sweet little boy that I just adore.
Awwww! When I need a little sunshine in my day, I come to your blog to look at that sweet face. Adorable!
Ohhh she’s so adorable! You guys look so lovely together, I am glad you are all doing well, and it’s great to hear from you on your blog again!
This is an incredible post. Absolutely incredible. I can totally appreciate how far you’ve come and where you are – isn’t it great?! The best part – it only gets better. You are at the hardest part right now. 😉
All together now — Awwwww, howwww cuuuuute! And that goes for all 3 of you, plus the new car. Good for you on the documentation of all the Firsts. I wasn’t quite so good about it, and have forgotten much. Enjoy all the Firsts as they occur!
Such a BEAUTIFUL family! I couldn’t be happier for you all. And yes, Meli is beyond cute, and totally edible. I look forward to getting to meet her in person.
What a beautiful baby .. reading your blog brings my daughter’s babyhood back to me so clearly. Keep enjoying these days!
I’m only commenting to say one thing though – don’t give up on the train as Meli gets older. I have certainly seen kids for whom train travel is probably not a great idea, but I think they’re really in the minority. We used to take our daughter on the NJT train all the time when she was a toddler, with no incidents of any kind. Usually to go on some kind of fun trip into NYC (Natural History Museum!), so threats of going back home kept her in line. On the way back, she was exhausted and fell asleep. The biggest pain was the stroller – but with an umbrella stroller & two adults, we managed. And on our line (Morris & Essex) people are generally pretty nice to people with little kids.
If there is a happier mommy and daddy on the face of the planet …. well let’s just say the giddiness leaps out of the pics! Lucky Meli!
She really is too adorable!
I think pregnancy does amazing things. I had severe vertigo on staircases that improved immeasurably after my first pregnancy.
what a huge update! it’s great to hear from you! meli is so cute. i love her little bathing suit. it sounds like you’re all having a great time. i’m excited to hear about all of meli’s “firsts”. xoxo
What a wonderful update, it’s so nice to see you!
She’s really, really a gem.
We are having car seat issues not fitting in our car (2 door Honda Accord) too. Do you mind telling me what car you had the issue with (so we can stay clear of it)?
Yes I want to eat her up!!!!!!
I’M hungry, please send over more edible baby photos.
We eloped too–best way to be married in my books.
Miss Meli IS the cutest baby ever! (after my own 3 kidlets of course) Thanks for sharing pictures of her and your family, she is just a doll.
y’all are all just too cute! thanks for sharing.
There’s your smiling face! What a beautiful girl! Enjoy every minute.
I loved all the baby knitting I did for new grandson. Things go fast and they are so sweet to see done up. You have been missed.. I look each day for a new post.
I’ve always come here (in part) for your enthusiasm — but it was always for knitting. Seeing your enthusiasm for your new life is even better. I love it. And I love the pictures. Your daughter is so beautiful and your husband very handsome — just a lovely family. And best of all was what you said about the anxiety & panic attacks. Congratulations on that major leap!
You sound so happy and content! How wonderful for you and your beautiful family! I have to tell you that I remember after having my first child (now 19…)that I felt as though I had just shed an old skin and now was all new and fresh and alive and tingly. Two recommendations for you: First – Madonna’s “Ray of Light”. No, I’m not a huge Madonna fan, but this song captures that feeling of just having a child and how it so changes you (she had just had her first child when she wrote this song). I love the line in the song, “…and I feel like I just got home”. Second – A poem entitled, “Seeing the Earth from the Moon” by Maureen O’Brien. It’s a great poem about being in labor and that first moment when you see your child for the first time how that moment changes your perspective so drastically. It must be what it’s like for the astronauts to see the Earth for the very first time while standing on the moon. Suddenly, everything is different (this poem can be found in a book of poems entitled, “I Am Becoming the Woman I’ve Wanted” – if you’re interested).
I think you’re cured too. You are so in love with that baby you can’t even think about stressing. 🙂 It’s lovely to “see”. I’m pretty sure you’ve eaten up so much of her there wouldn’t be any left for us!
Great post! Speaking of sweaters, when can I see you and give Meli her purple cotton summer sweater?
xo Kay
Meli gets cuter by the day! It’s amazing how children fill our lives so much isn’t it?
Have fun with all of her firsts 🙂
Your pictures are adorable. I think we have the same picture of our daughter at the same age in the pool at my sister’s. But then we also got a VW Passat wagon for her. Mine is 8 now, and I’ve become a soccer mom.
I really appreciated your thoughts about being a mom and recognizing that the anxieties were a luxury. There were all kinds of things I just magically “got over” when my children were born.
Boy a whole lotta first’s for Meli in this post! It was great seeing you and your cutie at the guild meeting last week!
Congrats on the car! I cant say enough about VW’s. We’ve only a bunch of them by me! That and my German Shepherd pup whose name is Jetta. With my hubby there is no escaping it!
LOVE the bathing attire! Too cute. Glad you are having so much fun with miss meli!
Boy a whole lotta first’s for Meli in this post! It was great seeing you and your cutie at the guild meeting last week!
Congrats on the car! I cant say enough about VW’s. We’ve only a bunch of them by me! That and my German Shepherd pup whose name is Jetta. With my hubby there is no escaping it!
Yes, she is the cutest, and yes, I do want to just eat her up. TOO adorable. All three of you, actually. What a laid-back little girl she seems to be (at least in the pics). And motherhood clearly suits you. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you more beautiful than in the pictures with your daughter.
I know Newfane! My husband took me there (to the Four Column Inn) on a get away weekend, while I was awaiting some test results. All ended fine — it’s gorgeous there! Interestingly, I’m a lot calmer now than before I had kids —
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I hear you on the firsts – we keep celebrating them, too. This week was our first visit to our great-grandparents (both sides – lots of 4 generation photos!).
OK, how do you get to ride in the front seat? We just took our first road trip (an ambitious 10 hour drive) but I had to sit in the back the entire way to be on pacifier duty… if she started getting fussy, the paci went back in!
Love the new car! Have fun with it!
Also, love the sun hats! Where did you get them small enough to fit? All of Raley’s go down over her eyes (cute, but not too effective, and she’s not fond of it!) :).
Glad to hear that you’re doing well!!!
What a darling baby! I’m happy for your happy family!
Hey, I’m delurking to say thanks for what you said about the panic attacks and anxiety. Interesting that you get them in the car; for me, it’s the PATH train coming into Manhattan. I’d like to have a child soon, but of course, I’m scared to death about the pregnancy (what if I have the panic attacks and can’t take anything for them?). I’m reassured to hear that you’re focused elsewhere. Congratulations on your beautiful little lady.