Ends

September 6, 2005 By

I set myself some big-ass goals this weekend and guess what? I MET THEM! Yahoo! First up on the list: DON’T BE CRAZY! And I wasn’t too crazy. Really. There were a few moments here and there of bad thoughts but successful thought-stopping ensued which may or may not have included jumping on a trampoline screaming “I LOVE YOU!” at the top of my lungs. Actually, just thinking about doing it made me smile which stopped a bad thought. Did you know it’s scientifically impossible to have bad thoughts while jumping on a trampoline? It’s true. Don’t believe me? Try it yourself.

Second goal: EXERCISE! Which I did! I actually got off my ass and went out this weekend to run, not once but TWICE! Granted, I started my beginner running program from the freaking beginning AGAIN, but it felt so good to be out there and the weather was glorious. I was a little sad though because my running route is basically the same as my flower route – the path along the development behind my building is the source of most of my flower pictures. I basically missed the whole season. Literally. And what’s out there dying is pretty much TOO dead for my tastes. I do like to take pictures of flowers on their last stem, but these babies are already gone. A trip to the botanical gardens may be in order very, very soon. My little sister will be coming to stay with me next week for a little bit while G is away (AGAIN!) and hopefully we’ll make a trip up to the Bronx.

Third goal: EAT! Yeah. Too much of that. I’m already putting back on the gloriously lost crazy pounds. You knew it was going to happen. But for two days I looked thin again. Hopefully the running will keep things in check. I was back in pants I couldn’t wear since LAST summer. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again – I always look my best and mentally I feel my worst. It’s a sad truth.

Fourth goal: KNIT!

DIAMOND FANTASY SHAWL

I’m really enjoying this lace project. I’ve put markers at all of the 12 stitch repeats and it’s been fast going that way. I’ve barely had to tink back – I think maybe once so far. I’ve got one purl row to go on the fourth repeat. I’m planning on doing all ten – for the shawl. Those girls that can do the scarf and call it a shawl are much more petite than I. I may actually go even farther – depends on the yarn situation. I’m liking the yarn too – at least the color. The variegation seems to be working really well with the pattern. Each diamond has some blue, some green, some darker blue. It’s looking lovely. As I knit it I’m thinking it will be beautiful to wear to synagogue this year, should I go for the High Holy Days. With a nice navy skirt and a crisp white blouse. I always loved High Holy Days clothes. Almost as much as I love the prayers said this time of year. They’re mournful and melodic and I often catch myself singing them year round. Anyway, I’ve been enjoying the DFS and I highly recommend it!

WALKING ON SUNSHINE SOCKS

Yes, I completed a sock. I very much like it – it’s bright and cheery and it fits well. The heel isn’t perfect – I need to tighten up some almost holes, but in the end I think I like the gusset/flap heel best. I tried two different kinds of short rows and didn’t like either. I still have to try an afterthought heel – next pair of socks – but for now this works well for me. Nice to know that, you know? I haven’t cast on for the second – but I will today. And I want these clogs. Especially for Rhinebeck.

And last but not least….

SHORT ROWS


Yes, my friends, it’s a FINISHED back AND FRONT of the now infamous Short Row Sweater. This was the MAJOR goal of the weekend – I want this sucker done! Of course, in succeeding at said goal, I kind of made pretend that there weren’t 3,681,207 ends.


Just for kicks, you know, to see if this thing will actually, one day, miracle of miracles, BE a sweater, I pinned the back and front together.


WHAHOOO! This might actually WORK! I’m very happy with it so far. Here are some close-ups on the zigzags:


So all I’ve got left are the sleeves – which should be a breeze since they’re all one color. I’m planning on doing both at the same time – and I still haven’t decided yet if I’m going to even cast on for them BEFORE I attend to those ENDS. Ugh. I see myself wearing this sweater for the High Holy Days too. With the same navy skirt. It’s nice to have goals. 😉

~+~+~+~

Lest you think it was all fun and games and knits here this weekend, there were still tears and sadness. Some of it personal, some of it global. The more I read and see of the tragedy on the Gulf Coast the more disillusioned I am with the human race as a whole. People are just SO MEAN. I’m sick to death of the finger pointing and name calling and who did or did not do what. I’ve never had any love (or even like) for the current administration, but now I’m even disgusted with the people I supposedly AGREE
with. Now is the time TO SHUT THE FUCK UP and ACT! It’s not the time for who’s right and who’s wrong. It seems to me that the political atmosphere in this country is directly to blame – which means BOTH SIDES. BOTH SIDES. NO POLITICIAN OR PUNDIT IS INNOCENT.

[ETA: If I hear one more “person” say how everything would’ve been handled so wonderfully if Ghouliani had been mayor – I’m going to start screaming and not stop. There is NO WAY that the disaster in NOLA can be compared to 9/11. After the towers fell, the event was pretty much over, except for the clean-up. The whole tragedy affected (physically) a very small part of the city. There was no recovery. By the end of the day, things were back to “normal” in terms of people getting food, shelter, communicating with each other. Sure, some people were homeless – but those people had the means (by virtue of where they lived) to find other shelter. Ghouliani didn’t have to hold the physical well-being of the city together. This may seem harsh – but it’s the truth as I see it.]

I watched the Sunday news programs this weekend – it’s something G usually does and occasionally I tune in. When I saw Jefferson Parish President Aaron Broussard on Meet the Press, I was beyond horrified. Then I read about shoe shopping and slack jaws and I wonder, where is our collective conscience? And even if you don’t really care about what’s happened here, where is your INTELLIGENCE to keep your mouth shut? We can’t even make it LOOK like we care. (And isn’t it so much worse that these WOMEN can’t seem to gather up any real sympathy?)

All weekend long I’d pop on over to Margene and Susan’s site and gain a little bit of hope back.

Knit on through all crises. And that’s exactly what I’m doing.

Filed Under: Diamond Fantasy Shawl, politics and other crap, Short Rows, Socks, Sunshine Socks

Listen

September 2, 2005 By

to the pain and desperation and frustration in this man’s voice. It breaks my heart.

Filed Under: Uncategorized

Seasoned

September 2, 2005 By

Have a safe, productive, peaceful weekend. Hopefully nice knits to show on Tuesday.

Love,
Cara

Filed Under: Photographs
September 1, 2005 By

https://januaryone.com/blog/post_2/

Filed Under: helping others

September

September 1, 2005 By

Oh how I’ve longed for thee!

September is so bittersweet. That first glorious end of summer day – warm, dry, blue, blue sky and I’m immediately back to that morning four years ago. I was psyching myself up for a run, doing some work. I hadn’t turned on the TV yet. My father called. At that time, my father never called unless it was bad. And it was.

Watching the utter devastation on the television last night, I was reminded of a rainy gray day in the aftermath. The reporter was saying that sometimes the best thing to do is fill your car up with bottled water and clothes and supplies and drive them to the nearest place in need and just give it away. That’s exactly what I did four years ago. I got in my car, drove to my warehouse store and filled my car with water and gatorade and batteries and t-shirts and whatever else was on the “list.” I drove my treasures to a drop off point, the whole time the smoke from ground zero visible in my windshield.

There’s something inherently fascinating about devastation so extreme. It’s numbing almost, seeing image upon image and not being able to FEEL what they feel. But last night I connected – I was overwhelmed at the memory of driving in my car to help, but not being able to escape, for even a second, the horror of what had happened.

I’ve never been to New Orleans, or the Gulf Coast, but I know its importance in American History and Culture. I pray these events are only a tremendous setback, and not an inevitable loss.

Visit Margene for details on giving.

Filed Under: Life, Photographs

It’s all good…

August 31, 2005 By

from Diego to the Bay.

Although I’ve always thought it should be “from Diego to the Hood.” Whateva.

Saw the doc, plans are in motion, had a few more hours of peace and back to normal last night. I’m not expecting any overnight cures – trying to keep things in perspective, but I do believe I see the light at the end of this tunnel. Thank you again for all your comments and support. I’m glad to know that I can make someone else feel just a little bit better about their own craziness. (Is that redundant? Their own? Sounds okay. I’m a little loopy this morning. 😉 )

Watch out WORLD! I’m coming back!

Filed Under: Life

Game. Set. Match.

August 30, 2005 By

That’s about how long it took. Literally.

In case you don’t recognize it, that’s the Sunshine Sock. It goes everywhere, but never gets finished. This is kind of a cheat. We were in a Very Important Person’s seats (don’t worry, we were allowed) and G thought it might not be good form to knit while in those seats (ala Elaine and her Baltimore Orioles Cap.) So I took out the sock for the obligatory picture, and I did knit one row (note – not even a WHOLE round) for posterity’s sake.

The best part of the evening? Well, I had a few hours where I was peaceful. Dare I say it? I had some fun. Of course, today I’m back to doubting it will ever come again, but it was there. And a Big Mac never tasted so good.

I think I may have scared some of you yesterday. Rest assured, my family and friends (which includes my dentist, my dry cleaner, the woman on the #7 train yesterday) all know my situation and are on top of it. I’m OKAY. Really I am. I may feel like utter crap, but I’m OKAY. And one day, hopefully really really soon, this will be a distant memory. I still remember the Summer of 2000. It wasn’t pretty, but here I am five years later and this summer wasn’t half as bad as that one. So, it’s all okay. Thanks for caring.

Filed Under: Miscellaneous

Fixin’ A Hole

August 29, 2005 By

Since I haven’t been able to fix the hole in my sanity, I decided, as a diversion, I’d fix the hole in the pinwheel blanket.

Remember this?

It’s the baby blanket I made for my nephew, who’s now, oh I don’t know, FOUR MONTHS OLD! Have his gentle fingers ever touched the blanket? NO. Has he ever been wrapped in the love I infused it with when I made it? NO. It has sat in my den, lonely and unloved, because of this:

Time to fix this bad boy. First, I ripped back the bound off edge just past the holes.

Then, with the live stitches now secured on the needle, I started dropping stitches.

And then I picked them up, one by one.

Here are a couple close-ups of it finished:

It’s not the greatest fix in the world, and honestly, I don’t think Eli will care. I actually don’t really like the blanket. I mean, I like it – I like the pattern and I like the yarn – but not necessarily together. You know what I mean? If you’re looking for truly inspiring pinwheels, Larissa’s got a great gallery going on. I think, eventually, Eli will get another blanket. One I’m happy with.

Okay, well that didn’t take nearly enough time, LOL. Trying to get through the days here folks! I did cast on the front of Short Rows, I’ve got about eight more rows before the first set of short rows starts. And I’ve been enjoying The Diamond Fantasy Shawl. I’d highly recommend it to people starting out with lace. It calls for a sportweight yarn so you don’t have to fuss with lace weight and the charts are really nice to follow. I’ve only had one mistake (knock wood) so far and it was because I threw in an extra yarn over.

Don’t Believe the HYPE!

That concludes the knitting portion of today’s post, so you can leave now if you don’t feel like hearing about my misery. That’s right – I’m STILL MISERABLE! I’ve gotten some nice emails from you good folks thanking me for sharing this part of my life, so I feel like why not?

Here’s a little bit of the problem – imagine you’re standing on a high ledge (doesn’t even have to be that high) and you’re looking over the side. What’s the first thought that comes to your mind? What if I fall over? Or what if I were to jump off? I’m sure everyone has thoughts like this – it’s the situation – the thought comes in and goes out and bang you move on to the outfit the woman to the right is wearing (what is she CRAZY?!) What I do is think those same normal thoughts – but somewhere inside a twist happens and the next thing I know I’m wondering if I WANT to jump off. Or WHAT IF I lost control and jumped off? Then I’m thinking what the hell is wrong with me and then I CAN’T STOP thinking and the next thing I know I’m in a panic attack. And then I can’t get out of my head. The thoughts just go over and over themselves and no amount of rationalizing (They’re just THOUGHTS! They don’t MEAN anything!) can help. Eventually I can get out of my head – but that’s where the anticipatory anxiety rears it’s ugly head. Those niggling little thoughts like – you don’t have the thoughts now, but WHAT IF they come back? Ooooh. They would be BAD. So you worry so much that the thoughts will come that, DUH, they DO come back.

This weekend I played 5,301 hands of solitaire. Trying to get out of my FUCKING head. Thoughts on high balconies are nothing – try adding in some about your precious home life that brings you peace and security and that’ll really knock the wind out of you. DON’T BELIEVE THE HYPE!

I’m getting angry about the whole thing. I haven’t seen my shrink in over three weeks and I finally have an appointment tomorrow. I’m also not eating so well, which only perpetuates the whole cycle for me. I can’t eat when I’m anxious – I get really nauseous. Weight Watchers Schmeight Watchers. Try some crazy when you want to drop that last ten pounds.

I’d spin, but my body is so tense I don’t know what I’d do to the yarn. The kink could probably launch a space shuttle.

Please don’t leave me comments like feel better soon. I WILL get over this. I always do. I’m fighting to get my life back. It’s only a temporary situation. I KNOW this – it’s only when you’re in it that you think you’ll never get out. In reality, I do all the things I need to do during the day – I’m working, I’m living – if you saw me walking down the street you’d thing – wow – who’s that hot girl? (You know, because I’ve lost all this weight! 😉 ) I only blog about this to possibly help someone else. I’m past the pity stage, so don’t throw any this way.

Filed Under: Life, Pinwheel

Laugh Riot!

August 26, 2005 By

Thanks everyone for leaving me so many awesome jokes. It was great fun reading all of them – I laughed out loud, I scratched my head, I had a couple ewww moments – but all and all I had fun!

Without further ado – we have a winner!

TIFFANY

Tiffany’s joke was:

The momma and daddy tomato were out for a nice walk with their baby. The farther they walked along the further the baby tomato would fall back. The momma tomato called out to her baby “Come along little one!”, even so he kept falling behind. The father called back sternly “Hurry up, lets get going!!”, and he fell back even further. Finally the momma tomato became fed up and walked all the way back to the baby tomato and stomped her foot down and yelled “KETCHUP!!!”

I love it! Tiffany will receive the Jamieson & Smith yarn and some sheepy or flower cards. And a little goofy something else.

The funniest joke prize goes to Jody. My sister kept track of the jokes with me and we both agreed that her joke was the funniest, smartest, and all around just a great joke. We laughed every time we told it to anyone that would listen. What’s the joke you ask?

A chicken and an egg are laying in bed together. The chicken rolls over, lights a cigarette, turns to the egg and says “Well, I guess we answered that question.”

LOL! Excellent! I haven’t gotten tired of it yet! Jody – you will receive sheepy or flower cards and something else goofy.

Girls – email me your addresses!
Thanks again for playing and have a great, laugh riot weekend!

Filed Under: Contest

Laugh-In

August 23, 2005 By

If you’re American when you go in the bathroom, and you’re American when you leave the bathroom, what are you when you’re IN the bathroom?

European!

~+~+~+~+~

It’s so good it’s worth repeating. Lord knows I need some cheering up these days – and I know I’m not the only one – so tell me a joke!

This ain’t no kids site, so make it bawdy, make it silly, make it stupid, make it witty, make it BAD, but whatever you do MAKE IT FUNNY!

Leave me a joke in the comments and I’ll put your name in the hat for this:

That’s 4oz. of Jamieson & Smith 2-ply jumper-weight in Cream – perfect for that End-of-Summer-of-Lace pattern! Oh yeah and you’ll get some sheepy or flower cards, whichever you prefer. Or both if you want. And maybe some other goofy prize. We’ll see how funny you are.

Feel free to leave as many comments as you want, but I’m only going to enter your name once. I’ll close the contest Friday night.

ETA: I’ve also decided to give a runner-up prize (photocards and a little goofy something) to the commenter who tells me what I consider the BEST joke of the bunch. So GET FUNNY!

~+~+~+~+~

A guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender if he will give him a free drink if he would show him something truly amazing…

“Sure” agreed the bartender “if you really wow me.”

So the man opens a paper bag he brought in and opens it up. He pulls out a little piano. Then he pulls out a little man and the man starts playing the piano.

“Wow,” says the bartender pouring the man a drink, “How´d you get that guy?”

“I got a genie,” says the man, “You wanna try it, he only gives one
wish.”

The bartender agrees and the man pulls a lamp out of the bag and hands it to the bartender. The bartender rubs the lamp and out pops a genie and offers the bartender 1 wish.

“I wish for a million bucks” — and the bar is immediately filled with geese. “I said a million bucks, not ducks. What, is this genie deaf?”

The guy replies, ” Do you really think I wished for a 12 inch pianist?”´

Filed Under: Contest
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