The End of The Rainbow

Today I read a gossip site that had Halle Berry saying that despite the fact that she’s had some morning sickness, etc she’ll take it all happily because she’s JUST SO THRILLED TO BE PREGNANT!

You know what? I’m beyond thrilled to be pregnant. We started trying to have a baby in August 2002 – through fits and starts it only took us five years to get where we are now. BUT I am not happy about puking every day (STILL! I’m now SIXTEEN weeks pregnant.) I’m not happy about my incontinence issues. I’m not happy about the heartburn that kicked in full force over the weekend. I’m not happy about any of this pregnancy crap – except, of course, the baby that’s growing inside of me. I’m sick of people telling me that the puking is for a good cause. Blah blah blah blah. I can tell you with full certainty that when my head is in the toilet and I’m trying to catch my breath so the puke doesn’t come shooting out of my nose my baby is THE LAST thing on my mind. I’m not thinking that this is the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I’m thinking please god MAKE IT STOP! As much as I’m used to it by now (it’s been 10 weeks already) I will never be used to it. Alright – enough puke talk. One more thing though – my god – my nipples ITCH so bad I can hardly stand it!

What I really want to talk about today has to do with my fertility treatments. I told you before that we did a frozen embryo transfer to get pregnant. That means that sometime before hand I did a fresh IVF cycle in order to have embryos to freeze. When you do a regular (fresh) IVF cycle there are usually lots of shots involved – but most of those shots are subcutaneous – which means the needle only has to go just under the skin. The needles are generally insulin type needles – short – painless – quick – and you can pretty much do them anywhere. When I was doing my fresh cycle I gave myself the shots in my belly every day. They were really NOTHING. Barely felt them and once you get over the initial shock of sticking yourself, it really is NO BIG DEAL.

Once you get to the later half of the cycle though, you need to start shooting yourself with the big guns – i.e. INTRAMUSCULAR shots. These babies are HUGE! It’s a 1.5 inch needle and it’s so long because it has to go into your MUSCLE. Most people take these shots in the ass, which sometimes means you have to have someone ELSE give you the shot. That’s what I opted for – I’m not that twisty.

For the frozen embryo transfer – things are much easier. I took oral estrogen for a couple of weeks before they transferred the embryos, and about five days before the transfer, I started my Progesterone In Oil shots.

Because the progesterone is in oil, it can be difficult to draw into the needle, as well as inject it. I had all kinds of rituals for the shot. I want to remember it all so I’m telling you. First, I would switch out the 22.5 gauge tip with a much larger 18 gauge tip. I would swab the top of the vial, stick the needle in and draw out my medicine. Then, I’d switch back to the 22.5 gauge tip (you want to inject yourself with the thinnest tip possible) put the cap back on the syringe and stick it under my boob to warm up the medicine. Since I EASILY pass the pencil test, this was the best way I could think of to warm up the oil so it would inject easily. While it was warming, I heated up my hot pad so it was ready for my butt after the shot. Then I’d call Georgie and tell him I was ready. My husband has come through for me in so many ways I can’t even tell you – but the shots are up there with the biggest of big feats. He hates all things needle and doctor and hospital but he gave me my shot EVERY SINGLE NIGHT for two months. EVERY NIGHT. The shots go in the upper outer quadrant of your buttocks and they tell you to alternate sides so that you don’t get too banged up. After the shot, I would massage the area to break up the oil under the skin so I didn’t get too many lumps (the oil can coagulate under the skin), and then I’d go lay down in bed with my heating pad.

The best part? I got pregnant. Which meant I got to continue my shots every day until I was ELEVEN weeks pregnant. If you don’t get pregnant, you get to stop the shots as soon as you get a negative test. The shots, in the end, weren’t so bad, but once we hit a nerve and I lost all feeling in my ass. Then I started having reactions to the band aids and it was like I had a bee sting that itched SO BAD and I got welts and we’d have to stick to one side for a few shots until the other side healed. I won’t mention the bruising. My ass is still numb. On both sides. It’s like I got shot up with Novocaine and it’s been wearing off for three months. Would I do things differently? Of course not. I’ve got a baby growing inside of me. But let me tell you I BITCHED about those shots. I hated the shots. Georgie and I were never so happy as the last night we did those shots.

For a long time I thought about the post I’d write and the picture I’d take of those many many vials. Now, at least, I can throw them out. If I ever get a tattoo, I think I might put it right on the spot where I got those shots. It’ll probably still be numb.

Lest I sound bitter, I’m going to end this post on a happy note with lots of pictures. As many of you know, I’m a photographer specializing in children’s portraits. You could say this is ironic, because I started my business while I was trying to get pregnant – talk about torture. While I have had moments of intense jealousy when hearing about someone else’s baby – I’ve never felt that way about any of my clients. I love all the kids I photograph. They’re all beautiful and fun and special and every shoot is different because every kid is different. I’m lucky that most of my clients return year after year. I get to watch these kids grow up!

One of my favorite subjects is a newly born baby. It’s rare I get to photograph a NEW born – usually the youngest I get them is about six weeks – and by that time they’ve already settled into their skin. A couple weeks ago, I was lucky enough to photograph my good friend’s newborn – he was about nine days old – and she’s graciously allowed me to share some of their photographs here.

As I was developing these photographs, I was struck by just how NEW this baby seems. Right out of the womb. He doesn’t even fit into his skin yet. (Please click to see them big – I just love baby pores!) I stopped often to touch my belly and urge my baby to make itself known to me. We’re together all day long – I’m anxious to feel s/he in a way that doesn’t have to do with my digestive tract. C’mon baby! Nothing – not one thing I have ever done – has ever been more worth it.

L, C

Comments

  1. Cara, the baby is completely gorgeous and I’m sooo glad for you and G. I can’t wait to see pics of you three!
    krazee

  2. freinds went through similar procedure— they were’nt as lucky- but they found their babies at an orphanage in Russia. 😉
    However it happens- motherhood is a wonderful thing. AND a pain in the butt.
    trust me;)
    btw- that was weird- was reading the other post when this one posted- ;)I HATE needles.
    Congrats again— with hopes that you butt de-frosts;)
    ts

  3. Your pictures are beautiful.
    Soon you will be able to take your own pictures.

  4. Oh my — your pictures make me wish I could take that rise again — and my kids are now 28 and 31! Your baby will delight in the pictures you take when the time comes.

  5. Oh my goodness – that sweet sweet baby. Beautiful photos.

  6. How many publicists do you think it took for Halle Berry to get those words out?

  7. Beautiful shots of a beautifully fresh baby. Oh, I love fresh babies.
    I’m very happy for you and G. And I have 2 words for you. Gaviscon liquid.

  8. Those photographs are incredible.
    I think the tattoo is an AWESOME idea! Maybe you could do something incorporating the baby’s name and/or birthdate in the shot spot. 🙂

  9. What beautiful pictures. Think how wonderful it will be to take such portraits of your own little one. Hang in there!

  10. I’m sure that in a few months you’re going to look back and think that you wouldn’t change a thing..I do hope the throwing up stops soon, and I know you do too..But man, you have soo much to look forward to, and I’m so glad that you’re sharing it with the rest of us!!!

  11. How do you DO it? I’m laughing, wincing, and crying all at once AND I want to have another newborn…you are contagious (in the best way).

  12. The pictures are lovely. Even though Z is only 12 weeks now, she’s definitely not a newborn any more. There’s something special and magickal about babies that young. I love how you captured it on film.
    I hope your body starts to give you a little bit of a break. Or, at the very least, you start to feel your baby move soon. I can remember the moment I felt Z for the first time. It was amazing. The only thing I miss about being “unpregnant” now is the baby movements. It’s weird and wonderful to feel a small person moving inside you.

  13. Great baby photos. You captured the innocence of the newborn and the all-knowing wise look they all seem to have.

  14. amykatherine says

    Oh Cara. Those photos are simply beautiful. What a wonderful photographer you are. Newborns can be so hard to photograph. These are just treasures.

  15. Those newborn eyes are seeing somewhere else….
    I think it would be so cool to get a tattoo right where the IM shots were! Except you may want to get a tattoo that takes into account that you may have to, potentially, sometime, use that spot again.
    My friend is a tattoo artist and tells me about one of his clients who had a mastectomy and chose to have a large and beautiful tattoo over her surgery site, turning what some would see as deformity into something wonderful.

  16. GREAT photos! :0) I just found out that I’m expecting, too. I know the feeling – of course it’s worth it, but WHEN WILL IT BE OVER? At least we know there’s an end in sight! :0)

  17. Wow. He’s gorgeous and you took amazing photos. Can’t wait to see them when it’s your baby!

  18. Cara, you bring back such memories with that progesterone in oil. My husband gave me the shots, too, and we irritated my sciatic nerve. I still get residuals from that. I used to warm my progesterone in warm water, except when we had that massive East Coast power outage and I had to pop the vial into my bra because we didn’t have hot water (and believe me, I don’t come close to passing the pencil test), and my husband couldn’t get home in time because of the outage, so I had a doctor friend poised with the needle over my behind when my husband walked in the door. Oh, and I used to curse a blue streak when my husband gave me the shot–he was traumatized the first time, I don’t think he even imagined I knew such language! Good luck and feel better soon!

  19. when your pregnant, pretty much anything anyone says to you is annoying. Like i can’t even remember btu EVERYTHING pissed me off, that anyone said to be in regards to my pregnancy.. people insisting I was having a boy, people telling me how I would or wouldn’t feel, people asking me the same questions, strangers wanting to talk to me… i hated it all lol! I was fine being pregnant, I just wanted people to shut up lol.

  20. Oh wow, I wish you lived near DC. I’d hire you in an instant to take newborn shots when L is born.
    (I know you’ve probably heard/tried this for the incontinence but try Kegels if you haven’t already)

  21. Thanks for sharing such lovely pictures…you continue to amaze!

  22. Wow those are beautiful pictures. Your friend is very lucky. You have such talent. I can’t wait to see the great pictures you will take of your baby!!

  23. Wow, I had no idea you had to go thru all that! It just makes this baby all the more precious. And I second what Heather said — your photos of your own baby will be so wonderful. These today will amazing. I can’t even imagine how much more amazing they’ll be when the subject is your child! You are so damned talented!!

  24. Those photos are beautiful. I wish you lived in St. Louis!
    Thank you for sharing your story with us. You two have had quite a journey to get to where you are… I just hope the puking part ends soon!

  25. I love the second picture- he looks so pensive and deep in thought! Thanks for the post about everything it takes- a coworker of mine just got pregnant after a long fertility process. I’m not sure what exactly her path was, but if it was anything like yours, wow. But that little baby face makes it all worth it.

  26. The pictures are beautiful. Thank you for sharing your IVF story. That was one journey we did not have to take with my pregnancies.
    Prayers for the end of your morning (or is it all day?) sickness.

  27. I’m so excited for you. Your story is touching. Unfortunately, your morning sicknes may remain with you the whole time. Not to be gross (since you have been poked, prodded, etc., one more thing won’t be any worse), there is a prescription of phenergan (which is a suppository) which works wonders to control the rough seas of nausea. I hope and pray it will disappear on its own. Try not to eat too late and if one thing sets you off, let that be a warning. Good luck girl. We are all pulling for you and can’t wait to see beautiful photos of your own little one.

  28. I’m right behind you at almost 14 weeks, but with my 5th instead of my first! Still waiting for the barfing to stop, although it has been getting better.
    Don’t worry about not feeling the baby yet. They say you feel it sooner with each pregnancy, but I have never felt it before 18 weeks or so. A few months after that wonderful fluttery feeling, you will be laying in bed at 2 am with stabbing kicks to the ribs saying, “Please go to sleep, baby!” And then you get so used to it that your stomach seems abnormally quiet and still after the little munchkin comes out.
    Everything in pregnancy is bizarre! LOL

  29. no, seriously. that baby made my uterus twitch. and i’m definitely sending some non-puking vibes your way.

  30. no, seriously. that baby made my uterus twitch. and i’m definitely sending some non-puking vibes your way.

  31. i’m sorry. i didn;t mean to send that last comment twice.

  32. Beautiful pics Cara! I’m so impressed with what you and G had to go through and still have to go through to have a baby! I hope the pregnancy gets better for you soon so you can enjoy some of it. Maybe when the baby starts kicking?!

  33. Oh My God those pictures have almost sent me over the edge. I want another baby so bad I can feel it in my uterus. (But it is not in the cards for me, sadly). Thank you for sharing those amazing pictures.
    I did IVF as well, so am well-acquainted with the shots. Tried to give myself the PIO ones a couple of times when dh was out of town, only to draw blood and make myself almost faint. I’m so glad for you that you’re through. IVF babies are certainly hard-won.
    I totally understand about the being tired of feeling bad. It doesn’t matter how much you want this baby, it still sucks to feel like shit. I never had it as bad as you, but I can still remember hanging over the toilet at night and crying and feeling bad that I felt so bad so much of the time. It doesn’t help when other people say things to make you feel even worse. Yes, it’s worth it, but who wants to be that sick for that long?
    Best wishes that you start feeling better soon.

  34. so i skipped over the sticking-needles stuff, cuz i am a huge wimp, but so what? it was worth scrolling to the beautiful newborn pix at the end! awwwwww so sweet!

  35. i’m so glad you wrote this post! 🙂 i was a bit worried about you, but i can see now that you’re gonna be just fine. you can look at the big picture and that’s what really matters! i can tell you that there was a patch of skin on my left thigh that went numb around 20 weeks and the feeling didn’t return until a month after the peanut was born. it does come back! those few months of shaving a numb leg were pretty darn awful.

  36. Wow, what a great gift for this Mom of her new baby! I always wish I could get professional pictures done of my kids that young. He is just so sweet. I love it…makes me want another 🙂

  37. i barfed non-stop till 16 weeks-hang in there! and no matter how much you love your baby, no, you do not htink of them hanging over the toilet while you are wondering if this will in fact be the barf that actually kills you. one time i did actually choke while barfing and seriously thought i’d die-and part of me was RELIEVED!! it WILL end eventually!! and i’m sorry about your butt 🙂

  38. The Knitting Girl says

    What remarkable pictures! Wished we lived closer so you could take pictures of my new grandson.

  39. Cara, the baby pics are fabulous. Don’t let the naysayers get you down. It’s YOUR blog, girlfriend. You write what you want — even if we get nothing but puke talk for weeks on end. I eagerly await the next installment. We got around the whole IVF and pregnancy thing by adopting — my “gestation” was approx 26 months. Heck, just getting him home from Russia, the travel time was longer than most people’s labor. 🙂

  40. debbeeanne says

    Those baby pics are incredible! What great talent you have. I, too, didn’t know exactly what is entailed when you do IVF. Congratulations on your pregnancy, and kudos to you for hanging in there through all the stuff you had to endure to get where you are. I hope you feel better soon and start to enjoy this experience more.

  41. Honey is good for itch (on the outside) It won’t hurt to try it anyway. Good luck.

  42. oh, those photographs are beautiful! i’m sending soothing and encouraging words (totally non-inane) wrapped in a big fat hug.

  43. wow…the talent….yours in capturing the newness of the baby, and your friend in creating something so worthy of pictures.
    You have two amazing gifts – one in your belly, and one in your perspective.

  44. I agree newborns are the best. I love the little fuzz on their skin. You can see it in your pictures. They are beautiful.

  45. Those photographs are STUNNING!

  46. The photos, and the baby (and family) are beautiful. And it’s a lovely thought, and true, to realize that whoever you have in there is in many ways, their very own self already. As you’ll learn, for better and worse, when they come out. It’s one of life’s great and wonderful mysteries.

  47. Once again I wish you had been here when I had newborns to photograph. I’d give a lot to have even one picture that real. Beautiful! With extra wrinkles! xoxo Kay

  48. what a gorgeous baby and such beautiful photos!
    they definitely remind me of what’s at the end of the rainbow, which i am in need of – at 24 weeks and i still need medication to control the morning sickness 🙁 it has slowly gotten better each week, but let’s just say i’m still having trouble catching my breath for long enough to prevent ‘nasal projection’. not to mention the choking. and the hunger afterwards, just to go through it all again!! but when the baby starts moving (like mine did last week :), you feel this amazing connection that no one else can feel yet and you realize there really is SOMETHING growing in there, it makes it all a little easier to cope with. but it’s still the last thing on your mind when you’re clutching the toilet seat in desperation!
    i’m so glad to have heard your story of fertility treatments – it has really opened my eyes – and my, what a journey you have been through to get to this point!! we found out i was pregnant the night before our first fertility appointment – a complete surprise since we had given up trying the previous month and were preparing ourselves for a tough road ahead. i’m not sure i could have been as brave as you were with all those needles! i’m a little *teary-eyed* with admiration! i promise it’s not the hormones 🙂
    i’m wishing that you feel better soon + i can’t wait for you to feel those first fluttery movements, they really help to get you through the day when everything else pregnancy-related is grating on your nerves. and thank you for putting all these things into words, you are touching people in ways that you may never know by just being honest, including me 🙂

  49. The photos are beautiful – you really capture that big skin and those newborn eyes that seem to look beyond what we can see. It’s very interesting to read your (brutally!) honest posts about your pregnancy – you’re so right, all those pains that come with being pregnant are not always so pretty and it’s great that you have the courage to say it. Wishing that you’ll feel better soon!

  50. Try Lansinoh lanolin for the itching. You’ll need some breast pads to keep the mess off your clothes. Those are the sweetest pictures. Makes me miss (slightly) those days with my own two who are now crazy toddlers.

  51. Thanks for sharing your journey on getting pregnant. Had no idea it was quite that involved to go the route ya’ll had to go. Glad in the end it all worked out for you and Georgie

  52. Damn. It.
    Crying at 7:19 AM. Probably because I’m starting my Lupron shots ON FRIDAY! And I’m so excited for you, my virtual friend!
    See you at Rhinebeck! (Oh, and I started an IF blog a while back http://child-bearing-hips.blogspot.com… and you are smart – it’s yet another time suck. But the people who read are very supportive, so I guess it’s a wash).

  53. That little boy looks SO AWAKE for 9 days old. He’s taking it all in!
    Just think – soon, you’ll have one of these all your own. I don’t know if I could do those injections, but I can see how they would be worth it to end up with a little one like that. 🙂

  54. He’s so alert for nine days old! Or maybe you just caught him in the few seconds that he had his eyes open, but honestly … what a wise little face he has.

  55. p.s. I wish you lived closer … I’d have you take pictures of my crew in a nanosecond.

  56. Newborn babies are the most beautiful things in the world!!! There isn’t a single one that isn’t. Seeing those pictures has brought back a flood of memories from when my children were babies. My most precious memories are the 2:00 am feedings, in a quiet, dark house, snuggling with the baby and feeling their breath on my neck as they fell back to sleep. I never wanted to put them back in the crib.

  57. Wow, those pictures are AMAZING. I had to do a double take to make sure the first few were actually real.

  58. You probably have about 4 more weeks before you feel the baby and recognize what it is. I was around 20 weeks when I started feeling my first one.
    With this one (#4), I’ve been feeling him move for about 5 weeks already (I’m at 21 weeks.) However, only now is he kicking strong enough where other people might be able to feel him. 🙂
    Wait until you and G get to play “What part of baby is that lump I’m feeling?” and “Alien in my stomach: Is that a foot or a hand I’m seeing?” LOL!

  59. This whole process, how hard you’ve tried, how you’ve worked together, it’s beautiful. And yeah, the puking and the itching and everything else, it sucks. I bet it does. It’s the stuff that scares me to death when I think about babies.
    But you will have BABY soon. And from what I’ve read. It’s all worth it 🙂

  60. What an amazing ordeal you guys have gone through so far! It’s incredible to think that there will be a new human being on this world because of it! I can’t wait to see pictures of your NEW born!
    And I can’t wait to bring mine into this world…she’s already a day late….last night as I realized how long we had waited for Oct 8th to come, and it came and went with no baby. But I also am so thankful that I get to feel her kicking and moving around inside of me for another day, which is an incredible experience I will never get again!

  61. The love that you and Georgie share will be the best gift you can give your child. Thanks for sharing. Blue skies!

  62. Such beautiful baby pictures. I love how new babies don’t fit into their skin yet. Especially their necks. They stretch their little necks up and all this loose skin is there, like a turtleneck. I miss the new days with my son…

  63. Try the Clarins Body Treatment Oil. All of my pregnant friends swear by it, and when I use it on my (rapidly expanding) belly, it really helps the itching.
    Love the baby pics!!!!!

  64. Beautiful pictures! I miss having a fresh, new baby that slept almost all day.

  65. oh beautiful baby pictures! I was so so sick with both my pregnancies…but you know it made me really ready for labor-which was much easier than I thought it would be! I would do it all again, as being a mom is SO worth it. You will forget all the sickness and hassles that first millisecond of holding your new baby. Wishing you all the best…soon you will have the joy of getting your organs kicked around lol! ; )

  66. This post is bringing me out of lurkdom.
    Those baby photos are just beautiful. I love how he doesn’t quite fit in his skin yet, too. I also love the expression on his face – like he’s surprised to find himself in the world.
    I’m sorry your still feeling sick. I remember it well. The heartburn was as brutal for me, as the puking. I hated being pregnant but it was absolutely worth it.
    BTW, I have to stick myself in the stomach most days and you’re right, it’s no biggie. The intramuscular shot on the other hand. Ouch!!

  67. I have no doubt the puking sucks! But just think of this as part of the Mommy ‘war wounds’. You will be so proud of it all in the end. (ok cliche – but you will.) Luckily you will soon start to feel the baby more and more! This next 4 weeks will be amazing in that department. I really started to feel about 19-20 wks. It is truely an amazing miracle!

  68. I have had a bad couple of weeks. My husband lost his job. His empoyers are contesting unemployment. Our car got broken into in front of our house in broad daylight (second vehicle to suffer this fate). STressed aout school, work and wanting to move. But then I read your post and am reminded of all that I have to be thankful for. Life could be so much worse and so much more difficult. I think I may donate another twenty to heifer international when i get home.
    thanks for the pick up.

  69. Beautiful photos. Almost makes me want another one. Except for the puking. Complain away if it makes you feel better. I remember that part well and it’s no fun.
    You’ve had a rough pregnancy journey and I wish you all the best. Hugs.

  70. Complain all you want, Cara. You have worked so hard for this, and I am so happy for you!
    The newborn pictures are beautiful – can’t wait to see yours. 🙂

  71. I’ve been quiet lately, but I’ve been reading. Thanks for sharing the stuff about the fertility treatment — it’s something I know nothing about, and it’s not too comfortable to ask people about it.
    What a beautiful post.

  72. I was squirming in my chair while reading about those shots–I feel blessed that I didn’t have to go through that. I’m so glad it paid off. You killed me with your itchiness problem–so many odd things happen as you go through pregnancy! Little tip–you may know this, but if you’re on iron pills please drink lots of water. How to put this…ummmm…elimination will be easier. Lastly–those are beautiful photos. What a wise-looking baby!

  73. Good for you with the PIO shots! I endured eight (8) fresh IVF cycles to get my 3 babies (all different pregnancies!) and the PIO shots were by far the worst. I had to inject myself until 16 weeks preggo, so I’m envying your 11! 🙂 Complain all you want. You’ll be feeling that baby’s feet in your ribs before you know it. YAY for technology! And soon you’ll have your own ‘shriveled’ little one to photograph! Congrats again to you and Georgie!!

  74. What great pics!!!
    Did you hear how Halle ALSO said she’s NEVER felt SEXIER? When I heard that this morning, I thought of you and Sarah W. and how, likely, both of you wanted to CUT her.

  75. When I was a teenager back in the ’60s I was hospitalized for 9 days with severe mono. Part of the treatment was daily vitamin shots in the butt. I developed a big ol’ lump on the side where I got the shots — they didn’t bother to alternate sides, nor to massage the area afterward, nor apply a heating pad. It took MONTHS for that lump to dissipate, and roughly the same length of time for the feeling to return in that area.
    I told you all that to reassure you that the feeling will likely return. Patience is a virtue 🙂 (Yeah, I’d want to slug me, too.)
    Congrats again, and the baby photos are amazing.

  76. Hi Cara, I don’t have too much to say that helps with puking, but I am thinking of you and soooo happy for your good news. And I love that second photo – that is the exact newborn look that I miss the most.

  77. Zofran is a wonder drug — Ask your doctor about it. I was sick for my entire pregnancy, and this medicine helped me survive. Couldn’t you just scream when people tell you try saltines??

  78. I am one of Those People who had the complete opposite problem. Despite birth control, I got pregnant twice more after we had decided that two kids was enough. I was upset and felt sorry for myself for a minute or two, then shut right up when it occurred to me that there are thousands of couples out there wou would love to have my “problem”, lol. I am truly happy for you, and completely understand the hormonal misery that you are going through. My doc always told me that in her many years of experience, the morning sickness is a sign of a healthy pregnancy, and she was always slightly worried for a bit when the moms didnt have it at all. Hang in there. It gets better and it is worth every bit of misery in the end.

  79. Knitty Nora says

    I don’t have children, and probably never will, but as aunty to five and Godmother to about 12 I can understand the excitement that you are feeling. As far as puking goes, I’m sure there are many out there with suggestions better than crackers that may help.
    As you are so baby-ed up, here’s something I found for you – another knitter celebrating her new ‘sprout’. Prepare to coo…
    http://sasknitsitagain.blogspot.com/

  80. And nothing ever will 🙂 Can’t wait to hear you go when you start feeling the baby! Enjoy momma.

  81. Tiny pink gremlin! It scares me shitless (21 yo college student, babies BAD)and yet, staring at it’s skooshy face….
    I want one
    Damn you uterus, damn you

  82. My boobs itched so badly the first trimester. I was bad and scratched so I had scaly skin on my boobs. I ended up using hydrocortisone cream on it and it’s much better now. I was very lucky to not have any of the typical pregnancy issues in my first trimester – just constipation and stinky gas. Now that I’ve only got about 6-7 weeks left, I have to say the 3rd trimester is hard. My body is really feeling the exhaustion and wear and tear from the extra weight. The only good thing is that the baby moves all the time – sometimes it kicks me in the ribs but I love feeling her move and knowing I get to meet this little person soon. I really love the newborn pictures! How did you get pictures of the baby awake? That must be hard! Any tips on photographing newborns?

  83. Well, later when the throwing up (and the labor pains etc) are all gone and but a distant memory you can say oh, it was so worth it. and you will say that and you will feel that.
    right now you are probably just laying on the bathroom floor praying to die. I know the feeling sunshine. This too shall pass. easier said I know…
    plus, Halle has a publicist that tells her what to say and how she should feel. along w/ a good make up artist and someone to airbrush etc. take anything anyone of them say w/ a grain of salt.

  84. I’m so sorry about your ass! Bodies really suck sometimes. The only people who usually say “Grin and bear it” are usually the ones who haven’t gone through it. Or are stupid. Not that I’ve gone through it. I just sit in class and hear of people having diseases and pain and sickness and ponder never getting pregnant or giving birth. I’m such a wuss. You are so awesome, and strong, and you are going to be such a great mother.

  85. Your pictures are so beautiful. They made me cry.
    Best wishes on your journey. Parenthood is definitly the hardest job you’ll ever love (the marines have nothing on motherhood!).

  86. well, you don’t make day-to-day pregnancy sound like an assload of fun, that’s for sure! i just saw the weird comment from a couple days ago – i completely disagree with whoever that was. i don’t at all mind reading about your puking (or even the needles in the butt) because i’d sure want to tell people about it if i was going through it.
    good luck on feeling better soon, though!!

  87. I am so happy for you Cara! Your photos are absolutely gorgeous…aren’t babies great?

  88. What a beautiful, wrinkly baby! I can’t wait to see yours – it must be nice to see how so many people are happy for you.

  89. I have nothing but sympathy for your ‘morning’ sickness woes. I was on Phenegren from about week 8 onward of my pregnancy and it was the only way I could get any sleep. (At least sleep that wasn’t at the side of the toilet) I well remember that nothing anyone could say really made me feel better about it. I wish I could help you though, you deserve a tranquil pregnancy.
    I knew my trauma from the vomiting was real when I had an OB tell me while she was giving me an IV that she had experience with IVF moms with severe morning sickness half-wishing for terminations. At least I knew it wasn’t due to that terrible old wives tale about sickness being from not wanting the baby. It’s just totally sucky to feel so awful.
    I hope the sickness abates for you soon. It is so debilitating. Thank god pregnancy is a self-limiting condition. You are going to be a great set of parents!

  90. wow.
    yeah, that’s the word.
    what a lucky baby.
    it’s gotta be a boy to give you all this grief
    great photos btw.

  91. Awww, what fabulous photos! And is that a cloth diaper I spy? Sweet! Cloth diaperers of the world, unite!

  92. i just want you to know that even though i am years away from a baby, i babysit regularly and i did it all summer and i kind of like hearing about it all. i also wanted to say that i was born as a result of those sorts of treatments. i believe that i was actually the result of hormone pills, and afterwards my parents tried IVF twice unsuccessfully, but here i am, a 20 year old knitting/college/blahblahblah person adult and i guess the point is i wanted to say congratulations and enjoy the fun parts about being pregnant – the happiness, the pregnancy glow, the time when you get all sorts of wacky cravings and just get to eat whatever you want, the fact that people kind of have to be nice to you!

  93. Thank you so much for sharing your story. We too are trying to get pregnant. I feel a lot better about only having to have intermuscular shots twice a month.

  94. Oh, yipes. Oh, needles. I guess it’s just another way the the “old-fashioned” has the “new-fangled” method beat.
    It’s so cool when you start to feel that little somebody, and I bet you’ll get there really soon. At first, it doesn’t seem all that certain, like, are you inventing it? Or is it really something else? But after a couple of weeks of it, when it’s strong enough that you’re sure that’s what’s going on? Then you know you were right about the first tiny tiny flutters.
    Thanks for reminding me that my nipple itch finally disappeared – that really sucked. It’s such a crazy adventure that it sort of seems sometimes like it all just builds up (there’s always something new that’s bothersome) but really, there are also things that have dropped off – yay!
    I’m not usually keen on tattoos, but the idea of a commemmoration of that particular trauma in that particular way seems quite fitting and good.

  95. Meg Luyckx says

    Cara:
    Congratulations on your pregnancy! Hope the morning sickness (morning?) passes quickly! After reading your post today, I cringed however when you mentioned you were going to throw out your remaining drugs. Could you possibly donate them to a similarly situated person? I know from my own personal experience that those drugs are so expensive. How sweet would it be to receive “free” drugs from someone who has already conceived? My sister too was the recipient of some left over drugs from a friend of hers who was trying to conceive. Something to think about?
    By the way, I really enjoy reading your blog and watching your progress on projects. I have to order some of your note cards too, they’re darling.
    Meg

  96. 11 weeks? That’s cruel and unusual! My clinic lets you stop at 7 or 8–and it was a happy day, indeed.

  97. I’m sure you’ve been told this a million times already, but I haven’t read through the comments. Acupuncture can really help with the nausea and vomiting. If you haven’t already tried, it might be worth a shot. (No pun intended!) 🙂 And congrats on the baby, even if s/he is making you awfully sick.

  98. Whoooo. Way to stimulate the old letdown reflex there, with those pictures. What a sweet monkey! Those eyes! That hair! Gah! And I’ve got one right here to gah over!

  99. I know exactly how you feel. I had my son in May. 14 years of infertility, 11 IVF attemps to get him. I was sick the entire pregnancy and enjoyed it. I was so happy to be sick once I hit the 20 week mark

  100. Cara, congratulations and I wish you the best. As for the sickness part – I was sick with both of my boys (now 14 and 16 years old) until my water broke. I was also hospitalized for dehydrations because of it during the second pregnancy. Take crackers with you everywhere, drink flat, warm Coke (that from my OB’s mom – that’s what she did) and talk to your doctor about vitamin B supplements. – C

  101. omg! i need to get me (another) one NOW! stat!
    i hope your symptoms ease any minute now!

  102. Those pictures are stunning Cara, what a treasure for the family. Just seeing that lovely little person makes me ache for another one. Maybe sometime after we get the first one out of diapers!

  103. Congrats on your pregnancy! I’m so happy for you.
    I’m not so happy for your side effects. I had that for the first few months of my pregnancy. I found that Nilla Wafers were the only thing that could soothe my stomach. (My OB said she’d never heard of that one, but it sort of made sense.)
    You might try Vitamin E capsules for your itching problem. The OB recommended them after delivery to help with the pain/itching that sometimes accompanies breastfeeding. You buy the capsules, break one open, and then rub the “juice” on the nipples. It’s really soothing and did, indeed, help with the breastfeeding.
    Best of luck. And get started on those baby projects! (Or knit yourself a nice stole. It will keep you warm and you can throw it over the baby when you’re breastfeeding in not-so-convenient places.)

  104. Those baby photos are adorable. The baby just looks so…. new. Like he’s almost too new to even be out of the womb. And I love how you can see the fuzzy hair on his skin.
    Reading about those shots made me just cringe. Ouch! I can only imagine how glad you are that part is over. Now for the pukes to end!! Hope it happens soon.

  105. Congrats on the good news, I know what you mean about the pregnancy though, I was sock for at least the first six months and couldn’t knit for most of it as it would bring on the sickness, but I love my baby bit really didn’t enjoy being pregnant.

  106. My good friend also had fertility issues and she is a labor and delivery nurse! Gahhhh! She claims it didn’t bother her but I don’t know how that can be. She has now adopted a beautiful boy from Ethiopia.

  107. Those pictures are just Beautiful!!! Congrats on the growing baby

  108. I had two breezy pregnancies, was only slightly nauseaous with the second one, but I tell you I hated every second of them. I felt like a biology experiment, and that every day something else happened and every day it was more disgusting than the previous. The only thing I liked was the movements of the babies.
    However, as soon as both were born, I came down with the biggest cases of POST NATAL ELATION.
    Pregnancy – it’s just a means to an end. And a newborn – nothing prepares you. You think you know love before babies (but you don’t). You get a whole new set of emotions, it’s like your capacity for feelings doubles – I wish you all the best with it.
    Congratulations on your perseverance and honesty on this blog. I admire you a great deal.

  109. those eyes. Its a very lovely baby!!! Such deep eyes!

  110. thank you so much for sharing your story….i can’t wait to see pictures of your brand new baby (if you share, that is!). i’m so happy for you, Cara.

  111. Thanks so much for sharing your story. As some one else who’s ass is being swiss cheesed and going numb, and just embarking on the IVF road, it’s comforting to hear. Hope the puke fairy disappears soon.