I’m not sure what I expected, but thank you all so much for your good wishes! Yesterday morning you had me so verklempt – well – I threw up. So STOP IT! I don’t want to puke anymore!!
I have to admit, for weeks I had been planning to announce our pregnancy on Labor Day and I was so excited I could hardly contain myself. Well, as excited as you can be when you feel sick all day long. But the closer I got to announcing, the more nervous and anxious I got about it. Not that I thought the news would be received badly, but I think telling all of you makes it even more real and that’s scary. Also, I’m usually so open about my life and my thoughts and feelings and suddenly it’s not just about me anymore. I’m responsible for someone else! OH MY GOD! And the world can be very scary – especially the imaginary internet world and I guess I’m feeling all Mama Bear-ish about the baby and that’s kind of strange for me. You know? All kinds of new, terrifying, wonderful, nerve-wracking, crazy feelings going on at once. It certainly is a rollercoaster ride!
Obviously, this blog is going to go through some changes. I don’t plan on blogging about my pregnancy every single day – I don’t know if I’m going to go back to blogging every day – it all depends on how I feel. This is still my fiber blog! If only I had a fiber life these days! I haven’t knit in about two weeks and I have almost no desire. It’s really, really sad. But people assure me that desire will come back and it will come back strong! I hope so! I miss it.
I can tell you though, that once I do start knitting again, I will NOT be knitting baby knits. I know – crazy isn’t it? But I think I have a very good reason for it. My family is VERY SUPERSTITIOUS when it comes to babies – especially first babies – and it’s our “rule,” so to speak, to not bring ANYTHING into the house that has to do with the baby until AFTER the baby is born. I know – how do you get the whole nursery together? What’s the baby going to wear? Etc. It’s my experience that newborns don’t need much. Diapers. A boob. A blanket. So I’m not worried. But I can’t knit for the baby before s/he arrives. I just can’t do it. No matter how tempting these freaking booties are! I might knit for other babies though – there are a few out there about to arrive and maybe I’ll flex my knit muscles on them, but not my own. It may seem like a silly rule. I mean, not knitting isn’t going to keep my family from – God forbid – a tragedy. But we all have our quirks and this one is mine.
Also, right now, we have no intention of finding out the sex of our baby before s/he is born. Maybe we’ll change our minds – maybe not. It’s just our preference.
For the record, I never lied about the pregnancy. š I may have been deliberately misleading yes, but I kind of freaked out when everyone started guessing I was pregnant (we had only just gone back to the fertility clinic) and I knew people were reading the blog that didn’t know anything about what was going on and could be potentially hurt to read it on the blog before they were told in person. So I said I wasn’t pregnant – and I wasn’t! I was never pregnant when I said I wasn’t. Even on July 6.
The baby will not be named Bruce. I can guarantee you that. And we won’t have a little Georgie either. Another family tradition is only naming after the dead. Bruce and Georgie are very much alive, thank you very much. I have to say, though, that when I found out there was a new E Street album and tour – WHILE I WAS PREGNANT! – I felt like my baby’s life was fated. Crazy, again, I know, but the idea of going to a Bruce concert while pregnant has been a sustaining fantasy this miserable (but WONDERFUL!) summer! It’s just too perfect, you know?
I can honestly say I haven’t eaten ONE saltine my entire first trimester. The idea makes me want to puke harder. Pretzel sticks. Almonds. I was eating eggs every day until I puked those. I’ve tried ginger tea. Fruit works. I try to get protein in. While I do feel awful most of the time, thankfully I don’t have Hyperemesis Gravidarum. I’m working my way through this nastiness as best I can and while I appreciate all the advice, I’m sure you all know that one person’s comfort food is another person’s puke fest. Translation: please don’t mention foods! THANK YOU!
Over the next months I hope to share more of our journey to this pregnancy. It’s fairly well known that we battled infertility and I hope to share some of our experiences with you. I feel like it’s such a misunderstood battle (Relax! Have a drink! You’ll get pregnant!) that it deserves our attention. So many people suffer and yet there is a shame associated with it that is just not necessary or helpful.
Alright. That’s enough for now. I have to go eat again. The most amazing thing about this pregnancy thing is the realization that you can feel completely and utterly nauseated while at the same time BEING STARVING! I eat constantly all day long – but I’m never satisfied. And I’m always nauseated. It’s incredible.
Thank you again for all your wonderful good wishes. I have read every comment and email, and while I wish I could respond to all of you, I have to preserve what litter LITTLE energy I have. (Pregnancy brain! HA! I get to say that now!) I don’t know how you 9-5ers do it! We so appreciate the love that’s out there and I look forward to sharing it with you all.
L, C
It’s official. Springsteen’s first album with the E Street Band since 2002’s The Rising drops in less than seven weeks, and it’s called Magic. In case that title makes you, like us, think of Doug Henning… check the Mark Seliger photo at right for a first peek at Bruce’s 2007 look. No rainbows or unicorns to be found. (And that guitar… that’s magic.)
