Look what I did last night!

I knit! For a long time! And even though I messed up the first repeat on every pattern row, I LOVED IT! The color is still off on the photos, but trust me when I tell you I’m loving the pattern and I’m loving the yarn. It’s all I can do to get through the purl back row (something I usually love) in order to get to the pattern again. I’ve got 40 more rows in the first chart (I think I did about 20 yesterday) and I’m almost through the first skein of yarn. I think I’m going to need seven total, so that should let you know how much more I’ve got to go with this. BUT THAT’S OKAY! I’m enjoying myself. There are no races here.

As I knit this shawl, I’m loving the idea of shawls as a wrap for new babies. I imagine my babe all snuggled in my handspun Seraphim. A sleeping baby on Waves in the Square. PERFECT! I’m loving the knitting so much that when G told me he was going to be using MYthe computer for awhile this morning, I pulled out a sock! YIPEE! I’m in the middle of the heel flap on this sock, so the end is in sight. Wouldn’t that be fun!

Today I even thought about a baby knit. I was showing G the sock (the purple rain monkey) and he just loves purple these days. He said we should dress our baby in purple all the time! No pink or blue stuff for our kid. And I said purple and RED! (Lately my nursery fantasies have deviated from the peaceful sea green I’ve imagined for so long to purple and red. What can I say?) Then I said we should bring our baby home from the hospital in RED! For good luck! (In stark contrast to the more traditional gender neutral white – which has some sadly funereal qualities in certain cultures.) Immediately I wanted to knit my baby a red sweater for coming home! (But I can’t. I’d feel so guilty and god forbid if anything went wrong. Superstitions are silly and meaningless unless they mean something to you.)

Anyway, I just love to knit. That’s all.

Today I have to go to the dentist, which is very important for us pregnant gals. On a normal day I hate going to the dentist, no matter how much I love the women in the office! (Hi girls!) But now I’m all freaked out that I’m going to have throw up too. And that it will hurt and there will be tons of blood. But we all gotta do what we gotta do and it’s better to go than not go. Wish me luck. And no cavities. I don’t know what I’ll do if I have a cavity! Fingers crossed!

PS – SHIT! I just saw this and want to cast on THIS SECOND! And I’m thinking Cascade 220 would be PERFECT for this!

Three years ago today I started this blog. Or, really, an incarnation of this blog. It didn’t start out as January One, but it didn’t take me long to adopt the name. I still think it fits perfectly, encompassing much of who I am.

This weekend at Rhinebeck, among my many blogger friends – friends I would’ve never made had it not been for this blog, I took stock of things. Obviously, things have changed. Much less knitting. Much more baby babble. A blog is a dynamic entity. It needs to grow and change and if it had stayed the same all these years I doubt you’d be reading this right now. I’d have bored myself silly and I can’t imagine what it would have done to you.

One of the most interesting things I’ve thought about in the last couple of days – in thinking about writing this post – is WHY I started this blog. Of course it was to catalog my knitting and talk about my knitting, but more than anything, I realize now, it was an escape. I started this blog less than two weeks after Georgie and I backed out of our first IVF transfer. Two weeks. It doesn’t take Freud to understand what I was really after. And oh my god how much this blog – and you all – whether you know it or not – helped me through that very difficult time. Now that I’m on the other side – and the blog has definitely suffered for it – I find it all so fascinating.

The chances are very great, that had I gone through with the IVF the first time, and certainly if I had gotten pregnant, I might have never started this blog.

That time in my life was so difficult. I tortured myself for more than two years with the decisions looming over us. To have children, not to have children. How much to go through to get those children. And honestly I’m so glad we waited. Beyond the fact that THIS IS THE TIME FOR US, I’m completely convinced, it makes me a bit sad to know that had we gone through with it before, I might have missed all that my blog has brought me. Friends. Inspiration. Frustration. Lessons learned. All of it. I am so grateful for what this blog has given me in my life. And, it goes without saying, all of you. Sure, sometimes you make me crazy and I’m sorely tempted to close up shop, but then someone reaches out and tells me that I’ve helped them – or you help me in some very needed way and it’s all worth it again.

Over the past three years this blog has grown in ways I’ve never imagined. Lately, because of the changes I’m going through and inevitably the blog is going through, many people have felt the need to tell me they won’t be reading anymore. I’m not going to lie – it hurts my feelings. This blog is ME. Not all of me, but a great deal of me and who doesn’t want to be loved? BUT, that’s not why I write this blog. I write it because it’s cathartic and an escape and because it’s an outlet for my creativity that I so need in my life. An outlet for my passions. An outlet for my dreams. Everyone needs an outlet and I’d much rather blog than walk the treadmill, if you know what I mean.

So on my three year anniversary I’m rededicating myself to my blog. I will write what I want, when I want. About what I want. Maybe some of you will stay around, most likely some will not. Please, though, if you choose to go, know that I send you off with my best wishes. But don’t tell me about it. Restrain yourselves. Just move along quietly. Thank you.

I’ve also decided to rededicate my life to my knitting. My wise friend Ann and I were discussing the current lack of knitting in my life and she had some really good insight. Generally I’m an all or nothing kind of girl. I throw myself into everything – passion is my middle name – and it’s never been as satisfying to dabble. (I give you Miter Madness. Possibly the most extreme example of my obsessions.) Here I am – working my ass off everyday – collapsing at night – and I realize that what may be keeping me from my knitting is the idea that I can’t knit for hours at a time. But what’s wrong with fifteen minutes here or there? Even two rows? IT COUNTS. So that’s what I’m going to do. I’m going to try to knit a little bit every day and maybe the spark will catch again. And really, this is an excellent exercise for me. Not everything in life has to overwhelm you. Once the baby gets here I’m going to have to be content with a row here and a row there so I better get used to it now.

In honor of my third year anniversary, I cast on a new project last night. And I managed to knit more than 2 rows. 25 to be exact.

It’s the Waves in the Square Shawl by Sivia Harding, one of my favorite lace designers ever! (She of Diamond Fantasy fame!) So far I’m loving the pattern and I think it will be perfect for re-entry. The lace isn’t too complicated and once I get farther into the pattern there’s a rhythm to it. It’s also an interesting construction in that it’s a triangle – but it’s separated in to three sections so it sits squarer on your neck.

I think the picture above illustrates this pretty well. I’m planning on using beads on the picot bind off, as Sivia suggests, but I’ve got a long way to go before I get there. The yarn I’m using was a Rhinebeck purchase:

Fingering weight 100% superwash wool hand dyed by SilverSLIVER Moon Farm. (Thanks, Sharon, for pointing out I got the name wrong!! This website works fine!) The color is Smoky Plum and that’s exactly what it is. There are wonderful streaks of gray running through the yarn – just subtle enough to catch your eye, but nothing that stands out as streaky in the knitted fabric. I’m enjoying myself so much that I stayed up way past my bedtime last night just to finish ONE MORE ROW. Ah. The good old days are back!

There is no pressure with this project. I have one other project planned – my stole with yarn from Briar Rose – and if I manage to get these two projects done before the babe arrives I will be so pleased. And maybe a pair of socks. If not – that’s okay too. Knitting and this blog are my indulgences. I don’t think I should have to give those up just because a baby is on the way. A happy mama makes for a happy baby. And knitting and blogging make me happy.

To celebrate and rededicate the blog, I’m giving away three skeins of the aptly named Socks That Rock January One sock yarn (Lightweight – my fave!) and some other knitty treats as well. Without blogging I would’ve never found this yarn – which truly remains my favorite. To win the yarn, leave a commen
t telling me a part of your life that you miss that you would like to rededicate – or maybe something you’ve always wanted to try but didn’t have the time or were scared or whatever. Or just leave me a comment telling me to have a nice day. I will pick the winners at random. Comments will close at 11:59 EST Sunday, October 28. Winners will be announced on Monday, October 29. ONE ENTRY PER PERSON PLEASE.

Thank you for reading. Thank you for your support. Just thank you.
L, C