What happens in Vegas, Stays in…

Ah fuck it! You didn’t think I wasn’t gonna tell, did you? [It’s a freaking novel – so don’t say you weren’t warned!]

But first – I am thisclose to finishing the sleeves on Ribby Cardi. They WILL be done today! If my fingers have to bleed they WILL be done today.

Okay.

So Vegas.

God help me, I think I love the place. Walking onto the casino floor with the dull lighting, timeless nature, stale smoke smell, lights flashing enough to give you an epileptic seizure – not to mention the bells going off every three seconds – the comatose, zombie like nature of the people that have been there for more than ten seconds – and the hopeful, jubilant excitment of the ones who just arrived – I swear I get a little chill down my spine.

This goes against everything my family stood for growing up – gambling was the ULTIMATE sin – throwing away your hard earned money? Only the truly STUPID (yet another of the ultimate sins) would do that. I can remember my father talking about it like THOU SHALL NOT GAMBLE was the 11th commandment. I guess it’s a rebellion thing because I LOVE IT! Georgie’s a Black Jack man, which I think is boring as hell – only slightly above the slots and Roulette. I USED to play the slots back when I was still young enough to be thrown out of the casinos – G would play his 21 and I would wander around bored, being picked up and alternately cursed (when I won) by single men in tuxes. Finally we had a long weekend in Puerto Rico and a kind man took pity on me and taught me to play at the big girl table. I studied that CRAPS game for days – until the dealers finally convinced me it was time to play. And I’ve been hooked ever since. I’m a dice girl for sure. I can stand there for hours – and never get bored.

Now that I’m boring you, let’s get to the important stuff. The room.
We got to Vegas at around 4 (I won’t go into the fact that we left ‘Zona at 4 – while we were in the air – a half an hour EARLIER than we left – Georgie informed me we could do whatever we wanted on the flight because it wouldn’t count. What were we going to do? No. Not that. I’m sorry – but you’ve been in one of those airplane bathrooms right? I’m too busy trying not breathe so I don’t puke while pee is dripping down my leg to even think about that. Gross. Anyway – the whole time space continuum thing had me slightly fucked up.) So we get to the hotel around 5 – the lobby looks like it does at 3AM, 7AM, 1PM, 10PM, etc. Packed. We finally get to the front of the line and the woman types in her little computer, looks up and says, “You’re going to LOVE me.” Apparently the hotel was overbooked – and since we came in late and were checking out the next morning – we’re talking a mere 19 hours in the room – they bumped us up to a Penthouse Suite on the 35 floor. And not just any suite – one that overlooked the strip and the WORLD FAMOUS BELAGGIO FOUNTAINS! (And that tall structure across the street – I think they call it the Eiffel Tower….)

The view from the room.

Just so you know, while my husband does have connections in the travel biz, all over the world, this reservation was made through ORBITZ. Orbitz people! We were doubly shocked at the upgrade because the hotels pretty much ignore people who book through the cheapy sites. Georgie couldn’t believe we weren’t walked.

A few Vegas stories before I get to the suite pictures (of which there will be plenty.)

My best friend came to visit us in our palatial suite with the girls and after oohing and ahhing we headed out for a gondola ride at the Venetian. The thing about Vegas is that everything seems much closer than it is – the ride was fun. We had a good gondolier. He would sing songs, and my friend’s little girl would say again, again whenever he stopped. But really, how many times can he sing Volare without wanting to go overboard?

That’s me on the left.

We walked back amidst the throngs and said good night – we spent the evening with them the next day – I miss them so much! The girls are growing up and I’m not there and it’s really sad for me. The oldest was my first real baby – we babysat for her – we were so close! We’re still close, but miles take their toll.

On to dinner. I got dressed (okay, first I blogged) and met Georgie for dinner at Circo, son of Le Cirque. Tuscan food. Very nice. Even nicer was while we were sipping our water and perusing our menus, the Maitre’D came over to our table and apoligizing profusely asked us if he could move us to a bigger table with a better view. At this point, we were like, whatever…. 😉 What is it with those Belaggio folks – everything’s gotta be bigger and better with them? Dinner was lovely, overlooking the fountains. Again.

After dinner it was time to play. Georgie came to the table with me for a little while, because I do like to have company until I scope things out and make friends with the dealers. They like to help you – especially if you’re a grrl playing dice. Not too many of us around. In fact the dealer at Georgie’s table was making chit chat and he asked the particulars and when Georgie said he was here with his wife, the dealer asked if I was at the slots. Georgie, very proudly I might add, informed him that no. I play Craps. (Yeah Baby!!!)

So I’m establishing my position at the table, next to the dealer in the middle – the one right across from the pit boss – and there’s an old guy standing closest to the dealer to the left of the pit boss who’s smoking a cigar – it was disgusting. He only brought it out every now and then – so I was already ensconced before I realized it. Georgie asked if I wanted to leave, but there really weren’t that many $10 tables and I liked the dealer so I stayed. Things were not good. I was down to my last $7 – not counting what I had on the table (about $25) – I started with $200. Meahwhile, some heavy rollers had moved in next to Smokey (that’s what the dealers were calling the guy – they were particularly offended by his cigar). I say they were heavy rollers because they cashed out about 7K when they left – that’s pretty heavy to me. All of a sudden it’s Smokey’s time to roll – and while things had been pretty bad, all of a sudden they’re starting to look better. The nice thing about craps is that generally everyone wins and loses together – it’s all about the shooter. Well Smokey’s on fire now and Georgie whispers to me – hey, he’s not smoking anymore. And he wasn’t – it was like the whole vibe of the table turned around! By the time Georgie went off to his own games, I was back on track – I had won back all $200 I lost and then some – I was up like $50! Once Smokey left, one of the dealers was talking to the pit boss – the Holy Roller had paid Smokey $200 to STOP SMOKING! I said, hell if I knew that I would’ve chipped in! The whole luck of the table changed when that guy put out his phallus.

The whole thing about gambling is knowing when to leave, but I was having fun – so I put my $200 in my pocket and took out another $40 which I pro
mptly lost when some amateurs came to the table. I mean, c’mon. You don’t need to be playing when you cash in your $10 bills every time you want to place a bet. Either be in it to win it, or go back to your video games.

I came back later to a different table and lost $100 in like five minutes. I never went back, which I regret. I hate leaving with a bad taste in my mouth.

When we finally got back to the room it was about 3AM. I insisted on a whirlpool bubble bath, which was heavenly. I finally convinced G to get in with me and we watched some TV while we soaked. Funniest thing ever: there was some hardcore porn on – lots of girl on girl stuff that honestly looked really uncomfortable to me – but ONLY ON THE BATHROOM TV. When we finally went to bed, we were flipping around and there was no porn to be found. I guess they think it’s easier to clean the rooms that way. It was really, really funny. Okay, disgusting too, but still funny.

The next day we had to leave pretty early. Georgie went to play some more while I tried to read for my class – neither of us was very successful. Then we hit the Belaggio pool for a short bit before we headed out to my friend’s. He so graciously let me drag him to two yarn stores I found. Much farther than we thought and pretty disappointing. (Gail Knits and Wooly Wonders) I’m sure they’re good for their local customers (although what’s the obsession with Collinette? In Scottsdale too!) and Wooly Wonders had everything a spinner could want or need – but I was looking for something different – not to be found unfortunately. (One thing though – SweaterBabe is a great resource for finding yarn stores on the road!)

Whew. That’s pretty much it. It was a nice vacation – a little short – but a blast at the end! (Arizona pictures to come….) Thanks for sticking it out.

If you want to take the picture tour, go to the extended entry. Hands in the windows please.

Okay – so I’m standing in the dining room to take this picture. Wet bar to the right – gignormous guest bath dead middle in the picture (open door). The “powder room” was as big as my office at home.

Standing in the living room – you can see the bedroom door in the back. The wet bar is to the left. Fridge, sink, mini bar in the wet bar. The woman at the front desk warned us not to TOUCH anything in the mini bar. It’s all sensor activated so if you even THINK about eating that Snickers bar they’re gonna charge you for it.

The Combo Living Room/Dining Room

Living Room Altogether, if you count the bathrooms, there were four tvs in the suite.

I like this image because I think it is a good representation of the size of the suite. I’m standing by the desk in the living room – looking into the bedroom. If it seems far away – it’s because it WAS far away. Ridiculous. I don’t really have a picture of the bedroom – but it wasn’t much. The room was actually small, compared to the rest of the suite – the bed, a tv, a table, a chair – most of the space was for the bathrooms.

Okay – so there were two main baths. What I like to call a “Ladies” room with whirlpool bath, bidet, toilet, mirrored and lighted vanity, closet, etc. Next door, through a tiny hallway, was the “Gentlemen” bath, with a shower that had a steam setting, toilet, closet, sink, etc. They were both all marble and crap. Both had tvs. Although it was a little difficult to watch TV when you were in the shower. But I did it anyway.

This is the famous Belaggio Fountain at night. Our room overlooked it – you can see the base of the Eiffel Tower at the top of the picture. The fountains are choreographed (I’m telling you this is the right word – even if we’re talking about glorified sprinklers here!) to music – and since the room was pretty soundproof – you can turn the TV to the Belaggio station so you can hear the music. Very cool. Although when the fountains shoot up twenty stories is sounds like a bomb going off. Not so cool to those of us prone to startling.

Night. Sin City.