The Rock Chick Interview

1. If Bruce knit, would he use Red Heart in keeping with his blue
collar roots or would he have gone all Beverly Hills and be into some
wonky Colinette sh*t?

Well, I think I can say definitively that Bruce would NOT knit Red Heart. And he definitely wouldn’t knit any of that frou frou Collinette shit. Bruce would knit something that seemed like it was Red Heart – scratchy and tough – working class dontcha know – but was actually none too cheap. Maybe some Cascade 220? Maybe some nice Rowan Harris Tweed? Although I bet Patti wants to keep him in the good stuff – maybe some Cashmere that looks cheap? Yeah right. The thing is, I see Bruce as a designer in the Starmore category. You just know he’s got these unbelievably rugged, romantic fishermen sweater designs locked away in a vault somewhere. (The bootleg patterns can be found online.) What’s the sense of knitting them Bruce, if you’re not going to share them with the world? Another of my no doubts – he’s knitting Dulaan hats and Red Scarves in Peace Fleece all over the place. I bet you he’s even got some Sugar & Cream on the needles as we speak, for a cute little dishcloth. He’s a knitter who cares.

2. Okay, so the People mag gig blew. It need not be a stain on your
psyche – let’s make it a party game. Blind item some dirt you came
across that the mag would never print.

Blew like you wouldn’t believe. I cried every day I went to work there. So much so I took a job at the company I LEFT to go there the first opportunity I got. Seriously, I was on Xanax half the time. That said, there was no good gossip. No, really, I swear. Unless you count a gay Friend. Which, please, that’s been beat to death. I had The Donald’s social security number in my hand one day. And a copy of Kurt Cobain’s death certificate. But I was there during school shootings galore and the ridiculously awful untimely death of Phil Hartman. Plus I was sitting in a back corner on the computer all day. No one talked to me.

The best gossip came after I left when I found out that someone I worked with was having VERY LONG lunches at the gym with people other than the spouse. Very different people. Than the spouse.

I will say this. Those articles you read in The National Inquirer, Star and World Wide Alien? They’re a lot more accurate than people would like you to believe. When they say someone’s on death’s door – trust me – it’s time to get that little black dress out of the closet.

3. Being a January first baby, did you ever suspect that one of your
birthday gifts was a “re-gift” from the prior month’s holidays?

Absolutely not. Or at least none that have made turn my head. We’re Jewish, so we did the Chanukah thing. Chanukah was NOT a big deal in our house – we’re talking socks on night two, pencils night three, underwear night four. I never got underwear for my birthday. If you’re talking friends and the like, I haven’t really gotten many gifts (I know – feel sorry for me) – and the ones I have received have definitely not been re-gifts. On second thought, there were a couple of jewelry gifts from my in-laws that I might have questioned, but it was jewelry so who cares where it comes from right?

Now if you ask me if I got re-gifted stuff when I got married? You betcha.

Thanks Rock Chick! Long live Vedder and The Boss!

You know the drill – if you want questions from me, let me know in the comments. Thanks!