I’m not perfect. (Even if I strive for it at times with an unhealthy force.) I’m human. I can guarantee you that, on a fairly regular basis, I piss off and annoy and sometimes hurt the people that love me and that I love most in this world. So imagine the damage that I can inflict upon the strangers that may stumble upon this blog. I have deliberately chosen to write this blog in an open, intimate way – I’m not sure I could do it another way; that’s how I am in real life – and because of that it may seem to regular readers, and even casual readers, that you know me. The closer you feel to a person, the more you think you know about their life, the easier it is for them to let you down and disappoint. It’s just the way it is.
It’s been suggested that I put myself in someone else’s shoes. I am empathetic to a fault, but the truth of the matter is that I CAN’T put myself in anyone else’s shoes. I can ONLY KNOW my own life. I’ve often said that one of the reasons my marriage is as healthy as it is, is that early on I figured out that people CANNOT read your mind. If you want something from someone – if you’re not getting what you need – you MUST communicate what those needs are! You can’t fault anyone for not giving you what you want if you’ve never told them what it is you need and/or expect. (Now if they don’t deliver after that – or your demands are extraordinary – well – that’s what couples therapy is for.)
Many times I’ve felt myself apologizing to people when I talk about my problems, my pains, my disappointments because they just aren’t as bad or important as war or famine or disease – or whatever horrible thing you or someone else has had to suffer through. My problems surely aren’t as bad as other peoples. But I still have problems. And they’re the only problems I know. And because they’re my problems and I have to live with them every day, I can’t diminish how they make me feel. NEVER APOLOGIZE FOR HOW YOU FEEL. Feelings aren’t rational. They oftentimes come out of nowhere and don’t make any sense whatsoever but they are what they are and there’s nothing you can do about them. If you’ve got a hangnail and it’s making your day as shitty as it possibly could be – THAT IS VALID because you’re having a shitty day. There is no need to feel bad about your shitty day because someone else found out that their loved one is very sick. Or they lost their job. Or their kid is being picked on in school. You can feel for those people, sure, but you can still feel bad for yourself.
I think this is really important. We live in a society that is always comparing things – my tv is bigger than yours. Your house is bigger than mine. My stash blows away your stash. Children are starving – why are you still buying yarn? Size matters. And, honestly, I don’t see anything wrong with a little healthy competition every now and again. But not when it comes to feelings. My feelings are my feelings and I have every right to feel them – whether you think I’m an ass or not – just like you have a right to your wonderful, horrible, gut wrenching, soul soaring feelings. I would never take that away from you. I would never judge your bad day in the face of all the horribleness happening in this world at any given minute of the day.
I think one of the greatest strengths of humans is the inability to really understand other people. It’s our most useful survival mechanism. If we could be in each other’s head – if we could actually feel the pain of others – we’d all be doomed. How could we possibly live with the weight of the world literally on our shoulders? As it is, it’s enough that we have to feel our own pain. And through that pain, we can imagine what other’s might be feeling and show them the compassion we’d want shown to us.
We all know how hard it is to get the people around the us – the people we live with every single day – our partners, our children, our parents, our friends, our co-workers. We SEE them – their body language, their facial expressions, the evidence of the bad hair day, the hang nail, the sore back that makes them moody and belligerant. We HEAR the pain in their voices, the excitement, the pity. We can FEEL their arms around us, the hand on our backs, making us feel that it’s going to be okay. All this and we STILL have trouble understanding what they’re really all about. As great as the Internet is, there is A LOT missing. Honestly, if I had every one of your phone numbers, I’d call you in a heartbeat – way before I returned an email. I NEED that connection. But since that’s not practical (and my husband would plotz at the phone bill) we must make do with this superior, albeit, cold communication. We miss so, so much. We read things wrong all the time. We say the wrong things all the time. I, myself, have hurt people through email and have been hurt through email. I’ve imagined relationships that weren’t really there. I’ve been disappointed, I’ve disappointed. I’ve also found some of my best friendships. A commaraderie that I never imagined I’d find. An understanding I’d never thought I’d realize.
I’m not perfect. I’m human after all. And more than compassion or sympathy or understanding, the one thing I’d like most in this world, the one thing I try very hard to extend (and I fail miserably sometimes) and have extended to me is RESPECT. From respect grows all manners of human kindness.
My Woolee Winder and I have come to a temporary truce.
We’ve decided to start over from a place of respect. I communicated my needs, and it communicated it’s needs and hopefully we’ll have some new yarn to show you on Monday.
As always, I know you have a choice on the Internet. Boundless choices, actually. And I fully understand if you don’t like what you read here. I encourage you to move on and find something new. But if you choose to stick around, I’d ask you to remember – I can’t read your mind. I can’t see your face or hear your voice. I don’t know how you’re feeling and you don’t know how I’m feeling unless I tell you. Most of the time that’s better for all of us. I hope, though, that to the best of your abilities, you will treat my little corner of the internet with respect. And I promise, to the best of my ability, to treat you with respect. I thank you for spending some of your hard-earned time with me and wish you only the best.
L, C
once again, a fabulous post. you’ve (again) articulated what i am only able think (i’m not much of a writer, hence the infrequent de-lurking!) Love visiting your blog, Cara!
Once again, a fabulous post. You’ve (again) articulated what I am only able think (I’m not much of a writer, hence the infrequent de-lurking!) Love visiting your blog, Cara!
I just wanted to tell you that I read your blog regularly, comment rarely, enjoy it regularly, admire your photography, knitting and spinning immensely, and respect you entirely!
Well said! And even if I hadn’t wanted to be your “friend” before, I do now!
Cara, You have beautifully articulated the way I try (sometimes in vain) to live my life and how I wish others lived theirs. Life isn’t a contest so let’s stop competing. Not being much of a writer (we math geeks often aren’t) I boiled down my philosphy to this: “Be nice.” You use the word respect; I think we mean the same thing (at least that’s my interpretation.) Thanks for the rest of the words. Rebecca
Cara – I think you are amazing!!! – I read your blog regularly and you inspire me to knit things I never would have thought about trying. I love your photographs. I am looking forward to the Spin Out in September as you have made me want to learn and see how this wonderful craft is done. Thanks for peaking my curiousity and my yearning to learn. 🙂 Thank you for being you!!!
Hooray for you and your WW for finding a space you could both co-exist in — the fiber on it looks fun, too! Maybe it just wanted some color in its life?
I agree with the rest of your post completely. Most of us cannot solve world hunger, but sometimes talking about it can help us come to grips with other things going on in our lives. I know that I am always pleasantly surprised when I talk about an emotional subject, how many other people the subject resonates with and who want to talk about it, too. Connection to other people is so important, even if the connection is a digital one.
I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: you ROCK. I love your writing, love your photographs, love your knitting, love your “spin” on life. When I have a bunch of my bloglines blogs show up with new posts, I always save yours for last, because it is such a treat.
I’m also de-lurking. This was very well put! Just continue to be yourself. You cannot please everyone and it is YOUR blog! Write what you want, there will always be detractors.
Thanks for your blog!
Well said, m’dear!
Good grief……..don’t let the bastards get you down!! I love your blog. Don’t change a thing!
Wonderfully said. It can be very difficult to remember that we only have our own perspective and that every person has their own thoughts and feelings… and those may be different than our own. We might be open to hear others’ experiences, but it sure is easier when they are presented with respect.
Anyway, there is a lot more I could say, but you’ve pretty much got it covered. I hope you and the WW work some magic this weekend and you have some yarn to show us on Monday!
C-
This might sound a bit weird I know – forgive me – but I’ve been reading and occasionally talking with you for a couple of years and no, I don’t know you more than a tiny bit.
But I’ve developed a lot of respect for how you know yourself, how you define this space and claim your own emotional life.
Best….
thank you for that post. these things need to be said and reminded oftentimes (my version is “no, don’t be that optimistic–not everyone thinks like you!). it amazes me how, no matter how much I try to be vocal or logical or well-thought out, i still have trouble saying things.
i’ve always admired your photo and i thank you for the picture of rainbow roving. it reminds me of the double rainbow i saw after a long day of gardening. now i’m inspired to try spinning again. 🙂
oh man, you are so right!!! I have the unhappy personality trait of feeling other people’s pain like it’s my own, and it’s cost me a LOT personally. And the thing I love best about your blog is how open and honest you are. DON’T CHANGE A THING.
I don’t find this serious and brooding at all, Cara. Well, maybe a little serious — but in a GOOD way. We all need a little serious. Mostly, on occasion, we need to be reminded of exactly what you’ve written about. Well done.
Good goin’ with WW, too. ; )
“But I still have problems. And they’re the only problems I know.” This statement is one that I’ve always subscribed to. Whenever friends tell me that they feel guilty for their own whining or stress, I say this to them, essentially. And I allow myself to experience my own problems to their fullest. The other day my workload doubled, and I was stressed. A friend said “well, i’ve got you beat, I totaled my car.” Once I’d confirmed he was unharmed, I realized that he was completely unwilling to be sympathetic to my situtation, because he was busy competing. I told him I couldn’t talk to him so long as that was the case. Were we both being selfish? Yeah, a bit. And that’s OK.
I was appalled to see the vitriol in the comments from two days ago. Sorry that you had to be on the receiving end of it.
Today, I needed to ‘hear’ those words you wrote. I have not been a good communicator with someone I love of late. Thank you for the reminder that reading my mind is really not possible. And thank you for sharing your world with us. We all can’t see things the same, but we can appreciate the different perspectives.
Beautifully said.
Just wanted to de-lurk, and let you know how much I love reading your blog. Between the changing header pictures, the knitting, and the well-written prose, yours is one of my favorite blogs.
“If you want something from someone – if you’re not getting what you need – you MUST communicate what those needs are!”
I think this is the reason my marriage is so strong and the big thing that is different from all my past relationships. I now trust myself to communicate at a level I didn’t know I was capable of and sometimes still surprise myself with how wonderful it feels to communicate my needs. Thanks for the affirmation.
Cara, I’m probably not going to be able to say this right, but I’ll try anyway. You know that I know what truly hard times are, and I should know better than most not to sweat the small stuff — and yet I still do it sometimes. I think it can even be a way of shutting out the big stuff, if only for a little while.
I believe you have every right to moan about your Woolee Winder or your hangnail or the heartbreak that your coffee got cold before you could drink it. That’s your experience of today, and (let us hope) tomorrow will be different. I think it was Michael Landon who said shortly before he died that everyone should live as if they had terminal cancer, fully immersed in every moment. You have that gift.
When my son was sick and for quite a while afterward people would stop in the middle of telling me about their hangnails and say “but I shouldn’t be complaining to you, after all you’ve been through.” I told them to go ahead, it was their moment, not mine. There are always people better and worse off.
And, Christine, if you’re reading this, I’m so sorry for your loss. I’d be mad too, mad at anything that moved or spoke or blogged. May you find peace and comfort.
Your way of sharing who you are always makes me heart soar. Love you, kiddo. Glad you and the WW are evolving in your relationship. The French kissing must have helped;-)
It’s funny that you write this. I’ve experienced many of the same things that you write about in this entry- mis-reading of posts, hurt feelings of others and my own, people bad mouthing me, etc., etc. As a matter of fact, it forced me to close my blog. I couldn’t deal with the haters. I wouldn’t want to be around them in “real” life, and I certainly don’t want them to be a part of my virtual life.
I’m sorry that you had to find out how it feels to be flamed virtually. Hopefully it will cause you and your friends/readers to have more empathy for others who are in that very situation.
I just wanted to tell you that I truly appreciate the effort and heart you put into your writing. You are a true inspiration.
Wow, Cara. Very well said. Like the other lurkers who’ve commented so far, I highly respect both what you knit and what you say.
You are showing the true strenght of your character and convictions by writing this post. You share so much of yourself and the life you are living; that takes great courage. I count myself one of the lucky ones to have been able to share a conversation, a laugh, applaud your FO and spinning, in person. You are special.
A big round of applause to you. It is your blog you can say what you want. If someone doesn’t like what you have to say then they don’t have to read it. I don’t think that someone is holding them down with their eyes open making them read it.
Dear Cara, I haven’t kept up on the blog or with the comments, so I have no background, but I appreciate the clarity of your thought processes about feelings and about how difficult it is to put yourself on the line without seeing/hearing/knowing your audience. Courage, and keep writing.
And also, WHAT IS THAT SPECTACULAR ROVING YOU ARE SPINNING? WOW!
First off, I LOVE your CPH.
Secondly, I’ve been learning the hard way about communication and relationships. Communicating needs/wants has never been easy for me, but I’m getting better at it everyday. Respect is definitely the focal point, everything else should fall into place from there (I hope!).
First off, I LOVE your CPH.
Secondly, I’ve been learning the hard way about communication and relationships. Communicating needs/wants has never been easy for me, but I’m getting better at it everyday. Respect is definitely the focal point, everything else should fall into place from there (I hope!).
Cara,
Well written post on a timely subject. (I think this particular topic is one that we all struggle with). I am a firm believer that if you don’t like something then you have a choice. People make the choice of which blogs they read, what they wear, eat, read, watch etc. If someone doesn’t like what they read then they should not read it. You are not “forcing them” and if there is a comment made, well I think that person should realize that they are a reader of your life. They choose to read your blog. You have not asked them to. So instead of being a snot they should just move on. Its like people who leave anonymous messages. That really bugs me. If you don’t have the guts to put your name to your words then you shouldn’t speak them in any form BECAUSE you know that they are not nice. (unless of course its that secret knitting goddess who is warning you that something good is coming your way!!)
Wow. Okay I am ranting a bit. I am huge on Respect also. Its like people with the new Interweave. If you don’t like the format then write them. Don’t sit around lamenting about it and hope that the publishers can read your mind. Don’t bitch about the government if you don’t vote. etc etc etc.
Ok. I’m stepping down off of the box.
I’m glad that Woolee has made the choice of a truce with you. I really do love mine. I get so much more yarn on the bobbin.
I really appreciate this entry. It states many of the things I feel I’ve only learned recently, which all people really should know but usually don’t.
Thanks, as always, for your refreshing honesty in this post. You always show such grace and respect to your readers, and you deserve the same from us.
Your blog is a bright spot in so many people’s lives! Never forget that!
and have a great weekend, girlie!
xoxo, Carrie
Amen, Cara!
Respect and communication are the key ingredients to relationships, and sorely lacking, it seems, in today’s society.
It’s not about walking in someone else’s shoes, it’s about respecting the fact that their shoes may be too tight and asking them if they need to kick them off, sit down and have a cup ‘o joe.
I’m so glad that January One is a place that I can do so and spend a bit of time from my day to “listen” to someone who calls a spade a spade.
Cara, you’ve caught it exactly. We CAN’T know what’s going on in other people’s heads, and a good thing too, or we’d probably go insane. I’ve learned to tell my husband in words what I want, and why I’m cranky when I am, because he can’t read my mind and he needs to understand what I want or need. He says, very sensibly, not to hint (or expect him to read my mind) because he won’t get it. My mom had to learn to do this through therapy. She passed the wisdom on to me and I’m really much happier because of it.
People are entitled to their feelings. Period. We all have problems and they will affect us. Sharing it with others, whether on blogs, on the phone or in person, can help make it better and more bearable. Please don’t stop sharing with us.
People project their own personalities over what they read. We understand and assume this for visual arts, which leads us to as questions such as “What do you see in this picture?”, but we sometimes forget this fact when it comes to what we read.
Wow, this blog is well-timed for my personal life as well. Thank you, Cara.
Well said and very straight forward. You go, Cara.
Beautifully written Cara. Seems you know one of the secrets to long marriage. I don’t usually read other’s comments, it causes my own thoughts to scramble, so I hope someone didn’t get nasty. Like you said, if offended, leave. If our moms ran the internet, we’d be chanting the “old” phrase: If you’ve nothing nice to say, then you can just go away. Sorry, I get silly on Fridays.
Yes, very well said. Personally, I started reading your blogs for the knitting, learned to spin and read on for that too, and Cara The Person snuck into my interest too. I like her quite a bit. 🙂
When given the chance to present oneself in any light to an audience or readership, it is most interesting when a person doesn’t “brush off the dirt,” as it may be. I don’t want to get to know a plastic, chipper, sitcom character; I want to read about a three-dimensional person, who laughs and crys and rants (and knits and spins!) Thanks for being real!
Cara, well stated! Today’s post really spoke to me. I am horrible about asking for what it is I need and I feel that I am constantly feeling bad about the way I feel. What a kick in the ass this was for me today…thank you.
Oh, forgot to add: The spinning looks great! Glad ol’ WW is cooperating with you now.
Very classy. Thanks.
well said Cara. very well said. i get frustated all the time that sometimes the tone in what you write is misheard or mis read… glad you and the ww are “communicating”.
Well said! I read your blog because you are a very open and honest person. I’ve frequently been inspired by your writing and your knitting projects! You are a kind and generous person and I respect you with all my heart. I have frequently been moved by your story with G; it’s very similar to my story with my husband. Keep writing and say whatever the hell you want to!
It’s about time someone said it out loud. Not that I thought you had to explain yourself or defend your position in the first place. If you can’t use this — your little personal corner of the cyberworld — to get out whatever’s in your head in the first place, then something’s wrong. We can comment or not, but should accept unquestioningly that we are but guests here.
You’re a classy lady, Cara.
Thanks. I keep trying to tell myself that, but it’s taking a while to sink in.
Also, I love the brightness of your new yarn.
(This is me de-lurking)
I can’t agree with you more. I especially felt that little stab of recognition when I read the bit about imagining relationships that weren’t really there. I’ve had that experience recently with an email friend. And no amount of wishing that she had asked me my side of it will help. Be yourself and be true to yourself. And thank you for your blog – it is one of the highlights of my bloglines list.
Bravo! I don’t know what the source of this was, obviously something painful to you. It’s usually the bad things that get us to think and help us cross that bridge from anger to understanding.
You have a wonderful, powerful way with words (this from a former college English prof). And an even better way of telling someone, oh so very gently, to fuck off and change the channel if they didn’t like what they were seeing. Brava, Brava, Brava. I have read your blog for months now, and truly do think of you as an e-friend of sorts. And I regularly call my husband up to the computer to insist he gush over your photography.
And oh my great aunt Minnie, what is that roving!!! I need some, with every fibre (!!) of my being!!!!
Today I needed a reminder that it was ok to feel what I feel. Thank you for that.
You read what was in my mind today. I was just talking to someone about how I can’t know how they feel unless they tell me, and that if I’m making them mad, they have to say it!! I can’t read their minds!
Thank you for having a thoughtful, entertaining and beautiful blog. I enjoy reading it.
I’m a little late saying this, but your CPH turned out great. I really appreciate your comments about the yarn used. I’ve had their color cards for a few months but haven’t ordered yet. Now, I won’t hesitate.
The new yarn-in-progress looks great!
And that, my friend, is why I love you. I’ve had the apologies, too, that someone’s little bad day is nothing compared to the 5 and a half metal clips to the inch I was sporting a few months ago, but that little bad day is just as important for me to hear as my fabbo knit-up job was for me to tell.
And from the queen of “I can do it all myself,” thank you for reminding me that I can’t, and that maybe a little more communication of that fact to interested (or clueless…depends on the day) parties would go a long way 🙂
Well done. Well said. I couldn’t agree with you more. About all of it. While I only know you through reading your blog, I really admire the courage it takes to share yourself so openly. Thank you for sharing the artistry of your photography and knitting with us (which is all beautiful and inspiring, btw). And thank you for sharing some pieces of your personal life, thoughts and opinions. It is risky to be so open in this medium. But being open and taking risks is a wonderful way to live. Even though it’s not always fun. Sending fond thoughts your way.
Thanks for the post.
C – you are so much more honest and open than I could ever be. Your site is so inspirational to me. I hope you weren’t too hurt by the negativity. I think the Yarn Harlot put it best when she said that your blog is like a living room – treat others like you would if you were visiting together in their living room. Peace.
You are very articulate. And you have voiced what I was feeling this morning. Well said. And thank you….
While I agree wholeheartedly with what you said, I do think our internet community and the openness, the glimpse into others’ lives, that is shared is helpful in keeping one’s hangnails in perspective. Example: I’d written a long post about our stupid drain trap and how it wasn’t up to code and was going to cost us $700 and how our house was just one thing after another it seemed. A ranting post, to be sure. And that’s fine. But when I returned from lunch, I deleted my post. I realized that I was (a) lucky to have a house and (b) lucky to have the $700 for the repair. In this particular case, I thought about you and what you were going through at that point in time – you were waiting to find out if your husband had cancer. I felt my post was trivial and so I deleted it because there ARE many things more important and life altering than a not-to-spec drain trap in an old house. I’m not saying that we shouldn’t blog about our daily trials and tribulations, sometimes those are the posts we can relate to the most because we are all human, afterall. I personally am grateful for your openness in posts both big and small; I enjoy reading your blog and will continue to do so.
jesus, i always wonder what provokes people to leave nasty comments on other people’s blogs. i hadn’t read christine’s comments yesterday so didn’t even see this post coming! and i have to say that you said it well, but it’s a shame that it had to be said at all. it’s YOUR darn blog! everyone has a right to express their own opinion. if christine didn’t like what she read, that’s her clue to start her own blog and rant and rave all she wants. doing it in your comments is just rude. ugh.
on another note, that’s some pretty cool yarn you’re spinning up! so colorful!
Delurking to say hooray for marriages without mind-reading! This is also my policy, and it stops half our fights in their tracks. Say it like it is – vulnerability carries inherent risks, but the payoff (especially in marriage, but for blogs as well, I suppose) is phenomenal!
What a way with words you have. I hear you on so many different levels, but just love the way you explain it. Everyone’s feelings are valid, if you don’t agree, don’t read here. You can go to your own site and say what you want, but it’s just not cool to do it on someone’s site. Everyone has their own pain and problems….I try to remember that and that the people I meet and deal with have NO IDEA what I’ve been through and dealt with so if I want to complain about a hangnail, I will. They don’t have to listen to me….
Love your CPH and love your yarn! I have no idea what a Woolee Winder is, I’m a new spinner, but would love to hear about you visit to my island last night! Smithtown is way too far west for me!
Respect. I read your blog regularly, but don’t usually comment or even read comments. Yesterday I did browse the comments to see if there was much interest in your Woolee Winder. I was astonished at what I read there. I’m all about respect and personal responsibility, thanks for this beautifully articulated post.
On a side note my Woolee Winder was waiting on the porch when I got home last night. I was expecting a much longer wait after reading about your experience, so I’m pleased and I’ll remember to be patient with it. 😉 Now if only I could find the USB cable for my camera I could actually post pictures to my blog again…
Keep up the good work!
My thoughts exactly! I like your style, Cara. If I didn’t, I wouldn’t keep coming back to your corner of the internet. 🙂 Have fun with the WW and your love this weekend.
So true, Cara. I get so wrapped up in that thought of carrying the world on my shoulders (and the guilt that it carries with it as well) sometimes and it’s truly refreshing to just take a step back and realize that everyone is going through the same things. Perhaps not in the same manifestations, but we are all, after all, humans, and people experience joy, grief, suffering and loss whether they live in Zimbabwe or Staten Island. Feelings aren’t rational; my husband could verify that I’m a very irrational person lately.
I feel that Christine could have made a more respectful original comment. I’m sorry for her loss and the difficulty of raising her children alone. Having four of our own, I can’t imagine how painful that is for her. That being said, life goes on around us even when we can’t keep up. Having experienced loss of my own, I remember the world standing still for me and not understanding how everyone else could just go about their lives when mine was falling apart. Perhaps that’s where she is right now.
Thanks for the reminder about respect, Cara. It’s a much missing element of our society right now. ANd as always, I will visit you here in your corner of blogland.
food for thought.
no harm, no foul. words are words.
communication, while a great idea, can still go terribly wrong with piss poor execution.
Well said.
To an ant, a grain of sand is huge. To the universe, a galaxy is tiny. It’s all relative. People bash themselves enough for their feelings, no need for anyone else to help.
I’m sorry you got flamed yesterday. The rest of us faceless, unknown readers were interested to hear what you had to say. I like to show up for the photos even if there isn’t a new post.
Ditto to Tan, and to everyone else who said that. I don’t know what the flamer said, but there was no reason for it.
Just like you said: you have every right to your feelings.
Well said…and is it me…but every time I see WW I think Weight Watchers. 🙂
I’m going to go out on a limb and guess that you have caught some online static lately rather than merely posting about something so very universal. I’m sorry for the unpleasantness you have experienced. I hope those who have not grasped the concepts of which you have written or maybe just need to brush up on the life lessons are helped by this post. Truly, there are times we all need reminders of things we think we have already learned well. I know that the subject of feelings is complex. Our feelings are valid. We feel what we feel. It is also true, as you have pointed out, that feelings are not always rational. Accepting and acknowledging our feelings and tempering this with the fact that they are not necessarily reality-based is a difficult balance to strike. It is part and parcel of life’s journey.
I just wanted to say that if you can’t say what you want to say on your own blog, where can you? You really shared an interesting perspective and gave a lot of food for thought here, thank you for that.
Everyone has choices to make, in regard to the blogosphere, I choose to read your blog (because I LOVE it). I enjoy your posts and I like that you let your readers into your life, good times and bad. It’s your blog and your life, I agree…you don’t owe anyone an apology for any of it (well, there was that silly copyright issue a while back, but you know of what I speak). Knit, spin and rock on!
I love that roving! I can’t wait to see it finished being spun.
Cara you’ll have to face it, as the ‘cliche’ says you can only please all of the people some of the time and some of the people all of the time. 🙂
Of course I had to go back and see what all the hoopla was about. Strange how someone can just be having such a crappy day that they feel the need to be hateful to others. Maybe they have such a crappy life. But my god, how can she …. whatever. It doesn’t matter. I can’t analyze that lady with all the problems. We can list out or MAKE UP any problem or whatever and say it’s ours and say we’re worse off than someone who doesn’t get along with their spinning wheel. If she’s so sad and bad off she needs to have the balls (or more politely, courage) to put her blog or email address on there so we can WRITE HER and say “don’t go off on our friend” or say “wow, so sorry – what in the world can we do to help you out?” In the knitting world all it takes is one tiny plea and you’ve got help from more people than you can even count.
Just keep on Cara. I’m just one in a sea of voices saying Just keep on being yourself and the sad sorry person who doesn’t know how to say something nice will keep on being herself.
xoxox
Today being another day … How was the Guild meeting? I’d love to hear what/who you saw and learned and taught in the spirit of open exchange.
Very well said. Enough so that I have **de-lurked!** to say that I love reading your blog – have done so for a while now. Love all the stuff you knit – the knee highs, the CPH, the log cabins….
Your stories and photos provide a nice distraction, especially when I’m consumed with my problems.
Very well said. I’ve always enjoyed reading your posts and I really agree with this one. I think the anonymity of the internet sometimes fosters unnecessary flaming – people sometimes say things they would never say to someone’s face. No one should ever be put down for their troubles not being as big as someone else’s – they’re affecting you and they’re real to you and that’s what counts. If the empathy gun from Hitchhiker’s Guide existed we’d all be horribly depressed.
Thanks for the stories (and the fabulous pictures!)
You are one classy chick. And smart too. Rock on C!
Thanks for sharing your corner of the internet with us, especially the pictures.
I laughed pretty hard one day when the Yarn Harlot said something about coming to your site and hitting refresh just to see the banner picture. I have done that too. Your pictures are awesome. (sorry if it screws with your hit counter)
Thanks for the post and the picture today.
Cara,I love your blog. That’s all.
Cara, you are a blogging Goddess … well said, my friend. 🙂
Hi, Cara…. my first comment. It is a strange, off-balance relationship we have, since I do feel like we’re good friends, and you have never heard of me! Blogs are great for making you feel in touch with people who are total strangers, and who only reveal what they want to.
I’ve greatly enjoyed your mixture of personal and fibre content. But when I went to Rhinebeck and saw all of you “knit-bloggers” together, I felt like the little kid who wasn’t allowed to sit at the cool people’s lunch table! I came home feeling that in the real world I was very isolated and left out by people who I felt (irrationally, I know!) were my good friends! Sometimes the contrast between the virtual world and the real one is confusing.
I know the only way to make contact is to make the communication work both ways, which explains why I decided it was time to comment. Thanks for making me think about my knitting and my life in so many different ways.
Goodness, goodness, goodness, isn’t this YOUR blog? Hmm, I guess I read your rant about the WW the wrong way, I thought you said YOU were having issues with it. I thought you said YOU and the WW needed to come to an agreement or meeting of the minds or something. I didn’t think you said anyone else would have issues with it. Hmm, may have to go back and see if I need to adjust my thinking. Nah, don’t think so.
I rarely comment, but I do enjoy reading your blog. I missed you when you were having your vacation, but after November and December really figured you two should have your time. You are, afterall, committed to each other, you are not committed to us, your readers.
A few years back, my brother’s mother-in-law, our aunt and our step father all died of various forms of cancer in a six month span, I have some understanding of what you went through, and was thrilled your (G’s) outcome was so different. I worried and prayed for you when it was happening, and celebrated for you at the end. You have handled all with dignity (at least on the blog) Anyone who chooses to spew at you for your blog…send them my way… I rarely read the comments left, I figure those are yours. It would be nice if people remembered what Thumper’s Mom taught him, ‘if you don’t have something nice to say, don’t say nothin’ at all.’ Last I checked, no one was forcing me to read your blog, I would think it would be the same for others…
You go, Cara. This is your blog. I enjoy reading your thoughts and hear about what’s going on in your life. Don’t let trolls get you down.
Cara,
You are a class act, as always. Thank you for your thoughtful words.
Here is a definition of that blurry line for you. I don’t have enough time to spin *and* knit, so I don’t spin at this time. I read your post yesterday and didn’t really understand it so I moved on without even looking at the comments. I wasn’t offended that it wasn’t something *for me.*
Today, when I read your post and I looked back at the comments from yesterday, I was so righteously indignant on your behalf, I had to leave the office and take a walk to calm down.
I don’t even really know you. And you certainly don’t know me. I, like Barbara H., saw you at Rhinebeck and realized that while I felt that you were part of my life, you didn’t know I existed.
Cara, I love that you’re REAL. Don’t ever change that.
i was going to let this go, since if i felt this strongly about it, i could write about it myself, but i feel the need to speak up since the people for whom it is intended, wouldn’t have read it.
my words have nothing to do with your post cara. i agree with everything that you wrote. and even if i hadn’t. it’s your blog. and you should write about whatever it is you feel like writing about. and if people don’t like it they can move on.
i too wondered what all of the bro-haha was about and i went and looked at the comments from the other day. and when i read christine’s comments, although unnecessarily rude to you cara, my heart still went out to her. her pain must be so huge.
i’m disappointed in how some of the commenters to this post have responded. please, put yourself in this woman’s shoes for just a moment. there’s no need to trash her in order to show your solidarity for cara. a “great post, cara, etc.” would have been sufficient.
cara, i apologize for using your comment area to step on my soapbox. i promise not to do it again.
Cara, I read your blog every day that I’m at the computer along with Vicki’s and Stephanie’s and Laurie’s and several others. Then I try to keep up with everyone else. You are part of my life–a pie piece, a portion, but a loved part because I give your blog part of my daily allowance of time. Thanks for sharing part of yourself with me.
People do take things personally don’t they? I recently read Tom Colicchio’s blog for Top Chef. The blog was fine but the comments… Some were vitriolic. It amazes me that people have the time and the energy to post such things. I found myself wondering if Tom was horrified or merely resigned. I often think I should preface my blog: Enter At Your Own Risk. After all, no one is forced to read our work. Anyway, keep the faith.
Cara, I love to read your blog. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and experiences with honesty and candor (and humor). I can’t wait to see your finished yarn! It looks gorgeous!
Cara,
Don’t ever apologize for being who you are. I love your blog, read it regularly, don’t comment all that often but love it just the same especially your photography. Keep doing what you do 🙂
Tawana
Cara, This is a knitting blog. It is *your* knitting blog. I read it because I like the things you write about, the way you write, the wonderful relationship with your G that you are willing to share–bravely (she said, blogless since she’s not willing to put as much of herself out there) with the rest of us, the beautiful pohots, the knitted projects. Anyone who doesn’t like it can stop reading. The rest of us will keep returning, delighted that you take the risk of sharing yourself with anyone who comes your way.
Flamers suck. Wait, is that flaming? 😉 Well said, Cara. Good for you – you are totally right on here. I’ve had my share of flamers on my blog, and in the end you just have to throw up your hands and say “Okay, whatever.”
We only met briefly once, at Rhinebeck, but I do feel like I know you from what you’ve written? And the person who has written all of this? I like her very much. Keep on doing what you’re doing – it’s right for you and in the end, that’s all that matters.
Clara, your blog is amazing – you have a wonderful way with words. I’m de-lurking to add my support, and thank you for giving me such a lift when I read your blog and admire your photos.
Sweetie, I learned, ironically from family, that I could never please all of the people all of the time. Part of the reason why my sister and I blog under fake names is because we are paranoid that our mother would find us out and misconstrue something that we say. That and Lola and Ava are so much cooler than Erika and Jill (there, I said it . . . find us, Mom!). Suffice it to say, I often feel that what I do (being a teacher) will never be enough for my mom when she brings up my brother (who wants to be a lawyer) because she always thought that he would flip out and kill her one day. You are responsible for one person’s feelings and thoughts . . . your own. I cannot make my husband understand me if I don’t tell him. Do you know how many times I hear, “Are you mad at me?” when I am just really, really tired? Daily!
Put your feet up, grab a chocolate (or beer or glass of wine), and cast on.
I missed the hurtful comments and I don’t need to go dig them up.
Thank-you for the honesty you share with us with each post. You have shown me a lot of truth and courage. It has especially been helpful this week as I sat with my husband after his stroke.
I have to say that I felt it was normal to rant and to hug and to go through any emotions that came my way because you have modelled them with grace and honesty.
I’ll join the alto section of this choir!
Your posts always brighten my day, it’s true, even when they’re about something that I don’t do/haven’t yet done. I’m sure, well, I HOPE, that by now you see the happiness people derive from reading your lovely words on your beautiful site.
This reminds me of a communications class I once took, and forgive me for forgetting who said what I’m about to reeeeeeeeeeally horribly paraphrase: Nothing can be communicated, and even if it can, there’s no way to know if the other person understands. And even if they do, there’s no way for them to communicate their understanding. So on and so forth. Or, as the Diggable Plants sing, we’re just babies, we’re just babies, man!
I appreciate you.
I thoroughly enjoy your blog and your knitting. enough said…
Well, I thought of like 1005 things to say and decided on this one: that’s some beautiful yarn you’re spinning there!!! I haven’t gotten into spinning (yet. “Sadly” I’ve met some enablers in real life! 🙂 ) I’d always been able to convince myself spinning was too hard to do, until I saw it in person…
Cara, keep on keepin’ on. I love coming here every day.
The rule at my house: Be nice, or be quiet.
I tell my kids every day that it’s OK to feel crappy. Feelings are never wrong. It’s NEVER OK, though, to inflict damage on someone else by being mean and nasty on purpose.
Hi Cara,
I think you have a lovely blog, and I really appreciate how open your talk is about your emotions. It’s something I’ve been learning to do, and if I were a blogger I think I would try to be open and honest too. Reading about your struggles helps me to not feel so alone.
PS – I LOVE how the Woolie Winder laid out the colors of the yarn you spun!
Wow – I don’t know what the hell inspired this post, but I (and the rest of the commenters, it seems) totally appreciate your articulate posts and candid perspective. I don’t comment here very much, but I read regularly and always find myself nodding at my screen, saying “Oh yeah – I totally get that” to myself.
I’ll tell you the one thing you’ve said that really stuck with me – “I don’t knit for charity, and I don’t feel guilty about it.” For a long time I felt obligated to knit for everyone I knew, and since I couldn’t do that (of course), I always felt guilty about it. I felt so vindicated (absolved?!) when I read your thoughts on knitters’ guilt. My knitting is for me, and I decide how I’ll spend that time. Cara – I’m the decider! Heh heh heh…anyway – thanks.
I usually lurk but this post was so timely. I’m not going to go into the specifics of why this helped, but it did. Thanks.
Well said. I know all I need to know, and I knew it before you posted this. You’ve always got a pal over at chez MOW. xox, J
Cara, your post was thoughtful and well-articulated. I very much appreciate that you responded to the posts with a far greater level of respect than you received. The openness of your writing is one of the many reasons that I currently, and will continue, to read your blog.
Christine, I’m very sorry for the pain you’re going through.
Wow, I had to look back to see what prompted such a post. A tirade in someones blog comments is quite surprising, even with one of the “popular” blogs, I was quite stunned. But your post was rather eloquent, honest and forthright, nice to read and well said.
As for the Woolee Winder, *obviously* it just took a good dose of mutual respect and some wildly happy roving to pave a new relationship! 🙂 Hope you enjoy both the yarn and the spinning. Is it the winter thing? I just started spinning for a sweater in crazy happy colors like that myself, you have great taste 😉
Cara,
Thank you for writing these words, today! It is just exactly what I needed to read at the end of a really tough day / week. Reading this has helped me to think about things differently.
Very insightful post! I agree that respect for one another is so important. A person needs to feel whatever it is they are feeling – and those feelings are so real to them that we must try not to belittle their feelings. You are an excellent writer and said this much beter than I can.
Word.
looks lovely! you know i’ve not used my WW in almost a year. eegads! i sat down the other day to mess with it and found out i’m happier spinning without it. weird how your preferences can change!
hey love, you are my favorite non perfect human ever.
hugs, hugs, hugs.
Okay – that’s it! I am a lurker, happily lurking here reading your blog almost daily. It is informative – I never would have thought to knit my CP Hoodie in one piece, Socks that Rock yarn and sock club – WOW! and funny and even touching. Please don’t let someone change this site in any way. I appreciate your honesty and we have all have feelings. My Mom always said to let the words roll off you like a ducks ass (I think she was getting 2 saying mixed up) but you get it. Here’s a smile and hug for you.
All I have to say….Amen Sister!
Just wanted to join the other delurkers to say that I love reading your blog…it’s so sad that sometimes people feel the need to lash out at perfect strangers… Your writing and photography are inspirational – I’m working on a STR heavyweight log cabin blanket now.
Thank you for this thought-provoking post. it’s made me realise a few things about internet ‘friendships’. I read your post almost obsessively, I probably check it most days because I enoy your writing style, your openness and your fantastic photos. You inspire me to try new things in knitting that I wouldn’t have done otherwise. Because you are so open, I tend to feel like I know you – but that isn’t the case. For starters, you don’t know much about me, even if you’ve read my blog, cos I’m so pitifully lazy at posting, but also: on a blog, we can only read what you choose to write. It may or may not be a true reflection of you and your personality, and we will never know unless we meet you and get to know you in person, but I would just like to say that, judging from your blog alone, i think you are an amazing person and I definitely respect you and would love to be your friend.
I read your blog every single day, whether you write or not. Your good days, your bad days. You don’t know me, I don’t know you, but I’m happy you do write and share so much of your life with us. I still have not learned to do that, or I am just not comfortable sharing as you do. You have a fabulous blog, your photos, knitting, enthusiasm. Don’t every stop.
What can I say that hasn’t been said in the hundred-plus comments before me?! I don’t know what triggered this post, but AMEN! to everything you said. (And said very well, I might add.)
I think when people have extremely opposite personalities there is a huge potential for misunderstandings, resulting in anything from hurt feelings to all-out war. Personally, I tend to be meek and shy, and apologetic about my feelings. One of the reasons I LOVE your blog so much is that you speak your mind in a way I wish I could, but in a way that is not hurtful or disrespectful to others. (You also knit in a way that I wish I could!) So I, for one, am glad to hear you won’t be changing anytime soon!! I say you go, girl!!
i think you hit the nail right on the head. i enjoy reading your blog. every day sometimes a few times aday i check for updates. keep up the good work.
Delurking to tell you that I enjoy your blog, and read it all the time. You are very inspiring and funny – so please keep it coming! I have to ask – what roving is that? Its beautiful.
hey Cara,
Wanted to add my 5 cents. I really enjoy all of your posts, I like reading about other people’s daily struggles because it makes me feel like less of a loser when I get bent out of shape over, say a hangnail. I’m a med student, and really interested in medicine for people who can’t afford health insurance and international medicine. I find that it is SO easy to get caught in a guilty mindsent when things in my life aren’t going so well. I really appreciate your point of view on that, and totally agree. Sometimes I DO have a rotten day because I got a flat tire or something, and it is still rotten even if there are a bazillion people who have never had a visit with a primary care doctor (the thought of that alone is enough to als ruin a day for me!). Anyhow, this is somewhat garbled, but I’m trying to say thanks for your blog in general and your post specifically! And I always love the goregous photos on the top!!! Keep up the good work.
Well, dear Cara, I for one, am very sorry that the rude individuals who cannot tolerate differences of opinion and different views upset you so badly. You have a wonderful blog. I learn all sorts of very useful information from it because you are generous about sharing. And you are wonderfully creative. It is a free country and it is YOUR blog, so put on your kevlar vest and keep up the fantastic writing. The vast majority of us thank you for it!
Well, I have no idea what that was in reference to, but what a lovely post! I think your honesty, perspective, and enthusiasm are big reasons why we all keep coming back.
(And congratulations on the woolee winder truce!!! Those colors look very happy.)
I got my first ever inflammatory comment yesterday, so your post couldn’t have come at a better time for me. Thanks so much for taking the time to remind folks to just walk away.
I got my first ever inflammatory comment yesterday, so your post couldn’t have come at a better time for me. Thanks so much for taking the time to remind folks to just walk away.
Ironically, sometimes the big stuff is dealt with better in life. The hangnails will nag you to death while the catastrophes you know you just have to let go. Sorry if there are mean people reading your blog. Yea for new yarn.
cara! beautiful spinning. the woolee winder is wonderful, YES? your spinning will be wonderful and even. you inspire me every time i go to your blog. keep up the great work.
did you see SWTC…sock club. tell blue moon.
i have a friend who does this to me all the time. if i complain about something i’m going through, she tells me about what she had to deal with and finishes with “so my situation is so much worse than yours” it makes me crazy! i think i’m going to send her a link to this post.
This was a really good post. Very well put. I’ve been thinking about some of these issues and you verbalized my feelings very well.
Ummm…ditto what most people said. Well put. You have a gift for expressing your thoughts and feelings. Some of us have a much harder time putting our thoughts into words (and, even harder time putting them in writing).
Thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings and experiences (and awesome knitting and pictures!) with us! 🙂
Just so you know, you have never upset me. Made me think, question, laugh, cry and aspire to be a better knitter, yes. Upset me, no. People have a choice of what to read, including what’s in comments, and that’s that. As for me, I’ll keep reading you!
I love your blog & look forward to every new post. I’ve referred several posts to my children, in particular the one about changing your mind about grad school. You truly sound like someone I’d love to meet in person. You seem to feel deeply and wholeheartedly and unashamedly. God bless you!
I think Christine was just having a very bad day. Someone who can’t leave a way to contact them – no email, no website – is just a troll. A little brat seeking attention. Don’t even respond to them. Just delete their comment.
I didn’t think your post about the WW thingie was slamming the product, you were just writing about your own frustrating experience with it. Just out of curiosity, what exactly is it? Do I need one?
I like how you write from the heart, and about your feelings. Just keep writing.
Oh my goodness. The whole idea of the need to even write this post makes me so sad. This is about the 4th or 5th “incident” where someone feels the need to lash out at a blogger over something they have stated in THEIR OWN PERSONAL BLOG!!! Why is it that society has come to a point where a person can not voice their feeling without being subjected to insults and ugliness.
I understand that someone felt they were defending a friend or someone they know however, it’s not as if you went out on a mission to ruin a company. You had a bad experience with a product. You were venting said bad experience. Y’know what? It happens. It happens to big companies and to small companies. It happens to companies that employ hundreds of thousands of people and it happens to one-person companies.
It is your right to speak on your own experiences. If you don’t agree with that, I can understand trying to enlighten you to the circumstances (a once man show) BUT there is no need to berate you on what your experience was. I’m sure that you paid an extremely fair price for you WW and you were expecting a certain level of service with your purchase price. It is NEVER acceptable to have a delayed shipment of an item without responding to a customers letters or complaints. That is simple customer service.
I am sure had said “one man show” ever responded to you with any sort of explanation, your anger/frustration would have been defused and your experience would have been completely different.
With regard to lashing out at you in your comments on your own personal blog, WTF???? I don’t understand the need for people to be so blatantly ugly. She could have explained her knowledge of the company without lowering to insulting and attempting to demean you.
I feel for this person as she is clearly having a difficult time but lashing out at another human being over the hardships in your own life is never the right thing to do. No one is making anyone read this blog and if she felt strong enough she could have always directed the ‘one man show’ to your post and let him decide whether or not he needed rescuing. I just HATE when people are ugly o people period let alone on their own personal weblogs.
Just play nice or move on.
i haven’t seen what has come before, but i must say from reading this post, you are one wonderful person and this is an engaging, well written blog.. what a joy!
you are a real person. how nice!
What happened?
Screw ’em.
I enjoy your blog because you are so open and willing to say pretty much anything. I admire that. Keep on truckin’.
Well, clearly I missed something… but I agree with your post (too.) And hope that the dishonest/namby-pamby I-don’t-want-to-hear-anything-but-MY-truth folks get buried in an avalanche of Brad Blanton’s book: Radical Honesty.
You’d think the golden rule would apply to ALL and be reciprocal, wouldn’t you?
did anyone ever tell you that you are the bomb!
as long as you keep writing…i’ll keep reading!
Keep writing, and I’ll keep reading. I love the way your brain works and your thoughts are expressed. 😉
I went back and read the comment that was the impetus for this post and was taken aback.
The funny thing about writing is that you can never complete get the tone of what someone means. The whole non-verbal side of the communication is missing.
Maybe I’m wrong, but I took your “tirade” against the WW as a bit tounge in cheek because you were very frustrated. We all have those moments.
Thank you for yet another eloquent, from the heart post that we have all come to enjoy.
I look forward to reading your blog each day-thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts, on knitting and life.
Knowing you the way that I do, I know that there is no “high horse” here, only a genuine person…who I have enjoyed getting to know.
It’s so sad when people choose to be purposely hurtful in a public forum 🙁
Please don’t every shut up….you are a breath of fresh air 🙂
Amen! Hallelujah! and Well Said! You have a great blog. I don’t get here every time you post, but try to read you regularly. I see by the number of posts that a LOT of others enjoy your blog (and you one would think by extension) very much! I rarely comment because there are always so many. But today, well, 144 seemed like such an even round lovely number I almost didn’t again, but 145 is ok too, eh? Yeah, tone in typeface is tough. I agree with you about feelings and all, (here’s the but), but when I find myself wallowing in them, then I look for perspective. It seems to help to have had the feeling, experience it, then to move on. Keep it up!!
Cara, I have been thinking and thinking on this since I read it the other day. I did not want to comment off the cuff without a good think! 🙂
It astounds me that some people feel the need to be so rude to other people. Being anonymous does not give the right to blast people. I have just about had it with people who read your (or my) words and then attack. You did nothing “wrong”. Your words are your own. We are free to read them or not. Accept them or move on. This is not rocket science. It is life.
(and as an aside: if one more person says they feel “left out” like high school in the blogs I may blow a gasket!)
🙂
I love ya!
xoxoxoxo
love. Don’t make me gush again. Cuz I’ll do it!
😀
I am a complete lurker, but I had to come out of hiding to say that this was a beautiful entry, and demonstrates exactly why I read your blog. I love all the fiber content, but more than that, I appreciate your honesty and insight. So thanks, Cara. What you are doing matters to a lot of people.
Cara, congratulations on practicing what you preach: respect! Your openness is one reason your blog is so compelling to so many people (like me). Reading Christine’s comments made me think about the 5 stages of grief. Anger is only #2 so she’s got a long way to go. You showed a lot of respect (not to mention class) by not flaming her back. So congratulations for taking the moral high road.
It’s been said so well, by so many people before me, that I won’t try to elaborate or improve. What I can do is tell you that I think you’re a grand soul, Cara.
(Another de-lurker)
As a non-blogger I very much admire people who can write so well that I feel as though I know them.
Thank you for sharing your feelings, good and bad, with the rest of us!
(stands up and applauds)
(nods head slowly and reflectively with admiration)
Also noting this is slightly ironic since you had a chance to flame me when on my blog in one of my posts I linked to your blog because I think it’s so cool and then in the following paragraph ranted about idiots with plastic surgery- inadvertently associating the two- and you left me the sweetest comment that a) made me go change my blog entry because I was so unaware of my error and b) made my day because a famous knitting blogger left a comment on MY blog. Oh I got all tingly.
Play it Again, Cara Mia!
This post blew me away! Thank you so much for taking the time to verbalize what most of us think!
Blogging, for me, is intensely personal, by definition. I mean, I’m not a preteen pretending to be someone I’m not…I’m a knitter who is feeling her way through the Knittiverse! And it is wonderful to know that the others that are feeling their way along with you are, indeed, FEELING, respectful and kind!
I know where I spend much of my hard earned leisure time…right here!
Hi, Cara–it’s Laurie, who used to be “green-eyed grrl.” Anyway, I doubt you get a chance to read all these comments, but I just wanted to say that I empathize with your feelings. My old blog became a weapon against me, and it was so painful that my personal stories and memories were used to hurt me. I know how much of a risk a writer takes when she really tries to communicate. It takes guts to drop the facade and be real, but when it’s done right, like here on your blog, it’s so, so powerful.
Keep your chin up, friend.
I’m not sure the exact impetus of this post (I mean, I can guess, obviously, but anyway…), but I think it’s very honest and very well-written and it’s just the sort of reason I read your blog. Also, I’m loving the yarn! Anyplans on what that loveliness will become?
Thanks for this extremely well-written post. The bit about literally carrying the weight of the world struck a chord. Sometimes imagining how things could be worse is just too much.
Hey-we SO need to chat! I’m on vacay right now (surfing for a few on the resort computers), but will be home Friday night. Then, we chat.
Wow! I don’t know what brought that on but I liked it. You’re an old soul and I love reading you, especially your rants!
Fabulous post & wonderful yarn or is it
Wonderful post & fabulous yarn.
Cara, I’m yet another knitter who reads your blog but has never commented until now. I just wanted to say that I appreciate the sentiments expressed in this post. It can be so hard to own our feelings when we know life is harder for other people, but the fact remains that my bad day is still a bad day for me, even if somewhere in the world there are people having worse days. Some perspective is a lovely thing, but too much can be worse than none. I’m sorry for the vitriol that inspired this post, and for the pain that apparently inspired that vitriol. I had my own recent experience with an angry comment on my blog, and it was strange how it felt. I was far more hurt than I’d expect.
I wanted to thank you for a blog that’s a joy to read, and also for not deleting the vitriolic comments. We have a lot of power over our own blogs, but I think it’s good when comments, good and bad, are left to stand. We only can own our reactions to them, and I think yours has been an especially eloquent one. Thank you.