I left the house yesterday.
I also did some work – I really really did. But most of the time, when I wasn’t trying to keep myself from falling into a coma from this armegeddon type heat, I knit my magic socks. Yesterday I said I loved them with the intensity of a burning star exploding through the universe – that was putting it mildly. In this world, there are few things I love more than my Sock Hop American Pie Knee Highs. Look at this fabric!
I may never knit anything other than handspun again. Seriously. I want a sweater made from this. And the pattern I’m using? FANASTIC! The sock fits beyond perfectly. I have so much more confidence in the whole decreasing/increasing getting things to fit area. Like maybe I could make a sweater and figure out all the numbers and have it fit perfectly. Like my sock. Which hugs my calf in a way that should really be illegal. Especially in this heat.
So, I pretty much knit on the sock yesterday – with some work interspersed between decreases. I’d knit a decrease (five rows) and then do some work. Then knit a decrease, etc. until I was pretty much decreasing and not working. I’ve got one decrease left to get me to my normal 64 stitches – somewhere somehow (not a big surprise, trust me!) I messed up either the math or my decrease counting because my hatch marks say 15 decreases and the way I calculated it I was supposed to have 17. So we’ll see what happens when I knit the second sock. As of today’s weigh in, I’ve got 1 oz of yarn left and I’m not quite to the point where I will be ready to start the heel. I think I’m going to knit until the heel, and then start on the the second sock. I doubt I will knit that as fast as I knit this one – even though I will still be loving the socks like a schoolgirl alone with her Tiger Beat – but knowing that I will be waiting on yarn to finish them will probably slow me down a little. Teyani and I have discussed a few options – but some may take longer than others, so we shall see.
I DO believe these socks are magic. They may not give you a boob lift (for that you might want to check out Norma’s t-shirts) but I believe that by their mere proximity they helped me last night.
I’ll set the scene for you. It’s 10:51pm. G asks me to pick him up from work since he misses me and the big project is keeping us apart. Still feeling guilty about not getting off my ass to get the mail the other day, I put on clothes that cover all the important spots, flip flops, grab my sock and my keys and head out the door. It’s 11pm and I can barely breathe once I’m in the outside air. Oppressive is being kind. I get in my car and turn the airconditioning on – which by the way works GREAT! I had the heat on by the time I was out of my parking space. I head into Manhattan. I haven’t driven the dream machine in a while so we’re getting reacquainted.
When I get out of the Lincoln Tunnel the temperature thingamajig on the dash reads 101°. Seriously. It drops down to 96° by the time I’m at 40th and 8th. I’m doing the usual NYC dodge and burn with the taxi cabs when I hear the half siren behind me. Blurp. Blurp. I look out the rearview mirror and don’t see anything. No lights. No nothing. The blurp blurps get louder and I pull over to let whatever’s blurping go past. That’s when I realize I’ve just been pulled over by an undercover cop car. Right outside the New York Public Library no less. The shaaaammmme.
One very young very uniformed officer comes up to my window with his hand on his gun. The other officer stands on the other side of my car with a flashlight beaming into my face. Disconcerting to say the least.
“Why were you swerving like that?” says young cop.
“I was trying to avoid potholes.” Seriously – have they driven in Manhattan?
“You weaved in and out back there.”
I kind of shrug my shoulders. I sort of know what he’s talking about. This fucking cab was pissing me off and I pulled around him and sort of made my own lane. There were 400 cars in line in front of me. I couldn’t have been going that fast.
“Can I see your license?”
I start rummaging through my bag on the seat next me – I can never find anything in there in a GOOD moment let alone with a cop with a gun and a flashlight making me sweat. I find my wallet and pull out my license. In the meantime the Spiderman glove that somehow made it into my bag drops into my lap.
“Is this car registered in your name?”
“My husband. Well, it’s a lease.”
“Can I see the registration?”
I pick up my wallet again and start looking for the registration. I scroll through all of my old driver’s licenses and finally get to the registration.
“Why do you have so many driver’s licenses?”
“For the pictures. The old pictures. They’re all the same license.” I hand the cop the licenses. He hands them back without saying anything. He takes my license and registration and goes back to the car.
I’m sitting there cursing myself. I cannot afford a ticket. Funny thing – I ALWAYS wear my seatbelt. I feel naked in a car without it. The minute I pulled over and knew I was being stopped I took off my seatbelt. Isn’t that weird? I guess I thought I was going to have to get out or something. While I was sitting there waiting, I put it back on.
A few minutes later they come back to my car – hand on gun, partner with the flashlight – and the young cop tells me to drive more slowly and more safely and sends me on my way. No ticket. As I pull away, I see the flash of an addi turbo in the streetlight. The sock. Protecting me. I believe in magic.
Glad you got out, girl.
That may be the longest sock ever. I LOVE LOVE LOVE the yarn!
Ugh, getting pulled over sucks. I’m glad it all worked out. Love that sock! I just wrote to Crown Mountain to beg for some of that yarn. Because you know, we all need more yarn (hanging my head in shame right about now).
OMG, what an ordeal! Thank goodness for your magic sock!
I was at the edge of my chair reading that. Glad you didn’t get a ticket. That would’ve sucked.
And OMG, the sock fits like a dream…like I thought no handknit sock would ever fit. It really is almost indecent.
I am knocking on very bit of wood at hand right now… I haven’t been stopped in ages and it must be because of the protective powers of the knitting I always have with me. ; ) Yeah, that’s my story and I’m sticking to it.
Look at you — you’re almost to the ankle!!
So glad you got just a warning! Those tickets are damned expensive these days!
Oh, Cara, you rebel, you. Too bad you didn’t have one of my magic halters on. Boob-lift. You are a hoot!
I’m glad you got out of it with just a warning, especially with all those suspicious several extra licenses you were carrying. Geesh.
Magic socks indeed. XOXO
Undoubtedly you know the knitting-while-driving joke, so I won’t even bother. But, honestly, it’s not even the end of the month — they must have needed a testosterone booster. Thank heaven for the Protective Power of the Sock.
Wow. That’s a super hero sock. I should knit a super hero sock. Or at least a guardian angel sock. I believe in the protective powers of socks!
Yes oh yes, the magic powers of knitting.
the power of knitting is even stronger than we imagined! glad you only got a warning, phew! the sock fits like a dream, how could it not protect you.
I know what you mean about the yarn, I’ve been dreaming about a tweedy jacket knit from it. I need to beg Teyani to spin a dk or worsted version of it!
I wish I’d had the Power of the Sock when I was pulled over on my way to Thursday night KIP by some overzealous, um, two of Chicago’s finest. If the majicks had been with me, I wouldn’t have gotten a ticket either.
On the yarn front, I’m with you when it comes to Sock Hop. I kept hitting the refresh button until the new yarn stock showed up, yarn-o-holic that I am!
Fascinating! I wonder why they were so intent on pulling you over so early in the month, though? It would make more sense for them to be scrutinizing your old licenses LAST week…
If I buy some Sock Hop yarn, will it make me magical socks too?
Addi superpowers to the rescue! Awesome post :o)
Great story, thank goodness for the magic sock!
Dude you must have reeeely been swerving for them to notice you out of all the bad driving out there! And you would think they would have just left you alone and not wanted to get out of the car in this freaking HEAT. Glad you didn’t get a ticket. I believe in the magic of socks too 😉
absolute magic!
what a great story – my husband and I were rolling on the floor laughing 🙂
fiber’s in the dyepots…….. yay.
Glad you didn’t get a ticket. You should definitley bring those magic socks with you everywhere! Love that colorway.
Good grief, girl! You’re lucky they didn’t see that Addi Turbo and think you had some sort of weapon… I loved your story — the perfect thing to relieve the frustrations of this heat wave.
There’s no need to fearrrrr, homespun sock is here
I’m surprised Nosy Parker didn’t ask you about the socks.
What a night – glad you got away without a ticket. The socks ARE magical. 😉
The knitting threw skippy off and he let you go, how awesome!