Super humoungous out of control points to whomever can name the song I mangled for today’s title. Seriously. You will get huge props here at January One.
Sooooo. Where was I? Oh yeah. Coming off possibly the worst weekend of my life, we now have no more information than we did when we started. Well, that’s not exactly true. We’re a bit less worried that the melanoma has spread throughout his body – basically because he’s had a chest x-ray and blood work up the wazoo in the past 30 days and not one test came back abnormal – so we’re taking that as a good sign. Please don’t tell me to think otherwise. I beg of you. Also, the lesion they removed was 1.4mm which in melanoma terms is not fantastic, but it’s not super bad either. Although we have reason to believe it’s probably thicker than that because the melanoma had spread to the margins. Bottom line is that he’s got an appointment at Sloane-Kettering next Wednesday and hopefully we’ll know more then. The next step is a sential node mapping and only then will we have the information we’ll need. I don’t know when that will be scheduled.
For the next week, or until we know something definitively, we’re trying to get back to normal. As normal as normal can be once Cancer has stepped into your life. Adapt or die. And dying is absolutely NOT an option.
What’s normal for me? I’m still working, which is good. Keeping me busy. And my house is an absolute disaster, so I have some huge cleaning/organizing projects to look forward to now that G won’t be home from the surgery – or at least not the surgery we thought he’d be home from. And knitting. Blessed, blessed knitting. I picked up the Casino shawl a few days ago and managed to work through about ten rows slowly. I like it pretty well, but it’s still very hard to see the pattern emerging – I haven’t even finished one repeat yet – and the rows are very long.
Today, though, after reading Margene’s post, I became obsessed with Ariann! I’m hoping to use some Jo Sharp I’ve got in the stash, but I’m not sure and of course I want to cast on RIGHT NOW. I can’t imaging anything better than wrapping myself in a soft sweater. I wish it was done already.
Thank you all for your comments and concern and love. It means so much to us. For right now, though, I’d like to get back to my crazy fucked up kind of normal. Next time I know anything, I’ll be sure to share.
L, C
I’ll be sending all the good vibes and prayers I can for you two.
Oh, I can’t come up with the song title, but it reminds me of that old saying. . . My body is a temple but my boyfriend is an atheist!
Love and (hugs) and here’s to normalcy!
I had no idea you were a KISS fan. 😉
Dressed to Kill, right?? I’ve got the man of the house to thank for that knowledge as he loooooves Kiss and it has been etched into my brain upon repeated listens.
Cara, I wish I were closer to you geographically. I’d bring over food, or yarn, or whatever y’all needed. Hang in there, and you both take care of yourselves. Sending lots of love and positive vibes your way.
My thoughts and positivity are with you. I’ve gone through a similar situation (my husband had a brain tumor) if you ever need to talk.
I’m so very, very sorry that you and George are going through this. Please know that there is tremendous support out here in cyberspace from those who know you only in a virtual way.
Cara, I think the song you’re thinking of is from the album Dressed to Kill by Kiss. Song title: C’mon and Love Me. DON’T ask how I know. . .
“She’s a dancer, a romancer
I’m a Capricorn and she’s a Cancer”
My best wishes for G’s health are with you.
Married to a huge Kiss fan myself. So I recognized the title. Wishing you and G the best with thoughts and well wishes.
A lurker here who has enjoyed your posts, pictures and talent for a while now. Have been a care taker of someone with cancer for 2 years now, hang in there. It is hard on us too in a different way, I understand. I will by praying for you and your husband.
You have my prayers, good wishes and happy thoughts for G’s health.
Oh Cara, I’m just catching up on blogs after Thanksgiving. I’ve got nothing to say, except that my thoughts are with you and if I were closer I’d drive over and give you a hug right now! Good luck, and looking forward to good news.
Thinking of you…willing to send yarn.
I’m a lurker here but I just wanted to let you know my thoughts and prayers are with you and your husband.
Sending good thoughts to you and Georgie.
The Casino Shawl rows are SOOOO long. They are killing me. I’ve finished one and half repeats. I think it’s getting easier. At least the rows are getting shorter.
Keep knitting, girl! Sometimes it’s the only tool we have.
Have you gotten to spin any? That always helps me relax and forget the world, in some ways more then knitting. HUGS!
Cancer sucks. Here’s hoping that you get the best possible news very soon.
And knitting – go for it. It has soothing powers.
Cyberhugs, positive vibes and prayers to you and G. My sister had a spot removed 8 years ago, which came back as malignant melanoma. They’d already removed the spot, and there was nothing more she had to have done. She has not had a recurrence since. Here’s hoping you and G have a similar experience!
A haiku for you (with some “geographical” poetic license):
Cancer can kiss my
ass, and also get right the
hell off Georgie’s.
Cuz I didn’t have anything uplifting to say, but lurking wasn’t working for me either.
Got my fingers and toes crossed that all will be good news from here on…….
they only zodiac sign song i know is age of aquarius and i really doubt that was what you were thinking. 😀 i am thinking good thoughts for you and hubby. you know, you havent posted your abc pictures since K. that makes me sad, i love your pictures. you are busy however! hugs,
I wish I could be cool and say that I knew the song title, but I’m just not. 😀
Much love is being sent to you and your love.
XOXOX!!!!
Hey, I’m thinking of you. No stories or advice or anything – just sending good wishes.
C’mon and love me ;^)
I hope things get better soon.
*HUGS*
I’ve held off on commenting because I’m sure you’ve been inundated with many well wishes. I just want you to know I’m thinking of you and sending many good thoughts your way. I know from where you come in one way because my husband had brain surgery and we didn’t know if he would live. I will think of you two often, sending deep and healing thoughts.
I’ve got the Ariann bug as well. Perhaps it gives off comfort vibes. I’m thinking Kid Classic. You let me know if there’s anything I can do down here besides sending the good fricky vibes your way.
Just another chime in – I’m thinking of you and everyone else whose life has been struck by cancer (which now includes mine – my dad was just diagnosed with leukemia). Hugs and and hang in theres acomin’ your way.
just catching up on my blogs after being away. i’m so so sorry to hear the news. G and you will be in my thoughts.
btw, I’m a little obsessed with Ariann too…maybe it will be a good distraction?
Stay sane, Cara. (I know, like that’s possible right now…) Take comfort in your ability to knit. Can you imagine how hard this would be if you had no stress-relieving hobby? Knit away. I’ve used knitting to calm my nerves in so many awful occasions and I truly believe that it helps. I hope everything goes well for you!
good to hear that you feel you can return to some sense of normality for a bit. it’s really the only thing to do, right? that and clean 🙂 i find that cleaning ALWAYS helps (but i’m sick like that.)
Sloane-Kettering – good place.
Organizing/cleaning/decluttering – great distracters.
Crazy Normal plus Knitting – bliss!
Another lurker here, wishing all good news from here on out for you and your husband. My husband and I went through the cancer vortex 5 years ago – that vortex that sucks you down down down with every piece of news and every test. But we came out the other side, thankfully. I’m a bit less “whole” but a lot less smug about things like life and kids and kindness and gratitude. I’m thinking of you, Cara. Breathe deeply, put one foot in front of the other, and enjoy every small moment.
Still thinking about you and Georgie. Hugs and good thoughts and virtual chicken soup. Knitting is good. (It saved my life, that’s for sure.)
Normal, no matter what your normal is, is good!
My thoughts are with you both.
KISS baby!
Thinking of you and G — going through a cancerous time here with one of my relatives myself, so I can relate on some level. :/
Sending {{{{{{Healthy Healing Vibes}}}}}} from CT for Georgie and you.
Wishing you all the best,Cara ; )
Thinking of you and wishing you best!
That truly sucks. As if life doesn’t have enough uncertainty and variables in it.
Crossing fingers…sending hope and love.
Sending all sorts of good thoughts and healing vibes.
Hugs to you, Cara.
Cancer sucks, sucks, sucks. Waiting sucks, too. I’m sending more prayers and love your way.
I know this is the wrong song, but I immediately thought of “Float On” by the Floaters – possibly the cheesiest R&B 1970s song ever made. “My name is Lyle, and I’m a Capricorn . . . Float, float on …”
Heh. Love to you Cara.
Good luck to you and George, Cara.
Before my kids came along, I used to work transcription in a Surgical Pathology department, and the doctors I worked with always spoke highly of Sloane-Kettering, so I’m sure George will be in good hands.
(And clearly this is a sign I need to lay off the crack-smoking, but… you didn’t mangle “I’m a little bit country, he’s a little bit rock-and-roll” for your title, did you? Because that’s all that’s going through my head.)
Sigh. This sucks. 🙁 I’ll be keeping you both in my thoughts, and sending you all the best wishes I can.
I have no words of comfort for you…anything I can say would fall far short but know that you and your husband are in my thoughts even though I wouldn’t know either one of you if I tripped over you in the street. How’s that for a runon sentence!
I also wanted you to know that when I feel stressed out – unually at work – I bring up your website and keep hitting refresh to scroll through your banner pictures. You are an absolutely wonderful photographer. Thank you!
De-lurking as well…
Hang in there! My mom had melanoma about 20 years ago and kicked its ass. G will do the same.
I’m slowly working through the Casino Shawl, too. Being a lace novice, it took me about 25-30 rows before I really figured out what was going on, but the shawl works up quite beautifully.
From everything you’ve told us, your Georgie sounds like a strong guy. I’m betting he’ll come through this just fine. Since extra prayers and good thoughts are never a bad thing, know that you both have mine.
Two primaries here and still kicking. Western medicine is really amazing at dealing with melanoma. Have his retinas checked by an ophthalmologist, okay? It’s one of the less likely places a melanoma can occur, easily tracked, often forgotten. Presents as a freckle on the retina.
With your photography skills, you can map and track any changes of his exterior easily (nude photography!). See if Sloane-Kettering will give you a roll of the sticky measuring tape stuff they use in photo mapping, or make your own.
Acupuncture can help keep the lymph system going strong. If he grows moles in puncture wounds, try acupressure instead. Best of luck.
You can never have too many people wishing you well. Or too much yarn. Or too much time for knitting. Or hugs. Or love. Or cuddling in bed with the one you love. Or being naked with the one you love. Or — I better stop now or this is going to become unseemly!
Enjoy your day!
I’ve been thinking about you (and George)since you first mentioned this whole thing, but tried to respect your wishes about not talking about it. It sounds like things are starting to look up, so I wanted to be sure you knew I’m wishing you both well, and will continue to do so. Hang in there;you will get through this together.
“Knit on with confidence and hope, through all crises.”
Elizabeth Zimmermann
I think normal is an excellent idea. It’s important to have as many noramal days as you can in life. Hang tough, sister.
xox, J
ok my gorgeous gal! i am sending you many many good wishes across that big pacific lake.
as far as arianne goes…it is gorgeous isn’t it! what jo sharp do you have in your stash? because if is is jo sharp silkroad aran tweed – i would be a bit nervous about knitting arianne with it. silkroad aran tweed is not the best in the memory stakes.
I’m sorry life is so crappy right now. I am keeping my fingers crossed and praying for the best news possible. Please let me know if there’s anything at all I can do for you.
I’m not going to say a single thing about the f*cking, f*ucked-up, what-the-f*ck cancer.
I am gonna say that you rock.
And that’s all I have to say about any of that. Peace.
Not sure if it’s wanted, but I’m just adding my support here with the others. Keeping you both in my thoughts while I return to my normal lurking status.
Thoughts prayers and hugs with you…I love your blog and I promise to comment whenver I lurk and maybe I’ll start posting on my blog someday…until then I love checking in on yours. You are amazing and thanks for sharing (and thanks for sharing the STR obsession with us all) I have way too too many, but love them all.
Thinking good thoughts and sending good vibes to both of you!
I think anyone who titles a blog after a KISS song is totally rad. But, conversely, anyone who actually recognizes said song is just a little suspect. I refuse to comment on whether *I* recognized it…
PS: Carrie’s haiku took the words right outta my mouth. All the best, Cara!
what do we say is the most important thing?
breakfast.
family.
oh right, I thought you meant out of the things we eat.
I am a Kiss fan, baybeee. I even dressed up as Paul Stanley one year for Halloween. No shit. And the big hair was real.
Still sending the good love vibe your direction.
i am thinking of you two toots. hugs.
Plenty of good vibes and prayers shooting your way, kay?
Take care of YOU as well as G! (the knitting is an excellent avenue for that!)
I suck. I didn’t send you a hug before because …. well, I suck. And I’m weird about this shit. But now I finally have my guts about me, and I’m sending you the biggest goddamn hug you can handle. Okay? Got it? HUGGGGGGGGGG.
Big silent hug to you.
You both are still in my thoughts.
isn’t it weird what “normal” turns into? good to hear that it’s a little less worrisome now. information is good.
You sweet girl, hang in there. I’ll be praying for you and your G.
Is that KISS? I’ve dealt with C too many times & this one Cara is the slowest. Don’t forget to take care of you too. Between you and S-K, G’s in great hands. You just try to keep the markers away from the comforter.x When is your Log Cabin coming home?
Coming out of lurkdom to say my thoughts and good wishes are with both of you. Thanks for your honesty and sharing. Try and be gentle with yourselves.
Knit, knit on. I’m currently searching for the perfect yarn for Ariann-it’s such an elegant design I can understand wanting to cast on asap.
Sending good thoughts, good vibes, good luck your way!
You wrote me about Ariann and I answered without stopping by here first … so sorry about your worries. Sending my best thoughts your way.
All of this totally sucks! Sending hugs to you and G.
Prayers are sent your way!
Cara, I’m sorry about your guy, that sucks. My cousin is having the same problem with her husband right now. She’s holding herself together pretty well though when she gets bills in the mail for his surgery and the like, from the Cancer Center, she gets pretty freaked out.
From someone who loves her husband more than should be possible, I feel for you both.
Everything is going to be okay. HUGS to you the good loving wife!
Hoping for good news very soon for you both.
And I know this won’t help at all, but I’ll share anyway. Because of the last two posts, I’m getting a mole looked at tomorrow. Skin cancer runs like crazy in my family and I’d been ignoring this one mole. That stops now.
dear Cara,
from a knitter who was in the same situation as your husband 5 years ago, the best wishes and support to him and you. Bon courage, hugs,
Stéphanie.
hey cara, that sweater does look comfy… i am sending you good vibes from the ‘boken. for a terrible moment i thought the title of your post was from Opposites Attract, but then again you don’t strike me as a Paula Abdul fan… i will guess it’s KISS 😉
Don’t you hate the fact that you have to learn terms like “sential node mapping “?
I’ve just donated to Doctors without Borders for you and G. Good karma never hurts. Good wishes are winging your way from Canada.
Farkity fark fark. Boobie hugs to you both. They have some medicinal properties. (.)(.)
I’m sure the sentinel node biopsy results will be POSITIVELY NEGATIVE!!! I have a FIVE YEAR OLD 3″ fading scar just under my right clavicle – yeah, first excision didn’t get all the margins. I don’t hide it – it’s a reminder of how we gotta’ appreciate every day and fill it with beautiful stuff – You’re WAY WAY ahead of the game on that count – G is lucky to have you and you him – I’m sure y’all will weather this fine and you’ve both got great vibes, prayer, thoughts, etc., etc. bombarding you from all over the world!! (uh – I second that on seeing the ophthalmologist!! – eyes are pretty darn important)
Damned spot! Sending healing thoughts your way.
Our thoughts are with you. What a hard thing to go through….
I’m so happy that you found your project yarn for Ariann. I didn’t read through the 86 comments above me to see if anyone mentioned this, but be sure to make adjustments for the row gauge so that your sleeves don’t get all wonky. I feel like a bad friend even mentioning that, but it’s true. Start with the body pieces since they’re easier and you can worry about the serious math a little later. xox, J
I don’t know if the good vibes help people to get better, but I hope they make it easier for you both to get through the waiting. I’ve found when those I love are sick the worst things are not being able to do something and (even worse) not knowing what to do.
Hope you are able to focus on your own kind of crazy living together instead of new intruder. Best wishes to you both.
Schmoomee – we are thinking of you here in GA. We are thinking brave thoughts for you and Georgie. We love you guys.
I should know that song, shouldn’t I? Hmmm.
normal sounds like it would be very welcome about now! so sorry to hear about G — focus on normal and the two of you being together, watching movies, fun stuff, ya know? fingers are locked in the crossed position.
I know three people who have had skin cancer and they have all beaten it. You’re in my thoughts.
Cara, my very best wishes to you and yours. I can tell you that I used to work for someone who had melanoma long before I met him. He not only survived, but has thrived, for many years since then. He was fortunate to be able to participate in trials for some of the treatments that are now out there to help your husband. It’s perfectly OK to be scared or angry or whatever else you’re feeling…and please remember to take care of yourself, too.
I am SO glad you and G had some better news. I hope the sentinel nodes are clear. that REALLY helps the prognosis/staging and minimized the kinds of treatments they tend to want to do. I have a dear friend who has been beating Stage IV melanoma for FIVE YEARS. Feel free to write if you want more information. One of the things she did, like you guys, is recognize that dying is just not an option now… so she started a battle-for-health that is awesome to behold…. not to mention that it is working.
And your swatch and sage beginnings are beautiful.
god damn. I really hope he’s okay. ’cause the dying thing, that one sucks.
Good vibes your way and his, kid.