Please accept my apologies for announcing the Haiku Contest winners so late. But really – YOU try reading four hundred haikus. And THEN choosing winners. I blame no one but myself. And maybe Ann because I like to blame her for stuff.
RANDOM WINNERS:
boyfriend sweater, one
fantastic idea (not)
knit him socks instead
JODIE
Yarn Pirate Plunder
January One treasure
Sock wool for peg leg
(Jodie writes that she really does have a peg leg! So all you wanna be pirates beware. Jodie’s the REAL DEAL! 😉 )
January One
warms the worm with hand knit socks
how fantastic dude
PEGERELLA
A worm is lucky.
Knit but one fantastic sock,
Whole body yarn fest
THE CHOSEN ONES
KATHY
Dude buys me some yarn
Hopes to get me in the sack
I knit socks and laugh
Kathy’s haiku is by far my favorite. I just love that it tells a complete story – there’s a conflict – motivation – an arc to it – character development – resolution. In three little lines. It’s a perfect story and I’m utterly jealous that I didn’t write it. WELL DONE Kathy. Extremely well done.
LISA
Pirate needs warm spot
To put his worm in winter
Maybe sock, or sheep.
DUDE! Don’t tell me NOT to pick it and then give me this! Because really I’m PERVERSE at heart and I freaking love it. NOW TELL ME WHO YOU ARE?!?! LISA (IF THAT’S YOUR REAL NAME) LEAVE ME A COMMENT OR SEND ME AN EMAIL WITH YOUR ADDRESS. YOUR ANON EMAIL BOUNCED BACK.
Glad I’m not a worm.
No feet, no socks, no fingers.
Couldn’t even knit.
The idea that worms can’t knit was a popular one, but I like this the best because it’s very sad for the worm. I mean, can you imagine if we couldn’t knit?! And not knit socks?! Thank you Ellene.
[Ode to her lawn boy, who was the first boy she ever kissed]
Oh lawn boy, you worm
First kiss, drool fall(s) down my face
I sock the poor dude
LOVE THIS! Adelle uses all the correct words and yet the haiku has NOTHING to do with knitting, socks, yarn, etc! Excellent!
THE WORST HAIKU EVER
There was some stiff competition for this designation, but I’m proud to say the winner is:
MARY
January sock
One sheep on linoleum
“What the hell, Frankie!”
Surely there were haikus that were worse, you say. Well there was one about a toenail that made the worst cut, and one about the offspring of worms and sheep which…is that SHIT of some sort? And there were others that just didn’t make any sense to me whatsoever, but Mary’s haiku was intriguing to me in it’s incomprehensibility. Is that a sheep in the kitchen? What’s a January sock? And last, but not least, WHO THE HELL IS FRANKIE?
Okay. That’s it. Nine winners. Thank you all for playing. I’ve learned a very valuable lesson here – I will never, ever, NEVER ask you to write haikus, or any poem for that matter, in order to win yarn again. But be prepared. I may ask you to write a song.
All winners will receive enough sock yarn for a pair of socks and an orange chibi.
HAPPY SOCKTOBERFEST!! I’ve listed some HONORABLE MENTIONS in the jump. ENJOY!!
L, C
HONORABLE MENTIONS!
i knit one wool sock
for a january worm
thought he might catch cold
MORGAN
Yarn is for babies
Only Pirates knit with worms
Fantastic worm socks
DEEPA
Wool sock on one foot
Second skein lies in basket
January blues.
AMANDA
Watch my flying foot,
with sock on, jet up your ass
if you steal my wool!
LARA
Pirate wonders: how
to knit wool socks with hook hand.
Maybe try crochet?
Rocks fall on my feet,
The feet have no socks on them.
Help me, I’m bleeding.
My feet are not bare
Walking around in wool socks
I don’t get hook worm
Dude knits in a tree
Pirate sneaks up behind him
A sock slowly falls
SARAHJANET
If worms could knit socks
They would only need the one.
Lucky bastard worms.
JASMINE
I knit a worm sock
It was not better than yarn
It wriggled away
DEANNE
Pirate dude knits socks,
Rogue wave sends the ship over rocks.
Yarn falls overboard.
RACHEL
Knit socks, too narrow–
Fantastic sweater, perhaps
for some lucky worm.
The first fall freeze
Even the Junkie seems to want
warm socks for feet
MARY BETH
January one daughter
won’t wear socks
More wool for me!
KIM P
Wal-Mart nylon sock
on my foot like dead worm, eeewww
oh sheep, bring me wool
Dude, my gauge is off.
Do you know if worms wear socks?
I knit a wee one.
To knit my socks takes
One hundred skeins of Koigu.
Dude, my feet are huge.
Jets fall from the sky
Changed not only ways we fly
Knit socks gets me by
A worm wears a sock
But an easy one for there
Is no heel turning!
jet stream brings cold south
socks knit in summer sun help
feet worm their way warm
my one sock attempt
a fantastic tangled fest
damn center pull skein
science fiction sheep
travel by woolly jump jets
in shiny rocket socks
BERNI
Clutching one old sock,
Tears fall. Nana’s hands, still young,
Knit on, in my mind.
My son hates his socks
I knit one sock with wool, dude,
And one sock with worms!
I knit and I breath
Socks fall warm from my needles
My world is at peace
CRANKYGRRRRRL
Crankygrrrrrl’s haiku kind of sucked, but I LOVED her limerick:
there once was a worm without feet
he would dream about wool and of sheep
read january one,
and said, “hey, look how fun,
to blog and to knit can’t be beat!”
In January
One knit sock is still useful
For a chic streaker
JAN
Poor January One!
Sock haiku challenge rocks, but
Opens can of worms.
Jan says it all. Thanks again for playing. I’ll be back on Friday. If you need me, check here.
SEE YA! WOULDN’T WANT TO BE YA!
so, every time i come here “for just a minute”, you know what happens, right? have fun!
i hope i see you at rhinebeck this year!!!
Can’t believe I won! My High School English teacher would be proud…or perhaps not, given my haiku 😉
I’m glad I didn’t have to read them all to get to the winner — I agree it is a gem.
Always wanted to be one of those people who started the day with poetry. Thanks for making me one of those people, if only for a day.
Also- I’ve missed you! Here at work your site was off limits until today, when I finally received the filter override. La-dee-dah! Off to the porn sites I go!
I am so excited!!! I actually write haikus all of the time about my lawn boy – I should start a book!
Thank you!!!
hahaha, i love lisa’s. how perverse indeed!
glad you liked the limerick…but let’s be honest, the haiku didn’t kind of suck, it was awful!!
Woohoo, honourable mention! Oh, the glory, the glory.
Thanks, Cara! This was fun.
My first thought about Mary and her sheep on the linoleum was Dolores, clever woolly companion of Franklin over at The Panopticon blog.
I can’t believe you read 400 of those!!!
hilarious, thanks for the good laugh!! 🙂
Thanks for weeding through all of those haiku so that your readers may be entertained! What the hell Franky, I loved them all, especially Lisa’s!
I assumed Frankie referred to TMK’s (The Mysterious K, partner of Ryan at Mossy Cottage Knits (http://www.nwkniterati.com/movabletype/mossycottage/) dog. The linoleum and the sheep? I have no idea.
Love the winner!
Sweet, I got an honorable mention! Honestly, this is the only time I’ve been picked for a HM. Normally I’m somewhere around the bottom of the pile. It may not be first place, it still means a lot to me! Thank you so much. 🙂
you actually read them 🙂 wow..400 haikus…
yay! thanks for the honorable mention cara!! that was so much fun!
LOL!
Well done to all of the winners!!
Even if this contest was sort of a pain, Dear Hostess, it sure was fun to read all of the efforts.
Many Thanks!!
~Suz~
Darn, I never win anything . . . (sniffle). Not even points for being the first entry?? (grin)
Hi! I couldn’t find an email address so hope it’s okay to comment here.
But, one, you have a lovely blog! Two, this contest idea was really fun! Three, the winning entries were so good I linked to this post on our site competizione. 🙂
Also, we’re sort of a clearing house for blog contests, so if you ever have another that you’d like us to announce, just let us know.
you did it! i’m so proud of you and all your posters and winners.
the haiku are wonderful, loads of fun ; plus; the winning haiku were as good as mine which i loved;
thanks for sharing and urging on our creative efforts
Oh it was sooo much fun reading these. It’s like the ghost story challenge-too cool!! Thanks for your your great ideas.
Great fun! The Frankie and linoleum one had me thinking of my mom’s story of how her mom used to wax the kitchen floor, then put her kids in socks and tell them to go sliding around to polish the wax. Mom went soaring through the window.
Thank you, Cara, for choosing my haiku as the Worst!! I really wanted the yarn, and I would even sink to this level to get it. Writing haiku is a tough assignment, especially when there are required words. “What the hell, Fraaahnkie!” is an all-purpose exclamation that my husband coined. It can signify joy, despair, bemusement, terror, awe–or any other emotion. It fits perfectly when you encounter a sheep in your kitchen at 2 a.m.
My comment has nothing to do with all the Haiku…which I did find delightful…and I even tried to get my Eng. major DD to write one (We’re spending tons on tuition & she ignored me!) but I really want to share a site my friend sent. It’s crochet, but it could be knit and you HAVE to see these shapes.
http://theiff.org/main.html
No worries with guage or fit here!!
so much fun and why would anyone be surprised at 400 entries – EVERYTHING you do turns out to be larger than life – you’re such an inspiration – you challenge us!!
My heart is broken
Interlacement Tanglewood
will never be mine
Seriously, congratulations to all the winners!! Anyone know where a gal could find that delicious Tanglewood now that Itnerlacement has discontinued it?
I was so excited to see that I got an HM! Thanks! What a great idea for a contest. Actually, I can’t believe it didn’t take you longer to get through all 400+ entries!
Heehee. I always go for the underdog, so GO FRANKIE!!