Discipline

No pictures today. I’m pictured out. Feel free to move along if pictures are your thing.

Today is clean the toilets day at my house. I’ve been up since 8 and have only started to blog at almost 11AM and not a toilet has been cleaned. But that’s what I’m doing today.

I’ve been really good lately with discipline. I’m on a diet. It doesn’t have a fancy name or anything just the I’m fatter than I’ve ever been and I can’t stand it anymore so I’m not eating stuff diet. Basically I’m trying not to skip meals and eat more often but smaller portions and better stuff and no desserts and no soda and it seems to be working okay. I’m maintaining at the least and dropping a few pounds along the way. At least I’m back to where I was before the vacation. Vacation killed me. If I could only add the exercise in again I think I’d be golden. It’s too hot to exercise though. I hate Summer.

I’ve also been really disciplined in the work department. Monday I told myself I wasn’t allowed to knit until I had finished a certain amount of work AND fold the extremely large pile of laundry taking over the den. I did both and by the time I was done it was around 11:30PM. I knit one measly row on Moth and went to bed. Tuesday I was up very early because I had a 10AM shoot in Central Park. HOT Central Park. Like get back in my car and the external thermometer reads 110 degrees F Central Park. (That was because my car was in the sun, I suspect it wasn’t really that hot temperature wise, but add in the humidity and I think I’m making a fair assessment.) I SUCK in the heat. I get really really sweaty and gross (and not the good kind of sweaty and gross that comes with exercise) and I get irritable and tired and nasty. I ran a few errands, came home, ate, and set to work again. By the time I was finished with the job I was working on it was around 9PM. I told G that I wasn’t going to do any cleaning, because today is for cleaning, and I was just going to knit. The thing is, though, I got into bed to watch the boob tube and knit and I just couldn’t do it. I was so tired I just layed there and thought about my knitting instead. How pathetic is that?!? But I had discipline.

Discipline sucks.

So today I must clean all the bathrooms in my house. There are three. They are grody. And that’s being kind. Today I take a mini-break from photography work to clean. Say it with me: P-A-T-H-E-T-I-C.

Blogging might be scarce the next week or so for a few reasons:

1) Discipline. Blogging takes up time that I should really be spent doing other things. Mostly I can use it to procrastinate, but I’m way behind and it’s time to prioritize. My house is disgusting and my work is piling up and I’m not knitting…blogging takes a backseat, unfortunately.

2) I’m not knitting. See number 1. I’ve got nothing new to show you! If I don’t blog for a couple of days and that gives me a chance to knit, then I can come back with a fabulous knit to actually blog about. I know I don’t need to knit to blog but cleaning and work are not interesting. If I can find some way to make that interesting, I will try, but otherwise I’m just boring myself.

3) Not sure there is a three. Can’t think of a three. Damn! I thought there was a three! Oh well. Three is that I may blog every day in order to keep my sanity. Or I may not. Depends on how much work I can accomplish over the next week or so. NOW I remember three! My sister and the kids are coming up for July 4th – as they do every year – so I’m cleaning for them and I’m working all weekend and then I’m hanging with them, so yet another reason I might be a bit absent.

Excuses, excuses, but I’m really really tired. There’s all this other stuff going on too, but I can’t talk about it yet and it’s making me anxious a bit and emotional and it’s all good, but with the heat and the work and the cleaning I’m so tired. I couldn’t even knit last night, that’s how tired.

One of the best parts about being an adult is learning your limits. It’s an incredibly hard lesson to learn, but I think I’m getting better at it the older I get. Learning when to say: I would love to do that, but I just can’t right now. In the old days I would try to do absolutely everything and then I would crash and burn – rather spectacularly, if I might add – but I’m too old to crash and burn anymore. And hopefully way too smart.

Wish me luck on the bathrooms. I’m going to need it.
L, C

ETA: I have nothing against a cleaning person – in fact I had one for many years. Then she quit/we fired her and we haven’t had one since. For awhile I looked for one and they were all either ridiculously expensive or not good and then we gave up and the house has been a mess ever since. Now I’m in the position of getting to the point where I wouldn’t be embarrassed to have someone clean it – there’s crap everywhere. Trust me. The goal is to get someone in here again PRONTO! As I said above, the older I get the smarter I get.

Comments

  1. Good luck! You don’t suck…it’s growing up that sucks.

  2. I HATE cleaning – and bathrooms are the worst!!! Good luck, and I hope they go very quickly! 🙂 I feel you on the blog taking a backseat too – I haven’t blogged forever, and I have lots of stuff happening to talk about – just no time to sit down and do it!
    🙂

  3. One word: housekeeper. Or two words: cleaning lady. Presto, chango — clean bathrooms. Try it. YOu’ll like it!!

  4. maybe think of it in terms of one bathroom at a time instead of three bathrooms all at once. all of the effort now will be well worth it when your sister and her kids arrive and the kids give you great big hugs.
    congratulations on finding discipline – i’m still looking for it myself!

  5. Sally A said it first. Hire somebody to do the grody stuff. It seems horribly decadent until you come home from the job to a clean house, and you’re not so terribly exhausted that you can actually enjoy it. I resisted for years (had this idea that I could keep my house as clean as my stay-at-home-mom’s, while working full time) and finally my husband convinced me, and I’m a convert now. LOVE my cleaning lady. I keep trying to figure out what to knit her to show my appreciation.

  6. Oh my dear, I feel for you. We have out of town friends coming for the night Monday. I’m starting the cleaning process tonight after work (I’m getting my nails done first)….bathrooms suck!!! Discipline, great goal….I need some!

  7. Ah, I should take a page from your book! Loosing weight and cleaning should be way higher on my priority list!
    Good luck with those toilets!

  8. If you need a break, I wish you a good one; if you don’t, I’ll be happy to come visit. (Er, your site, that is.)
    Sending good bathroom vibes your way.

  9. Good luck with the bathrooms! I just cleaned mine from top to bottom a few weeks ago (it REALLY needed it) and I felt way better afterwards- I’m sure you will, too. You can do it!

  10. I’m lol about you thinking about knitting. When I’m busy at work, I often find that once I get home, get dinner out of the way and finally sit down on the couch, I pick up my knitting and think about making a stitch, but my hands don’t move. In my head row after row is going by, in reality not so much.
    Good going on the discipline. I could use more.

  11. The heat sucks. Chores suck. Discipline kinda sucks, too.
    Take comfort in knowing that after your post yesterday, I promptly ordered the magazine with Babette in it. And I really don’t like crochet. You, however, have made me love Babette.
    (For the record, I also highly recommend hiring someone to do the cleaning. The politics of it were complicated for me for a long time — I won’t go into them here — but I’ve found it’s the right thing to do. For what that’s worth.)

  12. Bathrooms are my nemesis. I will happily do laundry ’til the cows come home, but I hate hate hate cleaning bathrooms.
    Good luck to you!!!

  13. Dude, we are channeling each other. I was telling someone yesterday my bathrooms (2) were grody and she gave me the blank stare. “What’s grody,” she asked.
    Nice to know you know what I’m sayin’ you know what I’m sayin’…
    And yes, it is a Sisyphus Task!

  14. Good luck with the bathrooms! Make sure to appreciate your hard work when you’re done. That light at the end of the tunnel is the only thing that makes it possible for me to face the toilet bowl.

  15. Good luck with the bathrooms — luckily I only have 2 to clean, but with lots of males in the house it feels like 6 🙂
    As for diets, a couple of years ago my brother-in-law lost a considerable amount of weight. When ask how he did it, he said it was simple, “shut the pie hole”. Sometimes life is simpler than we think.
    Have a great time with your visiting family!

  16. Congratulations on your discipline. I just spent a very disciplined weekend, and although it was torture (“Just a little break? Please???”) the end results are worth it (as they almost always are). Guess that’s one of those grown-up life lessons to learn.
    I still have my own mountain of clean laundry to fold… it’s taking over the landing at the top of the stairs.
    Anyway, best of luck with the bathrooms, and the blog break, and of course you don’t need pictures – we’re here to read whatever you have to say, even if it is work and cleaning!

  17. Once we are financially able, not a full second shall pass before I hire a housecleaner! I gave up on cleaning my house during the school year. I do sinks and toilet and that’s about it, save the occasional vacuum binge and the necessity of cleaning up some kind of animal mess. I hear ya!

  18. At least you don’t have one bathroom used by 5 people. Oh, and 2 cats.
    That sucks. And is grody as well 🙂
    And I am jealous you live close enough to Central Park to visit it. For some reason, I adore Central Park.
    Anyhoo – good luck with the bathrooms!

  19. I am in the same gross boat. I need to clean before I can hire someone to clean. When the charming and fantastic Petra left the service, we didn’t replace her. We should have done it then, but we were bereft! Now, we need to get things back to this side of squalor (okay, it’s not that bad) before we let someone else in the house. Plus, I have serious guilt issues with having someone clean up after me, but I also HATE cleaning. Good luck sticking to your goals.

  20. I cut out soda for about a year over 7 years ago and lost soooo much weight! And the funny thing is, once you’ve gone without (yes, it was weird and hard in the beginning), you don’t miss it too much. When I decided to end my self imposed ban, I no longer liked it, it was way too sweet. As for the cleaning, accumulated dirt in bathrooms are the grossest. Early in my pregnancy, it would make me gag to clean the toilet and shower/tub, but I had to do it. I kept thinking about that scene from the Guy Richie movie, I think Lock, Stock & 2 Smoking Barrels where the main character goes into this disgustingly dirty WC…I can’t even talk about it! Anyway, just suit up with lots of protective gear before you go in there!

  21. Good luck with the toilets. I think we all understand what it’s like to be really busy (and tired). Take as much time as you need– I’ll be here when you get back!

  22. Here is possibly the only positive comment about bathroom cleaning: most of us don’t hide yarn in there so there are few distractions. Maybe that is why it’s not fun to clean. Sometimes I think about crocheting one of those toilet paper holder dolls to make it more of a fiber experience when I am cleaning. But then I get a hold of myself.

  23. I was going to wish you good luck and post something witty but really, can anyone say it better than margene did in comment one? I don’t think so. So Good Luck!

  24. Call me sick but cleaning bathrooms are my favorite household chore. By favorite I mean, only one I like. My whole house will be a mess – dirty dishes, laundry, ironing, clutter clutter everywhere. I go and clean the bathrooms, put out new towels, light a candle…and POOF! I feel like I have cleaned house. The glimmering sink and toilet blind me to the rest of the mess.

  25. Oh man, it’s not the cleaning but the clutter removal that really sucks the life out of me.
    Not, mind you, that I like cleaning. I loathe it with the intense heat of a thousand suns. (Did the Yarn Harlot say that, or did I get it from the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy?)
    Good luck!

  26. See I’m weird about the cleaning. We have a cleaning lady (the fiance had her back before we lived together), and while I’m certainly glad we do have her, I never think she cleans well enough for me. If it weren’t for the time involved in cleaning properly, I would clean myself. She also vacuums, though, and vacuuming is my least favorite activity in the world.

  27. that is one of the top ten things about getting older–you get smarter.
    :o)good luck on the bathrooms– good cleaning vibes are being sent your way….NOW!

  28. It’s really hard to find a good housekeeper that is affordable. We have a lousy one, but we can’t find anyone else. Good job on the weight loss – it should help with managing the heat too! I lost 15 lbs a few years ago and noticed I was cold more often. Now I’m not cold as often….probably should try to get back to that weight. 😉

  29. Hand in there Cara – you’ll feel better when the bathrooms are clean. Also, make sure you schedule in real time for what you enjoy. I usually tell myself something like ‘If I clean bathrooms between 1 and 3pm then I can knit between 7 and 9 this evening’ Or whatever hours work for you. My point is that if you do so many hours of chores, then you should give yourself a set number of hours to knit (or whatever else you enjoy) rather than simply whatever is ‘left’ at the end of the day. Otherwise you are putting yourself last and that is a crappy way to live for long. Also reward yourself for every pound you loose – it is difficult and you deserve to recognise your accomplishments! Best of luck…
    Now I’m off to clean a bathroom (you’re making me feel guilty!)

  30. Good grrl….smart grrl;-)

  31. I know how you feel about cleaning. UGGG. I don’t know if it has made it interesting, but at least less daunting and guilt inducing – I’ve found flylady.net.

  32. I know exactly what you mean about being so tired that you can’t even knit and you just have to lay there and think about knitting. If I could get knitting done by thinking about it I would have lots and lots more FO.

  33. Bathrooms and kitchens are the worst. Hope that they go quick for you and you can get some knitting time in.

  34. It’s like we’re channeling the same forces: discipline in eating, exercise and work which means not enough time to knit.
    You’re right discipline sucks (as does the heat).
    But it does mean getting stuff done. Good luck!

  35. IMNSHO, there’s nothing too expensive about a housekeeper/cleaning person. I would give up buying yarn if I had to continue to keep Renata. Remember, older IS smarter!!
    just crank up the a/c and pretend that it’s not 99 umpteen gazillion degrees outside with equal humidity — what’s that I hear? thunder? YAY!!!

  36. Good luck with the bathrooms. I hate doing bathrooms. bleh. I find loud distracting sing-along music to work best for me. And breaks, or else I frenzy myself out.
    I’m sorry about the heat and humidity. I really don’t envy you that, I grew up in the desert and I can’t take humidity, I just wilt. At least here in Oregon the humidity drops in the summer. We might not get rain for 3 months but at least the humidity isn’t insane. I thought I was tough, not really bothered by 90/100 degree temps when I was in New Mexico, but then I went with K to visit his family in Chicago in July and oh dear god. I see why they invented AC.

  37. Finally, someone else has the courage to say it: because I HATE SUMMER! I hate it on the East Coast, cause it’s humid and sticky; I hate it on the West Coast, because it’s like an oven and still has enough humidity to make me sweat. If I was rich enough, I’d live 6 months in each hemisphere and never have to suffer through another stinkin’ summer, ever again!
    Whew, that felt good! Now I must go clean a bathroom…

  38. I was kind of scared for a second as to where the link “grody” was going to take me (seeing that it was used in the context of toilets). I clicked anyway, of course.
    I hear you about the summer weather. It just saps the will to do anything out of me.

  39. Isn’t it wonderful how smarter comes with older, if you are lucky! I’m in the gotta clean up before I can hire someone to clean up stage. Actually, it is pretty clean, but there is stuff stacking up everywhere. Ummmm, yarn, was that yarn I saw on the washing machine and next to the postal scale in the mailing room, and is that a knitting needle in that chair over there which looks rather dangerous, etc. And I think that’s some new sock yarn on the copier and I swear I saw some in the bed, next to the tumbled stack of knitting books.
    Temporary answer to some of the above…cleaning products. Swiffer Dusters are fantastic. Throw-away toilet brushes are cool. And I just got a new container of flushable Scrubbing Bubbles WIPES. Dirty sink? Dirty toilet? whip one of those babies out and 20 seconds later whatever you cleaned is gleaming!

  40. I have 2 bathrooms, 2 kids, a DH, 2 dogs, 2 cats and a full time job. I don’t have a housekeeper but use the Flylady system. It’s at Flylady.com. It may not work for everyone but it did make life easy enough for me to find time to knit!.

  41. You need to do what you’re good at. Hire someone to clean the bathrooms, and go back to taking pictures. I so enjoy clicking into your blog and being able to see what you’ve been looking at.

  42. Kathy in KS says

    2 things. First, mostly the bathrooms are the smallest rooms in the house, so usually they’re faster than say cleaning the entire kitchen, even if it is as grody as the bathroom.
    Second, my cousin told me about a neat website that I have adopted partly. She does a 15 minute thing. Meaning, you can do anything for 15 minutes. So, what I do when I have a grody anything is to clean it in 15 minute spurts, followed by 15 or so minute breaks. Now, I find I can’t do very much knitting in 15 minutes, so I usually have to do it a bit longer to reward myself for the 15 minutes of cleaning. I usually find that in about 3 or 4 15 minute periods, most of what I needed to clean is done, or at least presentable. If you’re interested, it’s http://www.flylady.net. Have fun!

  43. I am so with you on not enough time and needing to be more disciplined… having said that best go and clean my bathroom (only one thankfully).
    Have a wonderful holiday with your sis and family.

  44. That was like reading the story of my whole week-housework piling up, bad eating from vacation is coming back to kick my butt, no knitting, VERY hot-but I did go buy a brand new vacuum today and I am going to call it my cleaning lady b/c I cannot afford one either. know you are not alone in your wars with discipline!!!

  45. This is so refreshing to hear!!! You have a very cool blog, you’re an AWESOME knitter and incredible photographer — it’s so nice to hear that you too have a weakness. 😉

  46. My college advisor once wrote a book in which she called that inner voice, the one that says, “Yes, I can do that!” her “Summa Voice”. It’s hard to turn the volume down on that voice.
    Learning your limits is important. As is a good cleaning woman.

  47. I can totally relate with you about summer- heat is unbearable to me. The late-night thinking about knitting… I’ve totally done that (not telling how often). Good luck with the bathrooms and have some fun with your family!!

  48. Usually, I read your blog and drool over pictures and then look at my pathetic knitting or house or whatever and get back to the real world. I’m sorry to see that you have a real world too. I liked my fantasies 🙂
    On the other hand, I’m totally with you on dirty bathrooms and the heat.

  49. Discipline realy sucks:(

  50. Go with your strengths in life. Photography, knitting, loving G.
    “Support the local economy” for the house cleaning. My cleaning service sends three guys (!) to the Pink Pagoda (only 2 bathrooms) and they are done in an hour (it’s a small house), and gone. I loose an entire day if I clean it. There were several (unsuccessful) free-lancers before arriving at the current plan.

  51. Just have to chime in on the Flylady.net recommendation. The notion of doing a little bit every day is odd at first, when you’re used to the spend-all-day cleaning, but it works.

  52. I used to have a wonderful cleaning lady named Marita who was absolutely the best. She not only cleaned everything but it shone as well. I used to watch her going down my street when she left, straightening everybody’s garbage cans on her way home. Luckily for me she was obsessive-compulsive 🙂 Sadly, I lost her because of her allergies to my two dogs and a cat.

  53. Ugh, cleaning the bathroom is my all-time least favorite chore, too. Hiring a housekeeper sounds like a good idea, doesn’t it?