Tashlich

October 4, 2005 By

L’Shana Tovah! Happy New Year!

While I am not the most religious of Jews (I married the son of a Greek Orthodox Priest for pete’s sake!), I am a sucker for tradition. For me, my judaism is my family – it’s my heritage – and something I cannot leave far behind. I identify as a Jew. I’m proud of it, and I make no excuses for it.

That said, I’m a twice a year Jew when it comes to synagogue. Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur. Why do I go? Because I think everyone needs a time of year set aside for reflection and repentence. Who among us has been the perfect individual – always kind to our family and friends and the strangers we meet? Not me. So I like to repent in my own way. I ask for forgiveness in my heart. I also really, really like the prayers. They’re soulful and mournful and old worldly and they’re only said once a year. On the High Holy Days, we use a different prayer book filled with prayers specific to the holidays. Kol Nidre is one of my absolute favorites, said on the evening of Yom Kippur. Done the right way (read: by a cantor I like) I can be moved to tears.

One of my favorite Rosh Hashanah traditions is Tashlich. Literally, the word means “you will cast away” and the way it works is that on the afternoon of the first day of Rosh Hashanah (unless it’s on a Saturday, but that’s a whole other ball of wax) you go down to the nearest body of flowing water and throw away your sins by tossing stale bread crumbs into the water. When we were little we used to go with my grandmother’s synagogue. We’d all walk as a group to Pennypack, following the rabbi, and throw away the bread my grandmother had been saving for weeks. Stale. Very stale bread. Then, on the way back, congregants would open their homes and we’d go from house to house for cookies and cakes and wine.

In the most recent years, it’s become a family event. We’d gather at my grandmother’s house and walk to the part of Pennypack creek that runs nearby and say our own prayers and toss our breadcrumbs and sins. I love this tradition.

So today, since I’m not with my family, I will walk to the Hackensack River that runs behind my house and toss some bread. For me, and my husband, and my family. I will make peace with myself for at least an afternoon. Forgiving my self is harder than forgiving anyone else for sure. And I will say the Shehecheyanu:

Ba-ruch A-tah Ado-noy Elo-heinu
Me-lech Ha-olom She-he-che-yanu
Ve-kee-ya-manu Ve-hi-gee-ya-nu
Liz-man Ha-zeh

Blessed are You,
our God, Creator of time and space,
who has supported us, protected us,
and brought us to this moment.

The Shehecheyanu is one of those all around wonderful prayers. Jews are encouraged to say it during times of unusual circumstances, at milestone life events (weddings, bar mitzvahs, brit milah). I’m pretty sure I said it at my wedding. And this afternoon I will say it – thanking God for getting me to this place in my life.

The sleeve fits on the Almost Everyday Cardigan! Jen came over yesterday and I did a hasty sew-up job and now it’s blocking for the real sew-in. I cast on for the second sleeve, but my wrist is bothering me, so I think I will take the day off today. And Jen also helped me see that the size 8 needles on my new shawl are working out just fine! Pictures when I get close to something resembling anything.

Have a lovely day!

Filed Under: Life, Photographs

What’s the Story, Morning Glory?

October 3, 2005 By

Remember that scene in Bye, Bye Birdie? The one where everyone’s on the phone trading gossip about Hugo and Kim? I was thinking about that song this weekend because it was a blogger phone fest! Ann, Wendy, Vicki, Jen! Great to gab with you girls! Can’t wait to see you soon!

It was a good weekend overall. Saturday I made some good headway with my work and Saturday night we had a wonderful meal at Gigino’s. It’s a little Italian place in Tribeca – on Greenwhich Street – and we’ve never had a bad meal there. It’s been consistently outstanding for a long time. A long time. I started with my favorite salad – sliced pears so thin you can see through them, some kind of parmaesan cheese, also sliced thin, arugula, walnuts, pomegranates all sprinkled with white balsamic. I LOVE it! Then I had a (large!) rack of lamp roasted in their brick oven with peppers and onions and string beans and roasted potatoes in a kind of au jus sauce. The potatoes were spectacularly crunchy on the outside and like mashed on the inside. Warm chocolate cake for dessert. To die for!

And then we went shopping for music – ends up Virgin Records at Union Square is open until 1 AM. I couldn’t get over how busy it was outside. Okay, granted, we were in the Village near NYU on a Saturday night on a beautiful night in October – but it was packed! Craziness I tell you. We came away from Virgin with some Johnny Cash, Rosanne Cash and some Ray Charles. Excellent!

Did anyone catch the Saturday Night Live season premiere? I thought it was pretty damn funny. I watched some of it before we went to bed (it was late! I taped it.) I was laughing my ass off. LOVED, loved the Morgan Stanely mock commercial. Please tell me you saw it!

Yesterday, we beached it!

Those pictures are straight out of the camera (the point and shoot.) The sky was the most amazing blue – it was a perfect day. I don’t think I broke a sweat, but I was warm and cool (you get that right?) and I just love the beach in October. I hope we get to go back a couple times before it really is too cold. That’s me knitting on a new shawl. Or at least knitting the first seven rows over and over and over and over again until I finally got the very strange 3 to 2 decrease that the author has developed. You know how that goes. And now that I’ve done about 26 rows, I’m not sure I want to do it on size 8 needles. I’m using the same Twinkletoes yarn (different color) I used for DFS, only the shawl is a garter stitch pattern (knit the odd rows). The pattern calls for Jamieson and Smith 2 ply jumper weight, which seems like a really loose ply, but still fingering weight – so the trade off should be okay. I may try it with size 7 needles and see if I like it better. I know, I could swatch, but WHATEVER! Where’s the excitement in that?

Speaking of frustrating knits, what the fuck! You’d think a simple drop shoulder sleeve would be a no brainer. Does that mean I acutally have a brain because I can’t get the damn thing to work? If you recall, I decided to do a modified drop shoulder on the Almost Everyday Cardigan. I bound off 8 stitches at each arm and continued straight to the shoulder. Well, when I increased the sleeve to 94 stitches (which matched the cast on for the back) I barely got to the bind off for the arm when I sewed it in really quickly. Back to the drawing board. Originally I had done 15 increases (one every end) every 4 rows and then 11 increases every six rows. I ripped back and ended up with 15 every 4 rows, 5 every 6 rows and then another 10 every 4 rows. I think. I’ve got it all written down. And I was smart – I did a knit into the front and back increase so I can see them really easily. Got me to 102 stitches. Just barely worked – I still needed it to be longer to get me all the way across the bind off. So I ripped again back half of the final every 4 row increases and did every other row increases. Same number of rows, but an extra ten stitches. I didn’t sew it in yet, but it looks like it worked. How crazy is that? Please don’t tell me I should rip and start the whole thing over. I think I can get it to work and it’s supposed to be oversized and all. Damn though. This sweater should be done already. And to add insult to injury, I’m worried I won’t have enough yarn. I think I need another hank.

Do you have a madeleine? I do. Last night I sent G to the store to pick up some Acne soap (my face is breaking out so bad!) and some candy. They didn’t have these new Junior Mints – but they aren’t mint – they’re caramel inside and they may be the best candy ever! Junior Caramels! I told him instead to get me some gummy bears. So he brought home the CVS store brand kind. As soon as I saw the bag, I knew!

When I was a young girl – I don’t know prepubescant – maybe 10 or 11 – I used to ride my bike to this Polish candy store. They sold gummy bears (the first time I’d ever seen them) in plastic sandwhich bags with a twist tie on the top. I’d bring the bag home and climb into bed and eat them while I read with my clock radio playing music. To this day whenever I hear certain songs I immediately remember a particular book. Back to the gummy bears – with the proliferation over the years of gummy candy (worms, aligators dinosaurs, you name it) the gummy bear has been basterdized in a lot of ways. Rarely can I find the exact bear I used to get at the Polish candy store. They’re very chewy, almost hard, and after awhile your jaw hurts. They have a very subtle flavor too. But they are THE.MOST.SATISFYING. candy ever. Georgie brought them to me last night – the EXACT kind – and I swear I almost cried. My madeleine. What’s yours?

I leave you (wow I was chatty today!) with the picture that greeted me when I awoke this morning. We’re
completely fogged in:

It seems like it’s starting to lift and I’m going to go run a bit later. Some blocking today and maybe some seaming and I may or may not cast on for the second sleeve. My left wrist hurts a bit today so I may take a break. Or cast on for a second sock. Or find the first one (I lost the first sunshine sock. My house is such a mess.)

Have a great day!

PS – Here’s what it looks like now – about two hours after the first picture:

Wild huh? I love weather.

Filed Under: Almost Everyday, Miscellaneous, Photographs

Foliage

September 30, 2005 By

For La and anyone else starved for fall colors….

All pulled from the archives – the leaves haven’t really changed much here yet. But it’s cold today, so soon….

Have a great weekend! Can you believe it’s October already? YAY!

ETA: Found over at Norma’s:

1) Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, liposuction and air conditioning.

2) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.

3) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.

4) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn’t changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can’t marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.

5) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Britney Spears’ 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.

6) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn’t be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren’t full yet, and the world needs more children.

7) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.

8) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That’s why we have only one religion in America.

9) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That’s why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.

10) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven’t adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans…
—

Re-post this if you believe in legalizing gay marriage

———-

Last night I watched a PBS show on the Sixties and I was thinking about what issues would get me out on the street marching. No doubt about it, gay marriage is one of them. To me, it has nothing to do with love – it has to do with civil rights, property, legal status as Americans. Marriage, as defined by the laws in this country, have nothing to do with love. Any man and woman can marry regardless of their personal feelings for each other – it’s about MONEY, people. That’s it. And everybody should just share the fucking wealth.

Filed Under: Photographs, politics and other crap

kissing in the car a real one*

September 23, 2005 By

For Sandy of the Skies:

2005-09-22T18:24:04-0:500

2005-09-22T18:42:26-0:500

2005-09-22T19:13:27-0:500

All photos were taken from my balcony, looking west, out to the Hackensack River. I used the exif data to confirm picture times, but I think the clock in my camera is off. I’d like to think it’s fast by about 30 seconds. 😉

And since we’re showing off sky pictures, I thought I’d pull out some of my favorites over the years. As I mentioned, my apartment faces due west and we get some of THE MOST SPECTACULAR sunsets you’ve ever seen. I think it’s because of all the chemicals in the air. You know, New Joisey.


That last one is one of my absolute favorites. The city in the distance is Newark and the way the clouds and sun were it literally looked like the city was on fire. Amazing.

Okay. Now onto business. So I made a swatch. And guess what?



NOTHING HAPPENED! I ended up with the same exact stitch count I had before I blocked. 4.5 stitches to the inch or 18 stitches per 4 inches. Did I do something wrong? I wet the swatch pretty thoroughly and laid it in a towel, stomped around on it and laid it out to dry. Was I supposed to do something else? Anyway, whatever, I’m sick of this – the damn cardigan could’ve been finished by now and I want it for Rhinebeck, so today I’m ripping out what I have and starting over. I’m probably going to add about 10 stitches to everything. The directions for 4 st/in say cast on like 80+ stitches and 5 st/in 100+ stitches so 90+ it is! I still like the yarn though – it got much softer. A little fuzzy, but nice and soft.

*The title of this post is brought to you by a google search where I came up fifth on the first page. I thought it sounded poetic and oh so Bruce. I love kissing in cars too. G and I did a lot of that early on. Not so much anymore, but sometimes.

Filed Under: Almost Everyday, Photographs

6:23 PM

September 22, 2005 By

That’s the time Autumn arrives. My plan is to step outside on my balcony and take a picture of the sky at precisely 6:23 PM. I’ve been waiting a long time for this, I don’t want to miss it. But, Sandy, if I win the Gold Hill, I’d like you to send it to Norma. She definitely needs it more than me.

Thanks, all, for stating the obvious. I started the AEC swatch yesterday. Bastards. The whole point of screwing up the first sleeve was so I wouldn’t have to make a swatch! Luckily, the kids (all five of them – the joy of families traveling together!) and their exhausted parents stopped by yesterday on their way home from vacation and I didn’t have time to put the ball winder or swift away before they got there. So we frogged the errant sleeve together. Everyone got to turn the handle for the count of five. Max was pretty funny. Every time they started to play with a new toy he would annouce that he got to go first because I was HIS Aunt Cara.

When they left I cast on for the swatch. Ugh. Luckily I had class to occupy my mind last night because otherwise I’d be really bored and kind of pissed. So far I’m getting about 4.5 stitches to the inch. Which is pretty much what I’ve been getting on the AEC body. Vicki asked me yesterday what my gut said and my gut says rip it out and start over with an extra ten stitches. But my gut likes to knit larger than I am, you know, body issues and all, so I’m trying to resist. I’m thinking, maybe, it will be okay after all. We’ll see when I’m done with the swatch.

Class was good! They laughed! Which is a great improvement over the last class. They seem enthusiastic and asked questions – it’s so disconcerting when they sit there and stare at you. I feel like such a freak. I was mildly panicked at the start, but that quickly went away. Self-depricating humor is always a life saver.

I’ve got these guys here working on the tile wall in one of the showers and already I’m pissed. First they’re an hour late. Second, well, second, I don’t like people in my house. Especially when I’m going to have to leave them here by themselves.

Oh – I almost forgot! My sock pal, Leslie, got her socks yesterday! She sent me the sweetest email about them. She’s a reader so she watched me knit her socks! How much fun! And today is her birthday, so happy birthday Leslie! I’m so glad you love them. It was a real pleasure to knit for you. (Leslie doesn’t have a blog, but I’ve invited her to send in a picture with her new socks. C’mon Leslie! I want to see you IN the socks!)

Still no socks for me. Maybe today?
Happy Fall!

Filed Under: Miscellaneous, Photographs

Start Me Up

September 13, 2005 By

That’s what I need this morning – someone to start me up. I woke up around 6AM feeling completely nauseated. I knew right away it wasn’t anxiety nausea, but stomach nausea. See, now, I’m an expert on nausea. I’ve often compared myself to Sartre’s sad sack character in his extremely nauseating book, Nausea. There was a time in my life when I did not leave my house without a bag of some sort to throw up in. (I’m not kidding. It was years. I woke up every morning feeling sick.) This was anxiety nausea. That’s long since gone and I’ve seen moved on to bigger and better ways of torturing myself (bad thoughts and all that good stuff.) So I know the difference between psychosomatic nausea and the real honest to god grab the bucket kind. (I should note that in all that time I felt nauseated, I rarely, if ever threw up. It’s all about ANTICIPATORY ANXIETY, people. That’s the silent killer, really.)

They say that the mind and the stomach are very closely releated. In fact, the stomach has it’s own nervous system – the Enteric System. This is why you get butterflies in your stomach – also where the term “gut instinct” comes from and why when you’re scared you immediately have to take a crap. Let’s just say I have a highly honed enteric system.

Anyway. I’m feeling sick today. It’s slowly passing and may have everything to do with major PMS. You know the kind, where your boobs start hurting the minute you ovulate and you have to make sure they’re secured to your body before you get out of bed in the morning lest gravity causes intense pain. You don’t know that kind? Lucky you. I’m sure I’ll feel better as the day progresses. I have to. We’ve got VIP tickets to see The Stones tonight at the Garden. Yes, that’s right. Honestly, I don’t even really like The Stones that much (Blasphemy I know, but whatever. I don’t really like U2 either. So shoot me.) but the tickets were free and the seats are supposed to be good and there may be a Xanax in my future so wish my stomach some good thoughts.

I was bad yesterday (no working) and knit, knit, knit on DFS. Funny thing about those shawls, especially the ones that start off small and grow, grow, grow. It takes a LOT longer to get through a row. I’m a couple rows into the LAST section. I’m not going over the ten. For the longest time I was thinking it wasn’t going to be that big, but it’s suddenly pretty darn big and I still have a ways to go. Then there’s the points and the I-cord edging and it won’t be done for a couple days yet. And I so want it done.

In the meantime I can’t stop thinking about my red, red Manos and the Everyday Cardi and I want it NOW. So I may just wind up a hank and swatch a little bit today. Or at least take the yarn out and fondle it and read through the pattern. It should be a really fast knit. At this point #8 needles will feel like tree trunks and it’s all stockinette so whippee! Let’s go!

And this is for Kay. Wave Hill. Be there or be square.

Filed Under: Miscellaneous, Photographs

Fantasy World

September 12, 2005 By

It’s fantasy all the time these days. I’ve got about six rows and two repeats left if I’m going to stick with the 10 repeats for the shawl. I haven’t even broken into the second hank of Twinkletoes yarn, so we’ll see. Depends on if and when and how much I have to use of that second hank. The pattern is really a dream to knit. I almost think it’s easier than the Flower Basket Shawl – if only because I’m using stitch markers at every 12 stitch repeat. Of course, yesterday evening, (my goal was to finish the 8th repeat before the night was through) I messed up the border stitches before the first bind off in the repeat (every 10 rows you bind off five stitches for two rows to create the points on the border) and it was KILLING me. So I ended up ripping back a few rows to reknit it. In the end, I think the stitches might have been just loose, but I couldn’t have it. I feel much better now even though my goal wasn’t met. I’m hoping to at least get through 9 today – I want this finished before the week’s out. I’m in that end of project frenzy mode where I can taste the FO and I want to be there YESTERDAY! You all know what I mean. I should just sit here all day and finish it, but there’s work to be done. I need to run today before it gets too hot and I need to do laundry and some work and then I can knit for the rest of the day.

It was a pretty full weekend. I had a birthday party to shoot on Saturday about an hour away – my wonderful husband came with me for the ride (I hate to drive on highways alone) and lucky for me there was a beach close by. So he played tennis in the morning and sat on the beach in the afternoon. Perfect day for him – and perfect for me, because I didn’t have to feel too much like a loser wanting a companion for the drive. And he drove back, so I could knit a bit in the car.

I’m always amazed after a job at how PHYSICAL a shoot is. My whole body hurt after the party. First, the camera’s heavy – really heavy (at least 13 pounds with the big lens on – add the flash and bracket and we may be up to 15) – and I’m carrying it for two hours straight. Then we’ve got the fact that I hold it like a spaz – actually backwards when shooting vertically (so that the shutter button is under the camera not on top) – so that my left elbow sticks out – and finally, when you’re photographing children, you NEED TO BE ON THEIR LEVEL. Parents out there – if you hire a professional photographer and they don’t get on the ground with your kid, well, I’m not saying you won’t like the pictures, but…. I come home from a job and I’ve got grass stains on my knees, my ass, dirt in my hair. So it’s up and down and up and down and I’m not a kid anymore.

Saturday night I was asleep by 10:30. That’s about two hours early for me.

Also, I was asked this weekend to do a really, really, really important shoot for some really, really, really special girls! I’m super excited about it – but for now I can’t talk about it. I promise though, as soon as it’s all kosher, you’ll hear me shouting about it! It’s just SO SUPER COOL! (What a geek I am!) I’m completely thrilled I can help out the cause.

This weekend, while knitting away, I thought about my upcoming projects and listed them out in my head. I thought I might list them here, too, so I can look back and see all the things I didn’t accomplish. 😉

Dad’s Aran Sweater
Manos Everyday Cardigan
Cardigans for the WH girls
Bohemia Aran Cardigan
SOCKS (especially socks for Jolie)
Knits for the kids (cardigan for Charlotte with yarn from MDSW – and especially ELI! He’s never had a handknit from me.)
Elizabeth Bag in Donegal Tweed
Manos My So Called Scarf
Orange Spice Mittens
My own shawl design

Ambitious no? Ugh. So many knits. So little time.

Filed Under: Diamond Fantasy Shawl, Photographs

Seasoned

September 2, 2005 By

Have a safe, productive, peaceful weekend. Hopefully nice knits to show on Tuesday.

Love,
Cara

Filed Under: Photographs

September

September 1, 2005 By

Oh how I’ve longed for thee!

September is so bittersweet. That first glorious end of summer day – warm, dry, blue, blue sky and I’m immediately back to that morning four years ago. I was psyching myself up for a run, doing some work. I hadn’t turned on the TV yet. My father called. At that time, my father never called unless it was bad. And it was.

Watching the utter devastation on the television last night, I was reminded of a rainy gray day in the aftermath. The reporter was saying that sometimes the best thing to do is fill your car up with bottled water and clothes and supplies and drive them to the nearest place in need and just give it away. That’s exactly what I did four years ago. I got in my car, drove to my warehouse store and filled my car with water and gatorade and batteries and t-shirts and whatever else was on the “list.” I drove my treasures to a drop off point, the whole time the smoke from ground zero visible in my windshield.

There’s something inherently fascinating about devastation so extreme. It’s numbing almost, seeing image upon image and not being able to FEEL what they feel. But last night I connected – I was overwhelmed at the memory of driving in my car to help, but not being able to escape, for even a second, the horror of what had happened.

I’ve never been to New Orleans, or the Gulf Coast, but I know its importance in American History and Culture. I pray these events are only a tremendous setback, and not an inevitable loss.

Visit Margene for details on giving.

Filed Under: Life, Photographs

The Agony of Defeat

August 11, 2005 By

Short Rows are killing me again. NO, not that Short Rows. Sock heel short rows. Yesterday I attempted both Wendy’s version and Alison’s PG-R version and while I enjoyed the short rows – I didn’t enjoy the holes that formed when joining in the round again – no matter how many stitches I knit together or how many stitches I picked up. Also, when I tried it on, holes and all, I don’t think I liked how it fit. Damn Short Rows! They’ve become my white whale for sure. So I started doing a regular gusset heel – I mean, I like it so far in the socks I’ve made and it works for the master, so who am I to argue, right? I would like to try an afterthought heel though. That might work.

Anyway, the sock’s going a road trip today. We’re heading to the beach for a little sun and work, believe it or not. I’ve got a beach shoot. Yipee!

Filed Under: Photographs, Socks, Sunshine Socks
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