Angels on Either Side

October 31, 2005 By

Right now, I’m on the floor in my nephew’s room. To my left is one sweet sleeping niece, to my right one sweet sleeping nephew. God I love these kids and I’ve missed them! The baby can sit up on his own and clap his hands, all dimply and amazing. Halloween was a blast, with two parades (one replete with marching bands and everything!) and lots of trick or treating. We’d leave one house, and Charlotte would ask where are we going now, and I’d say another house and her face would just light the way throught the dark. She LOVES candy! And Max, poor Max, won’t TOUCH chocolate. Thank goodness for those chocolate free houses!

I didn’t finish the Deadhead sock before the end of Socktober. I’m about to start on the toe. It will be done tomorrow. Once again I’m freaking out about enough yarn – but I’ll stop at the post office to check it on their scale. I’ll be back sometime tomorrow, I think, with Halloween pictures. Dark Vader and the Butterfly Princess don’t disappoint.

Happy Halloween!

Filed Under: Life

We interrupt our regularly scheduled sock rocking

October 29, 2005 By

to bring you baby news!


Baby’s First Koigu!

At about 5AM this morning, Baby BOY G arrived! I spoke to Jen a couple of hours ago and baby and Mama and Daddy are all doing great. Baby G weighs a bit over 4lbs. and is in the NICU right now (or he may be out by the time you read this) but only because he’s a wee one and it’s hospital policy. I’ll update more information when I get it. Jen had to hang up because they came in to move her. And yes, I didn’t get a name. Sue me.

Go on over to Jen’s blog and wish her congratulations!

CONGRATULATIONS JEN AND DAVE AND OSCAR!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABY BOY G!

ETA: I spoke to Jen again – Baby G doesn’t have a name yet! Also, things aren’t going as smoothly as originally thought. The baby’s still in the NICU – he’s having some respitory trouble and they’re doing blood tests for infection. Jen says the docs say he’ll be in the hospital at least a week. She’ll be home Monday though. It’s tough for her, but she sounds okay. I think she’s barely seen the baby – hence no name. She wants a good look at him before she decides. Dave has spent more time with him and Jen says he feels much better about the whole situation. More updates as I get them. Baby G is going to be fine – it’s just going to take a little bit to get him used to being outside! Hugs and Kisses Sweet Boy! To you and your Mommy and Daddy!

Filed Under: Life

Wicked Good

October 27, 2005 By

The show yesterday was very, very good. We had awesome seats, smack dab in the middle, on an aisle, with lots of leg room. Before I left the house I used some of this shit – Georgie told me it was the bomb and damn he was right. Cleared my head RIGHT out. I could breathe! (Although a google search on Zicam has brought up numerous lawsuits about loss of smell. Great. I have a very highly honed sense of smell. But it looks like the one that does the damage has zinc in it (the preventative one) and mine doesn’t have zinc in it. Whew. Now I really can breathe again.) Back to the show – I lasted pretty well through the first act – blowing my nose like the lady I am, quietly, demurely. I let my lozenges melt on my tongue without any loud or unsightly chewing.

The second act all bets were off. I had to sneeze a million times and I’m one of those loud sneezers so I was trying hard not to sneeze loud – you know – holding it in and all – and I think I threw out my back restraining myself. The shit that was the bomb wore off about half way through the second song in the second act and my nose blowing got louder and louder the closer we got to the finale. My head hurt. My neck hurt. My nose burned. My back itched (whenever I get a cold I get this weird itching on my back. Especially after I cough.) I felt like crap.

But the show was great! It was a lot of fun – the sets were magnificent. I think the sound left something to be desired, but the actors were very good. (Although I felt like the Glinda actress was channeling Kristin Chenoweth instead of making the part her own.) The story was very well done – except I don’t understand why the slippers weren’t RUBY? Why wouldn’t they be ruby? And I was a little upset about the whole scarecrow thing. All in all a good night – I wish I hadn’t felt so sick towards the end. My dreams last night – flying monkeys. ‘Nuff said.

What am I forgetting? Oh yeah. Kay. Lovely Kay. And the equally lovely Ann. Ann you were totally there last night. I ran my little heart out trying to get to the Knit Lit III reading in time (traffic was a BITCH with a capital B) – and by gosh I made it. Lucky for me, Kay was last. And she finished in just enough time to take a picture of my socks and then I had to dash to the theater. Kay’s right – the placement of the reading in the store was a bit strange. There were huge windows looking out to 42nd Street behind the readers – so a million and half people stopped and stared at all the weirdos in the audience knitting. It was quite entertaining actually. (I swear, Kay, I heard every word you said!)

All in all it was a lovely night out, you know, besides all the snot.



Speaking of snot, my brain was so preoccupied with phlegm and taking over the world, that I forgot that yesterday was MY BLOGIVERSARY!!!! Yes, my friends, you’ve been lucky enough to have me for a whole year. It all started on October 26, 2004 under the unassuming name, Purls of Wisdom. I quickly found that beyond pretentious (like I have any wisdom) and changed over to January One right quick. And here I am.

It’s all Jen‘s fault. She and I met online in a fertility forum and quickly became REAL LIFE friends. She had a blog. I didn’t even know what one was really. But soon I was blogging away. Becky was one of the first people to link to me (in her sidebar no less!) I remember how thrilled and grateful I was when she noticed my photographs and my knits. Thanks Becky! Cassie was the first blogger I met in real life. We met a few times at the place next door to Purl for tea and lemonade. Thanks Cassie for taking a chance on a blogger from New Jersey.

Blogging opened up a whole new KNITTING world for me – patterns, yarns, HELP. I’m a much better knitter now than I ever would have been had I not started blogging. MUCH BETTER.

But the best part about blogging – the people I’ve met. (Here comes the gross part. Be prepared.) I love my blog because I can bitch, I can be happy, I can cry – and people keep coming back! They like me! They really like me! I’ve never laughed so hard in my life because of the people I’ve met through blogging. People all over the world that actually ARE as crazy and funny and sane and nice and generous and REAL as I’d like to think I am. So thank you all for making this a great blogging year.

Now, on to the contest (because what’s a blog birthday without presents!) I’m going to push myself here. Do something that seems really big and beyond what I would usually do. I’m going to knit for someone. And because this week has been all about the SOX, I’m going to knit the winner a pair of socks in whatever SOCKS THAT ROCK colorway they choose. That’s right. Understand this though – there’s no deadline on this knit. I’m notorious at getting prize winnings out late and these socks will be no exception. I would hope that you will get them before the next blogiversary (that’s kind of a joke) but no guarantees. BUT YOU WILL GET THEM. I never go back on my word. Also, rumor has it that there’s been some kind of run on Socks That Rock over at The Fold. Beats me why that would be happening, but alas, it’s true. 😉

Okay. Here’s how you can win. My birthday (my real birthday) is officially 66 days away. I’m really bad at receiving gifts – I’d usually rather just go out and get it myself. But, if you’ve been reading along for the past year, maybe you have an idea of what would be the PERFECT gift for me. Leave a comment with said gift. Can be knitting related, but it doesn’t have to be. My idea of a GREAT gift is something I wouldn’t necessarily buy for myself, but that once it’s in my hands I’m not sure how I ever lived without it. So dig DEEP! A winner will be chosen at random using that random generator thingy that I’ve used before – please only one entry per person. (They’ll be some runners ups too.) I will close the comments November 1. Exactly two months until I turn 36. (WHAT?!) Have fun! And thank you for being such wonderful readers!

Filed Under: Life

Pain in The Freakin’….

October 6, 2005 By

The dream is over:

But at least I’ve got some good pain relief:

I don’t know. I’ve decided I’m not going to push on the Almost Everyday Cardigan for Rhinebeck. As much as that devastates me. I’d rather it not be ready, than not be able to knit at all. Although morning might not be a good time to evaluate these things. My hand hurt much more when I woke up this morning than it did all day yesterday (not to mention my back.) G says it’s because everything gets stiff overnight and warm during the day. So I’ve got this little brace on (I actually switched out the one in the picture above to a different one.) G is so good when it comes to injuries. Well, unfortunately, he’s got A LOT of experience. We went to the drug store last night and I tried on a million different braces and he had me get all the ones I liked, including one that’s a hot and cold wrap. So I’m going to wear the brace while I’m at the computer and when I attempt to knit and we’ll see how it goes. If I’m in pain – that’s it. I’m done. Thanks everyone for the advice and exercises. I’m so SAD!

I am going to Purl today to buy that extra hank (or two – yes I’m paranoid) of Manos just in case I can get the sweater done. JUST IN CASE! And I’ll see if I can get buttons this week – maybe today, we’ll see.

Feel bad for me. Feel very, very bad for me. 😉

Filed Under: Life

Tashlich

October 4, 2005 By

L’Shana Tovah! Happy New Year!

While I am not the most religious of Jews (I married the son of a Greek Orthodox Priest for pete’s sake!), I am a sucker for tradition. For me, my judaism is my family – it’s my heritage – and something I cannot leave far behind. I identify as a Jew. I’m proud of it, and I make no excuses for it.

That said, I’m a twice a year Jew when it comes to synagogue. Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur. Why do I go? Because I think everyone needs a time of year set aside for reflection and repentence. Who among us has been the perfect individual – always kind to our family and friends and the strangers we meet? Not me. So I like to repent in my own way. I ask for forgiveness in my heart. I also really, really like the prayers. They’re soulful and mournful and old worldly and they’re only said once a year. On the High Holy Days, we use a different prayer book filled with prayers specific to the holidays. Kol Nidre is one of my absolute favorites, said on the evening of Yom Kippur. Done the right way (read: by a cantor I like) I can be moved to tears.

One of my favorite Rosh Hashanah traditions is Tashlich. Literally, the word means “you will cast away” and the way it works is that on the afternoon of the first day of Rosh Hashanah (unless it’s on a Saturday, but that’s a whole other ball of wax) you go down to the nearest body of flowing water and throw away your sins by tossing stale bread crumbs into the water. When we were little we used to go with my grandmother’s synagogue. We’d all walk as a group to Pennypack, following the rabbi, and throw away the bread my grandmother had been saving for weeks. Stale. Very stale bread. Then, on the way back, congregants would open their homes and we’d go from house to house for cookies and cakes and wine.

In the most recent years, it’s become a family event. We’d gather at my grandmother’s house and walk to the part of Pennypack creek that runs nearby and say our own prayers and toss our breadcrumbs and sins. I love this tradition.

So today, since I’m not with my family, I will walk to the Hackensack River that runs behind my house and toss some bread. For me, and my husband, and my family. I will make peace with myself for at least an afternoon. Forgiving my self is harder than forgiving anyone else for sure. And I will say the Shehecheyanu:

Ba-ruch A-tah Ado-noy Elo-heinu
Me-lech Ha-olom She-he-che-yanu
Ve-kee-ya-manu Ve-hi-gee-ya-nu
Liz-man Ha-zeh

Blessed are You,
our God, Creator of time and space,
who has supported us, protected us,
and brought us to this moment.

The Shehecheyanu is one of those all around wonderful prayers. Jews are encouraged to say it during times of unusual circumstances, at milestone life events (weddings, bar mitzvahs, brit milah). I’m pretty sure I said it at my wedding. And this afternoon I will say it – thanking God for getting me to this place in my life.

The sleeve fits on the Almost Everyday Cardigan! Jen came over yesterday and I did a hasty sew-up job and now it’s blocking for the real sew-in. I cast on for the second sleeve, but my wrist is bothering me, so I think I will take the day off today. And Jen also helped me see that the size 8 needles on my new shawl are working out just fine! Pictures when I get close to something resembling anything.

Have a lovely day!

Filed Under: Life, Photographs

September

September 1, 2005 By

Oh how I’ve longed for thee!

September is so bittersweet. That first glorious end of summer day – warm, dry, blue, blue sky and I’m immediately back to that morning four years ago. I was psyching myself up for a run, doing some work. I hadn’t turned on the TV yet. My father called. At that time, my father never called unless it was bad. And it was.

Watching the utter devastation on the television last night, I was reminded of a rainy gray day in the aftermath. The reporter was saying that sometimes the best thing to do is fill your car up with bottled water and clothes and supplies and drive them to the nearest place in need and just give it away. That’s exactly what I did four years ago. I got in my car, drove to my warehouse store and filled my car with water and gatorade and batteries and t-shirts and whatever else was on the “list.” I drove my treasures to a drop off point, the whole time the smoke from ground zero visible in my windshield.

There’s something inherently fascinating about devastation so extreme. It’s numbing almost, seeing image upon image and not being able to FEEL what they feel. But last night I connected – I was overwhelmed at the memory of driving in my car to help, but not being able to escape, for even a second, the horror of what had happened.

I’ve never been to New Orleans, or the Gulf Coast, but I know its importance in American History and Culture. I pray these events are only a tremendous setback, and not an inevitable loss.

Visit Margene for details on giving.

Filed Under: Life, Photographs

It’s all good…

August 31, 2005 By

from Diego to the Bay.

Although I’ve always thought it should be “from Diego to the Hood.” Whateva.

Saw the doc, plans are in motion, had a few more hours of peace and back to normal last night. I’m not expecting any overnight cures – trying to keep things in perspective, but I do believe I see the light at the end of this tunnel. Thank you again for all your comments and support. I’m glad to know that I can make someone else feel just a little bit better about their own craziness. (Is that redundant? Their own? Sounds okay. I’m a little loopy this morning. 😉 )

Watch out WORLD! I’m coming back!

Filed Under: Life

Fixin’ A Hole

August 29, 2005 By

Since I haven’t been able to fix the hole in my sanity, I decided, as a diversion, I’d fix the hole in the pinwheel blanket.

Remember this?

It’s the baby blanket I made for my nephew, who’s now, oh I don’t know, FOUR MONTHS OLD! Have his gentle fingers ever touched the blanket? NO. Has he ever been wrapped in the love I infused it with when I made it? NO. It has sat in my den, lonely and unloved, because of this:

Time to fix this bad boy. First, I ripped back the bound off edge just past the holes.

Then, with the live stitches now secured on the needle, I started dropping stitches.

And then I picked them up, one by one.

Here are a couple close-ups of it finished:

It’s not the greatest fix in the world, and honestly, I don’t think Eli will care. I actually don’t really like the blanket. I mean, I like it – I like the pattern and I like the yarn – but not necessarily together. You know what I mean? If you’re looking for truly inspiring pinwheels, Larissa’s got a great gallery going on. I think, eventually, Eli will get another blanket. One I’m happy with.

Okay, well that didn’t take nearly enough time, LOL. Trying to get through the days here folks! I did cast on the front of Short Rows, I’ve got about eight more rows before the first set of short rows starts. And I’ve been enjoying The Diamond Fantasy Shawl. I’d highly recommend it to people starting out with lace. It calls for a sportweight yarn so you don’t have to fuss with lace weight and the charts are really nice to follow. I’ve only had one mistake (knock wood) so far and it was because I threw in an extra yarn over.

Don’t Believe the HYPE!

That concludes the knitting portion of today’s post, so you can leave now if you don’t feel like hearing about my misery. That’s right – I’m STILL MISERABLE! I’ve gotten some nice emails from you good folks thanking me for sharing this part of my life, so I feel like why not?

Here’s a little bit of the problem – imagine you’re standing on a high ledge (doesn’t even have to be that high) and you’re looking over the side. What’s the first thought that comes to your mind? What if I fall over? Or what if I were to jump off? I’m sure everyone has thoughts like this – it’s the situation – the thought comes in and goes out and bang you move on to the outfit the woman to the right is wearing (what is she CRAZY?!) What I do is think those same normal thoughts – but somewhere inside a twist happens and the next thing I know I’m wondering if I WANT to jump off. Or WHAT IF I lost control and jumped off? Then I’m thinking what the hell is wrong with me and then I CAN’T STOP thinking and the next thing I know I’m in a panic attack. And then I can’t get out of my head. The thoughts just go over and over themselves and no amount of rationalizing (They’re just THOUGHTS! They don’t MEAN anything!) can help. Eventually I can get out of my head – but that’s where the anticipatory anxiety rears it’s ugly head. Those niggling little thoughts like – you don’t have the thoughts now, but WHAT IF they come back? Ooooh. They would be BAD. So you worry so much that the thoughts will come that, DUH, they DO come back.

This weekend I played 5,301 hands of solitaire. Trying to get out of my FUCKING head. Thoughts on high balconies are nothing – try adding in some about your precious home life that brings you peace and security and that’ll really knock the wind out of you. DON’T BELIEVE THE HYPE!

I’m getting angry about the whole thing. I haven’t seen my shrink in over three weeks and I finally have an appointment tomorrow. I’m also not eating so well, which only perpetuates the whole cycle for me. I can’t eat when I’m anxious – I get really nauseous. Weight Watchers Schmeight Watchers. Try some crazy when you want to drop that last ten pounds.

I’d spin, but my body is so tense I don’t know what I’d do to the yarn. The kink could probably launch a space shuttle.

Please don’t leave me comments like feel better soon. I WILL get over this. I always do. I’m fighting to get my life back. It’s only a temporary situation. I KNOW this – it’s only when you’re in it that you think you’ll never get out. In reality, I do all the things I need to do during the day – I’m working, I’m living – if you saw me walking down the street you’d thing – wow – who’s that hot girl? (You know, because I’ve lost all this weight! 😉 ) I only blog about this to possibly help someone else. I’m past the pity stage, so don’t throw any this way.

Filed Under: Life, Pinwheel

World Peace

August 23, 2005 By

I’ve decided that if I spent half of the time and energy I spend on my anxiety, worrying about whether or not I’ll be anxious, thinking about NOT thinking – well, frankly, I’d have found the solution to world peace by now. Either that or I’d be building the Google Elevator.

Something, anything more productive than driving yourself crazy and then having to pull yourself out of the hole.

Margene, zen master, has an interesting post on Motivation today. I’m thinking in a similar, yet opposite direction. What kind of LACK of motivation allows you to slip down that slope – fully conscious of what’s going to happen THROUGH YEARS OF EXPERIENCE – and yet you can’t get off your ass to stop it? Do I need to feel like shit for some reason? Am I going to come out the other side with some great revelation? I KNOW how to stop it – even before it really starts, yet I let it happen. Granted, there were lots of things this summer working against me (Hello? People who control the Weather?) but still.

You know what? What’s done is done. This is who I am. I just hope it doesn’t take me too long to get through it. I am SO OVER me.

On to knitting.

Look! Is it a bird? A plane? A superhero? No. It’s just a Short Row back – T2 style.


Take Two

It’s seems a little bit wonkier than the first version, but I’ve decided that because of the short rows, this will never be a flat knit. Blocking may help, but there are so many ends and so many starts and stops with the yarn. The size looks good – I’ve compared it to my prototype (the pullover in my closet that fits nice) and it’s right on. I’ve woven in half the ends and I feel good about the other half. The front is next, as soon as possible, and I’ll deal with the sleeves last. I have company coming tomorrow for a couple of days, so we’ll see how I do with it.

Socks are stalled. The Sunshine sock is stockinette and I need that like I need another hole in the head. Mindless knitting equates to idle hands. Which means the devils are hard at work. I’ve got (maybe) one more repeat on the long lost never ending Retro Rib sock and then I can turn the heel. Don’t hold your breath.

Since socks aren’t doing the trick, I started something new. After finishing the Flower Basket Shawl and the Acorn Socks, I wanted some more lace. But I couldn’t find a yarn or pattern that I was happy with. I didn’t want to do the Leaf Lace – too similar to FBS. I actually bought two Robert Powell shawl patterns – #103 (pattern) and #106 (kit). The kit came with 4 oz. of Jamieson & Smith 2-ply jumper-weight in Cream which I will probably never knit (look for a contest soon!) but I still like the patterns. Couldn’t decide on a yarn.

And then I saw this. And this. And this. And I bought some of this. And here we go!


Sivia Harding’s Diamond Fantasy Shawl
Twinkletoes Sock Yarn – Foggy Dew

I also bought some Twinkletoes Denim Multi – hard to photograph though.

So far I’m liking the pattern – although I have yet to finish the first repeat section. But it’s easy to understand and I feel like I will have the charts figured out – you know what I mean – when you GET the lace pattern – pretty soon.

The yarn. I don’t know. I definitely like the colors and the weight and the texture. I don’t know if I’d ever use this for socks though – it’s kind of scratchy – but for the shawl I think it will be good. It seems like it will block well. One thing though – when I was winding up the Denim Multi – the yarn broke once at the beginning and once at the end of the wind. May be I was too tough with it? But it also has a few knots here and there, which annoy me. Juries still out on this – but like I said – I can’t imagine I’d use it for socks. Maybe there are lots of shawls in my future. I do have like 1500 yds of the denim. Not sure what I was thinking there. Or NOT thinking. Hahahahahaha.

I started this post on a dark note and I’m going to finish it on a good one. A couple of weeks ago I received an email to my blog address asking if I was the same person who wrote a story entitled “The BBC” which appeared in Fourteen Hills, the literary journal out of San Franciso State University. I replied that indeed I was. Welp, it turns out that FH is putting out an anthology of fiction from the first ten years of the journal and they’ve decided to include my story. I also found out my story will appear along side some of my favorite writers! Lydia Davis! Lynne Tillman! Peter Orner! Pam Houston! Next to little ol’ me! What an ego boost! As you know, my writing has suffered the last couple of years – but this has spurred me on! I actually took out a story yesterday – one I’ve been wanting to revise – and read it and took notes! This could be it the opening I’ve needed….

Open up the windows and sing out loud! It’s a beautiful day today!

Filed Under: Diamond Fantasy Shawl, Life, Short Rows, Stash

To Whom It May Concern….

August 18, 2005 By

Thanks are due for lifting the heat and I thank you, thank you, thank you! But, without seeming greedy, could you please lift the funk as well? I’m getting kind of tired feeling like crap AND crazy simultaneously, and it seems some of my friends are as well.

Pretty please?

I’ll knit ya something.

Love,
Crazy McCraperton

Oh and in case you need some cheering up too, here’s my favorite joke. My nephew and I shared a good ‘ol belly laugh over it!

If you’re American when you go in the bathroom, and you’re American when you leave the bathroom, what are you when you’re IN the bathroom?

That’s right.

EUROPEAN!

Filed Under: Life
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