Today is the first day of the rest of your life, or maybe, yesterday was. The end came a few days sooner than I had hoped, but Friday was the last day we nursed. And yesterday (well, now Saturday – I’m just coming back to this post) was the first day we didn’t. It went okay for Meli, as far as I can tell. She woke up and still wanted me and needed me and loved me, even though she was mad at me the night before. I, on the other hand, cried right along with her. I will miss nursing her so much it hurts. (Literally. We’ve been nursing once a day for a couple of weeks now and still my boobs feel full and slightly engorged. I hope that passes quickly. Still hurting and slightly engorged. Now it’s just getting old!)

I’m immensely proud of our nursing relationship and know that our relationship as mother and daughter will always be evolving and that the next period of our loves will be equally rewarding, fulfilling and joyful.

Rinse and repeat. I will get over this. She already has.

On to happier subjects. I’m truly beginning to LOVE our house. It’s quickly becoming a home with all of the frustrations and headaches and sweet details I try hard to remember when I’m pissed about the headaches. For instance, the other day I took a walk with Meli at the park near our house and when we arrived back to our street the ice cream man was here. Nothing says summer and home like the ice cream man. And then, I was putting back the garbage cans and I saw a cardinal sitting on the point of the garage roof. We see cardinals ALL the time. And don’t get me started on the crickets. I can open up the windows (I hadn’t opened up the windows in the apartment for over a year because of all the construction – and even then I don’t think I heard a chirp. Not one chirp) and hear those crickets go to town. Just opening the windows alone is worth the price of admission.

The house is coming together at a snail’s pace. I’ve had a lot of one step up, three miles back moments, but I’m living with it. I had a handyman come out yesterday to address the book problem (i.e. where the hell to put all of them) and I wasn’t really thrilled with his solution, so again, one step up and a giant leap backwards. Evenutally it will all be put away – or if not – we have a nice big attic and lots of storage. Ugh.

We had a block party the other day on our little street and it was a lot of fun hanging with our neighbors and getting to know everyone. The amount of children on our block is staggering and Meli will never have a shortage of playmates. She’s a bit younger than most of the kids, but so far they all love her and are very sweet with her (an abundance of 5 yr olds, it seems.) Makes me love the house even more.

Fingers crossed but it looks like we may have oldsay the partmentay. Don’t want to tempt the fates. It will be such a relief to have that gone.

And I’ve been knitting. I have one repeat and the toe left to do on the first socks of my second batch of monkeys! So maybe, just maybe, I’ll have a picture on this old blog sometime soon. And maybe it will be of knitting. Rhinebeck’s only a MONTH away! Meli’s head is going to explode this year. SHEEP! SHEEP! SHEEP! BAAAAAAAAAAAA!

L, C


  1. I am so glad you love the house and the neighborhood. Home is much easier in a nice neighborhood with great neighbors.
    I am proud of your for completing the weaning process. That is a hard one and when I kids stopped it broke my heart. There will be less pain all around soon.

  2. Forgot,
    My doc told me to bind my breasts (wearing two sports bras at the same time – a size smaller than normal if possible) if my milk didn’t stop on its own in a week. Thanksfully I did not have to go buy those bras.

  3. I’m proud of both of you. I’ve heard good things about cabbage leaves for the engorgement and pain. Sounds crazy, but it’s supposed to work wonders!

  4. I had to stop nursing my son at 7 months because I needed to start taking some medicine that was not good for babies. I took it much harder than he did (but I was also pretty sick at the time). Now, he is healthy, I am healthy, and over 5 yrs later we (finally) have another on the way. All is good.
    Good luck with the books (and the apt!).

  5. It’s okay. It’s a bittersweet kind of “time passing moment,” so just give her extra kisses and cuddles when YOU feel the twinge of sadness. It really does help.
    And remember, you stopped so that in about a year or so, you will have another baby to nurse. :o)
    And the soreness will go away pretty quickly because you had already stopped so many of the feedings, so you weren’t producing as much as when she was an infant.
    Looking forward to seeing the new batch of Monkeys. Maybe you can get Meli to model with them. We need a new shot of her precious smile now that she’s 18 months old!

  6. Congratulations! Happy weaning Meli! What a growing up girl. 🙂
    I swear that Phoebe would wean herself now if I let her — at 13 months she’s way too busy and independent to nurse for more than 2 minutes. She sort of humors me, nurses for a minute or two, and then pops off and goes about her business. 🙂 But I know from experience that this phase passes and I’m not willing to let the nursing relationship go quite yet. My oldest weaned at 17 months and my second child at 24 months. Phoebe’s my LAST BABY and I’m nursing her as long as I can keep her interested! That’s my story and I’m sticking with it.
    I’m loving your house stories. We’re a family of 5 now still in our cramped apartment and forced to wait at least one more year before we can start looking for a house. Kids on your street is a huge plus.

  7. Deeply entrenched lurker here 😉
    When I stopped nursing my Midwife was the most helpful person in my world. “Drink sage tea, it dries you right up.” 1tbs dried sage steeped in hot water, with honey to sweeten if you prefer, 3 times a day. I was done in 4 days. Also a frozen head of cabbage, just lay those cool, cool leaves on your breasts – ah!

  8. Welcome back!

  9. Are you both going to Rhinebeck??? I went last year (first time), loads of fun, but probably won’t make it this year. Good for you about the nursing! The time’s right when it’s right for one of you. I’ve heard that about cabbage too… Will you have babysitters or mom’s helpers in your neighborhood?? I had a hard time w/ the whole babysitter thing, looking back, I wish I’d managed to do it more and spend more time as a couple. When people I know are pregnant, I dream about nursing… not sure that ever goes away, so special and wonderful, but there’s more special and wonderful to come for you!

  10. I sort of envy your “weaning as we go” thing. My oldest son, now 11, decided one day when he was about 11 months old that he was done. Finito. No more. I literally wondered if anyone’s had ever exploded before. He had really only been nursing when he woke up, right before nap time, and right before bed. Only 3 times a day, but man did my feel it. Only 2 things helped – when it got super really bad, I expressed a little bit, like to take the edge off. I was warned against this, as your react to that (as in, oh look, we’re getting rid of milk, let’s make some more), but mine at that point were so painful I had to do something. The other thing was either warm compresses, with a huge towel underneath to catch the drips, er, sprays, er, well, waterfalls that sprung forth, and hot showers to do the same thing.
    On the house front, I’m so glad things are coming together for you. I love the ice cream truck too, but not when he keeps coming around at 8 pm on a school night while I’m trying to put my kids in bed. Honestly.

  11. hooray for you all. everything came together when it was supposed to come together. it’s amazing how that can happen.
    the first time my oldest heard the ice cream truck, she turned to me and said “mommy, that truck is singing to me.” i think of that every time i hear one. some twenty-five years later.

  12. Sometimes I still miss nursing and my youngest is 8.
    Glad to hear you’re settling into your new place.

  13. I knew it would all work out for you.
    Will you please come by the Sliver Moon booth again and say hello? it would be such an honor to see you and Meli and your husband again. In fact I think we need to make it a tradition. 🙂

  14. Oh geez,your earlier entry made me laugh+cry for you and remember our own struggles with weaning. But it’s SO much harder for you since she can talk! My little one has lost interest in nursing since his teeth came in a month ago. Wishing much support and encouragement to you 🙂

  15. We need a bookshelf solution, too—and we’ve been in this house two years. Our apartment had lots of walls to hold ten bookcases; the house has lots of windows and not many walls suitable for bookshelves.
    The books are in the basement. The house looks empty and stark. Someday…

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