Oh my god! I really thought I had killed my blog.
So I post this super long post in a super long while and… nothing happened. As far as I was concerned I didn’t get a single comment. At first I thought this was weird and then I did some snooping around – no comments in MT in the comment section OR the entry. Nothing in my email. The comments appeared to be working. This precipitated an existential looking back on the last almost five years of this blog and an OH MY GOD I KILLED MY BLOG! It was my own fault. If you don’t post, people don’t read and with all the competition out there (twitter, ravelry, facebook) who can blame them?
In the end I was surprisingly okay with it all.
Then I posted again and still no comments and I was curious but resolved that if I was going to continue with the blog, well, it WAS really only going to be for me! I said it all along and now it was really true and that was OKAY. Pressure was off and maybe I could even get back into writing again the way I used to about things I love and excite me and I could be all funny and pithy and I could build it all back up again. Or not. I did it once I could do it again and besides I’m doing it all for me anyway so what’s the difference if it works or not. I’ve always said you have to write for yourself in the end or it doesn’t really work even though the audience is a super big plus.
I end up being all proud of myself for not being so upset that I’ve lost you all and gone ahead and killed the blog and I’m sitting here patting myself on the back for being so grown up about it (I will be 40 in January and I’ve been thinking a lot about being grown up) and then I get a hit on bloglines from my comment feed and WAIT… there actually ARE comments!
Turns out that there were actually quite a few comments (THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!) and that somehow they had all been trapped by the spam filters and ended up in the junk bin. That’s why they didn’t show up on the blog – at least most of them didn’t – and they didn’t hit my email and they didn’t hit the MT entry and I have no idea why all of this happened but in the end I’m glad. (The truth is my MT needs desperately to be updated but I don’t have it in me to do it anymore. I used to be able to stay up for days figuring it all out but those days are long gone. I’m not sure what I’m going to do here.)
It was an excellent exercise in the long run because I’m still here. For better or worse. With you all or all by lonesome. Seems I’m not quite done yet.
Thank you for reading!! I can’t tell you how much I appreciate your presence.
We are still here. Thank you for reminding me that things I do should be for me; not for the world that might see and judge or disapprove. I have to remind myself of that daily and it is still so easy to forget.
Hope the move is going well.
BTW – Meli is getting so big and she is just beautiful!
Glad you’re still here – I love the Baby Meli pics, and the occasional knitting content is so worth it. Keep hanging around, please!
I read all your blog entries – just don’t comment on them – thrilled with all the adorable videos of Miss Meli – hope your real estate glitches sort themselves out eventually!
Well I’m one of those still reading – and I’m certain there are loads more of us. And (from the grand old age of 42) don’t worry about growing up, I’m hoping it’s overrated.
Oh my, yes! Still reading.
Even if you never see this we’re still here!!
Please continue posting! I love hearing about your adventures in knitting and life! Plus those pictures of Miss Meli, she’s such a doll. I usually just lurk and don’t necessarily comment but you are definitely being read. 🙂
Cara, you can’t get rid of ME that easily!! I’ll always be here!!
I dont comment, in fact dont know if I ever have on your blog, but after reading this post thought I would to tell you that I am very glad you are back! I check often, less often with your break, but am so glad to be back to checking all the time again.
Some of us out here are still reading. 😀 Some of us just stay quiet though….
Yay!
Here for better, as far as I’m concerned. So much to keep up on — Meli, new house and accompanying trials, and whatever else you’re thinking about. Quantity alone does not make a blog appealing. It *is* for you — and I love lurking over your shoulder.
Hurrah! Because I would miss you. I don’t ususally comment because I just not a commenter. But I have enjoyed your blog for a very long time. I like reading of your take on life. Your joy in your daughter is wonderful to experience. I have two daughters (now 11 and 14) and I find outrageous joy in them every day. But it is now a different kind of experience than when they were babies and toddlers (which is really a fun time.)
These years of parenting are not better, not worse, just different. I refuse to have any ‘time’ be my favorite in that it might make you miss the sweetness of now.
Long post – love your writing – continue when you can….I will be waiting
I know that I very RARELY have ANY comments, and I never really had a lot. I have a lot of visitors to my site, but no one comments… I’m not sure why 🙂
Aw, you still have a lot of loyal readers. I know that I check in at least once a week. I probably will until you say that you aren’t going to be updating anymore.
Hey there! Just thought I would pop in and say HI!
I’m glad you’re still here. I always look forward to reading your blog. It’s the best! Who could pass up a cute little girl and some awesome wit? I know I can’t!
Yup, still here, still enjoying your posts and videos and crafts and archives! 🙂
Still reading – you are in my bloglines list so it tells me when to come visit. There are some feeds that haven’t posted in months and months, but if a post were to pop up, I’d be over there. I tend to feel quite loyal to the blogs that I read. It takes more than getting busy with a cute new baby to get me to not read a blog. Whenever you post, I’ll be here (though I don’t often comment).
I just wanted to say that even though I’m a regular reader, I’m usually a lurker rather than a commenter. I’m a woman of few words, which unfortunately means that I rarely comment. But I will continue to read your blog, so know that I’m still out there!
I get fewer viewers and commenters than you do. Than anyone, I think. Not that we’re in a race or anything.
I pop by regularly to see if there is anything you care to share…life can get pretty crazy at times, and I don’t have the patience to blog myself…so I am doubly appreciative of those of you who do…so no complaints from this quarter…I have no right…but I do like to read what’s going on in your neck of the woods…though admittedly, I am more of a lurker than a commenter…j
I’m still here, still reading, and commenting (occasionally)! I was a little sad when I read about your troubles selling your condo – I’m sorry! The bad economy combined with selling the place while it’s being renovated… that’s rough. But I’m very excited about the prospect of you having a second babe! That would be so awesome for your fam! Sending you good wishes and crossing my fingers 🙂
Sorry! I rarely comment, but I check in often. Meli is a sweetie pie!
Delurking to say – Missed ya! Did you move? What’s on your needles? And what’s Meli lookin’ like these days?
Waving my hand – I’m over here!
Happy to wait for more photos.
I ain’t goin’ nowhere.
Yes, we are here. I am so enjoying watching Meli grow and looking forward to my girl, who is 10 months old, catching up!
Long time reader, first time commenter (I think)… have you thought about switching to Word Press? It will be painful to do the switch (I did that about two years ago), but now when it says there is an upgrade available, I just need hit the button to say do it automatically and boom it’s done!
i will never quit you.
I just can’t seem to take you off MyYahoo page. Even if its a post a month I still keep you near the top of the page. Thanks for sticking it out, we like you here.
Wow that sounds pretty awful! You should switch to wordpress, it’s SO MUCH BETTER than WP! My easier to install and maintain . . . so easy that I’m considering offering to migrate your blog over for you . . .