Don’t pay her.

Ba dum dum.

Ever since I’ve been pregnant and all talk turned to hormones I’ve had this goofy joke running through my head. I can’t say the word without telling myself the joke. It’s almost as annoying as the effects of said hormones. Which, incidentally, are KICKING MY ASS this week.

Yes, it’s true, I’ve been working nonstop. I’ve had a couple of nights of not a lot of sleep. These may in fact have added to the ridiculous crying jags, but I prefer to blame the hormones, and the fact that my husband left on a trip yesterday. I swear on the day that embryo attached itself, I have become more and more attached to my husband. Usually it’s no big deal if he goes away – I take off myself to see my sister and the kids or a friend or whatever. But this trip – this trip it was all I could do not to BEG him not to go. I know he sees it as a last trip on his own (which I’ve told him isn’t the case) and he’s been so stressed at work lately a part of me is glad to see him go – but I miss him so much it’s making me cry. All the time. So I blame the hormones. (See, I told myself the joke again.)

There are good things on the horizon though. Like today is the LAST DAY of working like a maniac. If I can get all the things I need to get done DONE today, then I’m just about done for the season. Sure, there are always holiday cards to bang out, but they aren’t nearly as time consuming as processing jobs. All of my deadlines are just about met and things should be good! Clients are happy. I’m tired. Another successful year. (This one doubly successful compared to last year! Grow business grow!)

Tomorrow I head out to my sister’s for some downtime with the kids. I come back the same day as my love and then it’s time to hunker down for THE kid. A new year is just around the corner and I can’t wait!

See that dramatic picture up there? All black & white and arty and stuff? That’s just a portion of the 45 boxes that Ann and Kay packed for me yesterday. I say they packed because really all I did was provide packing supplies and cheese. Lots of cheese.

So we’ve got 45 prizes. I haven’t picked the winners yet, but I will. Soon. Last night I went on a bit of crying jag. It started with a real and/or perceived hurt and then devolved into sheer exhaustion. Every waking moment of my time is now spent working (and reworking) client orders and it’s stressful to say the least. Tomorrow is my last photo shoot of the season. Tomorrow. One of my most dreaded days of the year.

A lot has changed in the last year – supremely so – we’ve gone from the ridiculous to the sublime – or maybe not because this whole pregnancy thing is ridiculous a lot of the time, but still, just because we’re 180 degrees from where we were last year doesn’t mean I’m completely over it.

And to make matters worse, I’ve heard a very sad rumor about a member of my favorite band. The rumor – while completely unfounded – is bringing up lots of bad memories.

I hate Thanksgiving.

I did cast on for my sweater and it’s looking completely lovely even if I’ve only managed to knit about ten rows. I hope to be done with the ribbing very shortly and onto the body. Wouldn’t it be so nice to have a new sweater for my birthday? I doubt it’s going to happen, but I can dream. If I can sleep. Comfortably enough to dream.

Sorry for the bad mood, I just can’t help myself today.
Prizes awarded soon. Thanks for your continued patience.

Have a good week!
L, C

Bruce was GREAT! DC was GREAT! Mrs. and Mr. Crafty Snargle were GREAT! (There are belly bump pictures – stayed tuned – Sarah’s got them!) The hotel was GREAT! The pool at the hotel was empty, but for us, and FANTASTIC! Having G find the Exorcist Steps in Georgetown and me slyly downloading Tubular Bells on my cell phone to scare the crap out of him was PRICELESS!

Visiting the Vietnam Veteran’s Memorial on Veteren’s Day Weekend (or any day really) was too much for this pregnant mama. I lost it. All those names. Everyone of them had a mother. Too, too much for me.

Obviously I’m home and I’m completely overwhelmed. Work is nonstop now and the shooting should end this weekend (cross your fingers the weather holds out for me!) and then it’s processing non stop for the next few weeks. The baby reminds me of her or his presence at every opportunity. I finished my second Oblique swatch, but it has to be measured and washed and measured again. I should have my yarn in a couple of days and I’m hoping to cast on immediately. I WILL KNIT THIS SWEATER.

Not sure when I”ll be back this week – but the prizes for SPIN OUT will definitely be announced sometime next week. I hope. I don’t want to promise because that will just add to my sleeplessness, but I’m doing the best I can.

Thanks.
L, C

Before I say anything else, I want to say that I am feeling SO MUCH BETTER! Puking is no longer an every day occurrence. My energy levels are pretty high. My spirits are SOARING (with every kick they go higher and higher.) Really. I feel good. Not as good, physically at least, as I felt before I got pregnant, but definitely the best I’ve felt SINCE I got pregnant. Which, really, is such a relief I can’t tell you.

Halloween was EXHAUSTING. Three parades, numerous costume changes, a veritable trick or treat mob scene and I’m spent. Yesterday I was not feeling well (and I didn’t even eat that much candy) and I ended up puking before I left my sister’s. It was all I could do to get on the train and climb into my own bed. The kids were as cute as ever loving on my belly and talking about the baby and all the Halloween stuff – I didn’t take one picture and we didn’t get a chance to paint my belly – but it’s all good. I miss and missed them terribly, but I can’t tell you how happy I am to come home to G. I miss him beyond belief when he’s not with me – I’ve said it before, but this pregnancy is so much more fun when he’s around than when he’s not. Last night I gave the baby a stern talking to – NO KICKING UNTIL DADDY COMES HOME! While most of the time I’m still feeling those flip flops, I’m also getting TRUE kicks. And last night I thought I might have felt a body part – a really hard part of my belly – when it wasn’t hard anywhere else. Anyway, so already the baby doesn’t listen. I told it not to kick and all it did was kick until G got home. Then nothing. They say kids will make a liar out of you all the time and mine’s starting young. It’s just so much fun though! I thought I’d be freaked out and I’m just loving it. I love my baby!!!

And I’m loving my knitting! Although barely any progress was made. I knit a couple of rows on the train down to my sister’s and a couple of rows on the train home, but I realized I made a mistake on one of the decreases and I have to rip out a couple of rows. No biggie – and I’m not feeling the pressure at all – just loving the knitting.

In not so good news, we found out today that they are going to start drilling outside our apartment in the next month or so. We’ve known the “exterior project” was in the works for awhile – they’ve started on other parts of the building – but now we’ve been given notice that our apartment line will be soon. Basically, for the very end of my pregnancy and the beginning of my poor baby’s life, there will be men in scaffolding outside our windows with jackhammers. We will have no window access at all (they all have to be sealed against the dust) and they’re removing our balcony so the sliding glass door will have to be locked off. The window seals aren’t that big a deal – we seal our windows every winter. But the noise is unbelievable. I’ve heard how horrible it is near the apartments they’ve been working on since the summer and I’m not sure I’ll be able to take it. Can you imagine? Nine months pregnant and men with jackhammers everywhere outside your windows? Can the noise hurt my baby? Estimated completion is May. Yeah. Right. The whole thing is really making me nuts.

Needless to say, we’re ratcheting up the house hunt. We’ve lived in this building for sixteen years. Long enough, don’t you think. I’m dreaming of a yarn room!

I’ll end with some good news! My brother’s engaged! YAY JEDD AND JEN! The best news – she’s a knitter!
Back to work. Hopefully some knitting will be accomplished this weekend.
L, C

Well, it wasn’t quite the Dressing Room Miracle of May ’07, but it came very very close.

Georgie was feeling bad for me and took me shopping – it really sucks that my sister is so far away because she is THE best shopping companion – but Georgie might just be inching ahead. The only thing bad about G is that he thinks I look beautiful in everything – he’s like your mother or MY mother wearing love blinders. (Or at least the way my mother was when I was young. Now, honestly, she’d probably tell me I looked fat.) Anyway, I FOUND PANTS!!! And not just one pair of pants – but FOUR PAIRS OF PANTS!

The first place we stopped was Kohl’s. The best thing I can say is that we were in a completely different area than where we live – maybe that’s why everything was better? Because I have a Kohl’s around the corner from my house and most everything I see there is crap. It may just be our store though. So I found the teenytiny maternity department – and wouldn’t you know it, they had a great pair of black pants and cords (I’m all about the cords for some reason. I really really wanted cords to wear while pregnant) and when I tried them on – THEY ALL FIT GREAT!!! Even with room in the belly! And while they don’t stay up perfectly, YET, they’re totally fine and comfortable and look like regular pants. For all you pregnant girls out there (and apparently there a lot of you! YAY!) here’s what I got – I bought two pairs of these cords, in both colors and I bought this pair of black pants. Absolutely PERFECT for work! I can’t wait to wear them tomorrow! TOTALLY COMFORTABLE! I was like dancing around the store I was so freaking happy. I tried on a couple of maternity tops at the store too – but they were a no go. There was this super cute hippie type prairie shirt that G really liked – but it had some piping that was supposed to go UNDER the boobs and then became ties that went around your back. Yeah. On me they cut RIGHT THROUGH the boobs. It would’ve been fine if it didn’t have the ties, but alas, no. By the way – has anyone else noticed that ALL the clothes these days look like Maternity wear? The new Vera Wang line at Kohl’s is unbelievably maternity. It’s crazy!

So then we left Kohl’s, or G walked out and I skipped, hopped and jumped like a madwoman, and right next door was a Lane Bryant! Hearing my sister (she gets credit for being the first to say LB) and all you other gals in my head I said SURE! Let’s go in! Ten minutes later I walked out with SIX long sleeve v-neck t-shirts (the absolute STAPLE of my wardrobe) that fit great in the boobs and have PLENTY of room for my growing belly. I bought one in every color except the white. PINK baby! (And more and more I’m realizing my husband has a thing for PURPLE. He’s always going for the purple. Make a mental note.) I also bought some underwear! YAY! (The woman at the store told me LB now has maternity too, but I think it would be too big for me, honestly. One hint though – she said DON’T order online, come into a store and order. She said it’s A LOT cheaper that way.)

DUDES! I WAS FLUSH!

The last stop we made last night was Target. I thought maybe a store pretty far from home might have a better selection? I was skeptical, but I tried. I FOUND JEANS! I bought a pair of Liz Lange maternity jeans that fit pretty darn good and AREN’T super low and the boot cut is tolerable and doesn’t look ridiculous. What was nice about these, too, is that my pre-pregnancy size actually fit. These pants are sized, rather than S, M & L. My final purchase of the day was totally frivolous and I may actually return it, but I couldn’t help myself. It’s a coat – RED – with a fantastic lining. It’s a corduroy material and it fits in the boobs and has plenty of room for belly growth. It’s kind of lightweight too so should take me far into the winter since I’m already hotter than hell. For some reason I can’t find a picture of it on the website – maybe I’ll have to model my new clothes. Or not.

I may hit up some other stores today. Now I want to wear cute maternity tops. With the v-necks, jeans and cords my wardrobe now looks EXACTLY the way it did last Fall when I WASN’T pregnant. Which is good, in a way, because these are the clothes I’m most comfortable in (even if they are pretty boring) but now I want to look CUTE. Cute in a way I can only pull off when I’m knocked up. You know?

The next big hurdle – bras. I desperately need bras and if you think pants shopping sucks, you ain’t seen nothin’ yet.

Thanks so much, everyone, for your great suggestions and fantastic support! YAY! Now if only it would actually get cold….

Thanks for all the comments and emails of support yesterday. Sorry for the mini hissy fit – usually I let the naysayers just roll off my back but I had just come home from clothes shopping and I was hungry and really? I think it was the suggestion that I start a NEW blog because the commenter was unhappy with the direction this one has taken lately. Like, does she think if I talk about all the peeing and puking on another blog the knitting is going to magically reappear on THIS blog? THERE IS NO KNITTING! I hate it. You hate it. But I’m sorry folks, what you see is what you get. God I hope it changes soon. But for now, DON’T READ IF YOU DON’T LIKE IT! And PLEASE – move along quietly. I’m in a fragile emotional state right now. Poor Vicki got my call at work yesterday where I started bawling like a baby. HORMONES ARE NOT PRETTY!

The worst part? (And I hesitate to say this but I’m going to because I’m pregnant goddammit and if you can’t say what you want when you’re pregnant and miserable, when are you going to get the opportunity?) The worst part is that I know who left the comment. IP addresses, it turns out, aren’t always that anonymous. I don’t know this person well at all, but she’s actually been a guest of mine and I feel that I’ve been generous with my time and energy and this is the payback I get? That was the worst part.

Okay, on to other miseries. I took the first fifteen commenter’s advice yesterday and after I dropped Georgie off at the train I headed over to Old Navy. Turns out the one closest to me has Maternity stuff. I’m really just looking for pants – I’m okay with shirts right now. I tried on like ten pairs of different pants in all kinds of styles and they ALL SUCKED! Practically all of them have that stupid low rise that I can’t wear – period! I don’t have that big of a belly yet and still they’re falling off and I have to constantly pull them up and blah blah blah. Then I went to the Destination Maternity outlet right by my house – where I bought the great shorts I’ve worn every day – and I tried on a million pants there. All freaking boot cut, but the big problem is that the mediums are WAY too tight (I look like I’m 7 months pregnant) and the larges fall off me – everywhere, not just the belly. My next try is going to be Ann Taylor Loft which now has maternity and Sears and JC Penney. And the Gap I guess but I’m not really optimistic about that. Oh and thanks for all the Bella Band suggestions – I tried one on a little while ago and I HATED it. I don’t like anything tight across my belly and I can’t see it being comfortable when you have open zippers and buttons digging into your belly. Plus that means I have to wear EXTREMELY long shirts to cover the thing. So no go on the Bella Band – I’m glad it worked for a lot of you, but it’s not for me.

I need ONE nice pair of pants – not SUPER nice (they could be black jeans for all I care) but they can’t be cargo and they can’t be sweats and they can’t be overalls and I’d prefer pockets – so I can work. This is my super busy season – I’m scheduled to work practically EVERY weekend through November and I need to feel comfortable, be able to move around a lot (it’s hard physical work photographing kids – you’re up you’re down you’re all around.) ONE pair. I don’t think that’s a lot to ask. Do you? Trust me, when I’m not working I’m living in sweats. Or shorts. Or my underwear honestly, but for work I need something more. I’ll let you know how it goes. Oh and I don’t sew.

ETA: Thanks for all the dress/skirt suggestions. Not really practical for work when I’m on the ground and running after kids. Plus, I was wearing a great long skirt and then I had some chafing issues. And a rash. Oh, is that too much information? Yeah. I want pants. 😉 And I have to find a different Target. The one closest to me had the worst maternity stuff last time I checked.

And just so I’m not leaving anything out – my craving of the moment is Jujyfruits. Or Dots. Or Skittles. But really Jujyfruits. And I ate some salad yesterday for the first time since I got pregnant. Which I consider a GREAT leap forward.

Thanks, as always, for reading. I appreciate it.
L, C

Guess what I found out yesterday? I learned that the clothes that looked awful on me when I WASN’T pregnant are the same freaking clothes available with some stretchy fabric over the belly now that I AM pregnant.

We went to Destination Maternity yesterday and I’ve never been so depressed about clothes in my life. Forget the fact that the belly panels are still way too big on me, the fucking pants don’t make it up past my thighs. Which really AREN’T that big (my thighs I mean)! It’s all this boot cut crap. I can’t wear boot cut crap. Couldn’t wear it when I WASN’T pregnant and I can’t wear it now that I AM pregnant.

I need clothes. I have to work this weekend and I don’t have ANYTHING to wear. Well, I have the same pair of maternity cargo shorts I’ve been wearing every single freaking day since SPIN OUT (which finally have to be washed because walking on the street yesterday I had to cough and wouldn’t you know it, I “leaked.” Which is just a nice way of saying I PISSED MY PANTS! AGAIN! AND I WASN’T EVEN PUKING!) My shirts all still fit me, for the most part (I’m fond of saying I’ve reached fetish porn start status with the size of my boobs) but I need pants.

I’m ready. I’m really really ready for this pregnancy stuff to become fun. Any time now. I’m ready.

PS – If you want to see the one and only belly shot I’ve had taken, check here. Although please ignore the chin thing going on. I look like Jabba the freaking Hut.