We’re having a WHAT?!?!

Reality has set in. Now that I don’t have to think about work 24 hrs a day I’ve realized that OH MY GOD! We’re having a BABY!!! I don’t need to tell you that panic is not pretty. That’s pretty much what I was doing this weekend. Panicking. A BABY! That is FOREVER! AND EVER! AND EVER!

Scary stuff my friends, as I’m sure many of you know. Scary scary stuff.

I tried to assuage my fears with knitting. Selfish self-indulgent knitting. (BEWARE: Some seriously CRAPTACULAR photos to follow!)

Oblique now has my full attention. I’m loving it! I finished the back and the measurements all seem good (it’s going to be big and comfy!) and I started on the fronts. I am a big fan of doing the fronts and sleeves together. It takes a bit longer, maybe – maybe not, but you can also keep better track and make sure that you do the same thing for both fronts/sleeves. I’m at the point on the sleeves where I can start the shaping decreases and that shouldn’t take too long. I figure the fronts should go pretty quickly because you’ve got raglan decreases along with neck decreases – that’s a lot of decreasing! I’m hoping, maybe, to have the fronts finished by the weekend. Ambitious, to be sure.

I’ve started feeling sick again. Sad, but true. And I’m tired. Things hurt. All of which makes me really nervous because I’ve still got 13 weeks to go.

I hope you had a wonderful holiday or day off or Tuesday. I’m trying to think up a spectacular birthday contest – something really over the top this year. We’ll see how well my brain works!

Thanks for reading!


  1. So Exciting! Those weeks are going to fly – what a spectacular spring ahead!

  2. Oblique looks wonderful.
    You will be OK in the parenting department. It takes common sense and dedication– you have both –and the rewards are wonderful.
    A newborn requires a lot of time – but it’s all feeding, changing, burbing and holding. You can do that. Other parenting challenges come later – but they come one at a time and you will adjust.
    I would worry more about the parent-to-be that thinks everything will be a piece of cake .. those are the ones that are in for a shock.

  3. Definitely get that knitting in now! Time for knitting that I had to pay attention to almost completely evaporated after Z was born (though it is getting better now as we close in on the 6 month point — Z’s Christmas present to us seems to have been extending her night time nap to 10 hrs).
    Even though I was on bedrest, the last trimester of my pregnancy seemed to zoom by. Just wait until you hear the sound of a baby voice in your house. It makes everything worthwhile — even if it doesn’t make all the discomfort more comfortable.
    You’re going to have a baby at the perfect time of year — the whole spring and summer ahead of you to take the small one out and about!

  4. Hugs! I remember that panic. Even though it has been in many ways the most physically and emotionally challenging thing I’ve ever done, parenting (especially of a newborn) is also not nearly as fraught and complicated as all the “1001 things you can do to screw up” books would have you believe. Nurse them, change them, hold them, try to sleep occasionally. Some kids will demand more round-the-clock attention than others, but it is essentially a human relationship. You can do this!

  5. Hang in there! Being very pregnant can be very uncomfortable, indeed.
    Do take advantage — without guilt — of any help offered, particularly cooking and cleaning. People who offer to do those tasks truly understand what it’s like to have a new little baby around.
    Without being creepy, do know that your readers would all line up to give you hugs and hand you food and hold the baby while you nap or relax, if we could. 🙂

  6. Yes, you will hurt. It is SOOOO going to be worth it though.
    Yes, it is forever but that’s the best part. And when that baby comes running with open arms towards you… you will know it was all worth it. You will be the center of his/her world and you theirs. Can’t wait!

  7. A baby!! A whole new world of knitting is opening up! Congrats and Happy Birthday!

  8. I completely understand & sympathize with the scariness of it all! Since the holidays are over, I’ve got to start to realize that my kid is coming soon. And maybe sooner than we expected… I almost had a break down when I couldn’t find the newborn clothes. “Almost” because I was to exhausted for a meltdown.
    Hang in there!
    Oh, the sweater is beautiful.

  9. listen, you – just TAKE IT EASY until you feel the need to re-tile the kitchen floor (which is when I knew I was about to have number one son lo those many years ago) – then after that, all of your correct instincts will take over …
    and CONGRATS on your plug in the VK Winter issue – pretty neat to know someone who made it to the VNVV page ;o)
    HNY and xx,

  10. I know exactly how you feel! I came to that same realization about a month ago, and now I am at the point where I have 4 weeks to go and i can’t believe baby will be here! OMG!!!

  11. Hey Cara….those middle trimester months are nature’s way of giving us a little break. Those last few weeks can be a wee bit uncomfortable, but the prize at the end of the rainbow is SO worth it. Hang in there and feel free to swear whenever you need too 🙂
    Your sweater is looking great!

  12. It will all be wonderful and, even though it’s inconceivable now, all the icky pregnancy stuff does fade and become like something that happened such a long time ago you can hardly remember it. Bean is only 5 1/2 and the sleepless nights aren’t all that far away, yet somehow it’s like something that happened in a book I read rather than something I lived through. And it was fun and is still fun. I’ll tell you a not-so-secret, it just gets better and better.

  13. northsideknitter says:

    I recall having a similar reaction, although I was in the Labor and Delivery Room at the hospital (being monitored by doctor due to high-risk pregnancy). It dawned on me that I was not at all interested in actually delivering my daughter.The stork method was my preferred choice! As I got closer to delivering her I can clearly recall being petrified about not only delivery, but what the HELL was I going to do with a baby??? Almost 11 years later I can remember these feelings and laugh; you too will be fine and will raise a happy, healthy child.

  14. Lori in Michigan says:

    Mind over matter, girl. Keep your eyes on the prize.
    Read Anna’s post? http://needleandhook.co.uk/journal/.
    I smiled at the joy, I cried at the angst. Most sorely of all, I miss those days.
    Don’t blink, Cara. Time will surely fly. My own are now 21 & 19.
    PS: Thanks for the Bruce bit!

  15. so sorry to hear that you’re feeling poorly again – hope it passes SOON.
    meanwhile, Oblique is looking wonderful.

  16. You know, I was where you are 19 years ago. I went into pre-term labor on new years day, 1989. And on February 1, 1989 had the most beautiful baby boy there ever was. Not to scare you, but it’s been the fastest 19 years I could have imagined. He is in college now, a freshman. With a girlfriend. It’s such a wonderful journey, it cannot be described. Bon Voyage.

  17. You’re almost there! Good luck and best wishes for an easy delivery and a happy healthy baby! There is no doubt you will be a great mommy.
    How about another drive for donations for Heifer International in honor of your birthday? I’ll be in for that.

  18. Have you read _Baby Catcher_? http://books.google.com/books?id=LHlQxW68nfYC
    It’s funny and sad, a generally good read–but I bring it up because she has a story in there about a husband who nearly dropped his baby (it’s a funny story, really). He was “catching” the baby as his wife was delivering, and the baby turned its head to look at him and blinked and suddenly he thought “oh my god, it’s a baby, we’re having a baby!” All the stuff, all the preparation, all the sickness and such, it was all like a constant theoretical conversation…and then, boom! A real live human being. Yikes. I can’t imagine. But I thought it was funny (in an emotionally overwhelming way ;)).

  19. I vividly remember coming home with our first born. He was asleep, so we set him, in his car seat, in the middle of the living room floor, and we were both like, “now what?”
    Those first few weeks can be kind of rough, getting used to things, but there is nothing–NOTHING–that beats the feeling of snuggling close to your little one.
    Best wishes and happy birthday!

  20. A baby? Oh man.. I thought you were looking a little bulbous;)
    I think every mom suddenly freaks out at some point, and thinks- oh my word=- we ARE having a baby….SOON…. and then at the same time… thinks— it’s like 13 more weeks— I think I’ll explode or my joints will be ruined forever..(you won’t and they won’t either- but it sure feels like it)
    Are you having a shower? When is it?????
    love ts

  21. Louuise in Maryland says:

    It is scary and demanding and exhausting and magic and the best thing I have done with my life. I wouldn’t trade my 3 for anything, and now the oldest is so much taller than me and even his Dad, and about to start college and I wonder where the years have gone. Some individual days and nights were very long, but the years flew by.
    You will do wonderfully. You will be more in love than you ever could have imagined.

  22. I remember bringing my baby home from the hospital, looking at her and thinking: where is the Off switch on this baby?

  23. Having a baby IS scary. The fact that you’re scared is a GOOD sign. You will be a great Mom. And parenting is just one day at a time. Relax. Oh, and you will feel tired, and sore, and all of that. But it’ll soon be over – well, maybe not the tiredness… 🙂

  24. your photos are never craptacular…
    and we should anxiety knit together. if any light showed up I could photo the three endpaper mitts I have produced since the 19th thanks to my own panic attacks 🙂

  25. Laura(keet) says:

    The photos may not be spectacular, but certainly not craptacular – and besides, we (well, I at least) look forward to finished photos with even more eagerness. Save it up, I say!
    Happy almost birthday. Hope you feel better or at least find a way to cope on that day! Good vibes abound.

  26. you and your husband are very much in love, you make that obvious. It will be scary to imagine loving something else that much more, but it will happen and it will be great. Both times I have been pregnant my husband has worried about where more love could come from but its already inside the both of you.
    However, I admit its kind of pointless to try to describe these things cause you can’t understand it until it happens. Right now these are just words. Just take comfort that you are performing an amazing feat that has occured 8 billion times before you.
    One thing my nurse did that I had never heard of was to have her and I pull on opposite ends of towel. Somehow that directed me to use the muscle I needed to push. Once I figured out the correct muscle combo that does the actual pushing the baby was out in five minutes. Try doing a kegel but coordinate with your butt and push down. Kind of like that.

  27. Sorry to hear you’re not feeling so good, hope it passes! Oblique is gorgeous! It does seem weird and wonderful that, OMG! You’re having a baby! 🙂

  28. I love the progress on your sweater, it looks great! I also always do fronts and sleeves together. I’ve been burned enough times by pieces that don’t match!

  29. Oh I remember those thoughts all too well. Don’t worry, it’ll be wonderful. mom, there’s no turning back now. Hehe Hugs from another mum in Germany!!

  30. your oblique looks fabulous! and my good vibes are always being sent your way – you’re going to be a fabumundo mother!! 🙂

  31. It is scary, isn’t it? Don’t fret too much though, no matter how crazy, collicky, and odd the first part seems, after about a year or so you’ll look back and wonder how your life was ever complete without that little one RUNNING around. It’s still crazy, but it’s fun at our house.
    And we like it enough that we’re having another one! Not too long after you, too.
    I found that long baths, dips in a pool, and massages really helped with the late pregnancy aches and pains. Take care of yourself NOW. You deserve it and you won’t have much time for it for a while.

  32. See all the support you have? I think most any mother will offer to help another mother when asked. (It’s so hard for some of us who otherwise felt competent to admit that a 5-10 pound bundle of baby can flummox us so coompletely, though.) You’ll manage. Practice recognizing all the ways you trust yourself! Get LOTS of rest. Enjoy feeling the butterflies.

  33. WHAT??!! 13 weeks!!!!! now I’m panicking!

  34. Hard to do but try and relax these next few months. You won’t get this time again. And hey, you’re making a baby! It’s hard work! The only thing you need is love. Oh, and diapers. And maybe a onesie or two. And a burp cloth. Heck, get someone else to sort that stuff out while you relax!

  35. The second you hold that baby you won’t be able to remember what life was like before. Trust me.

  36. You’re coming on the home stretch! Good for you. Yes, definitely life changing but so worth everything. I’m getting excited for you!

  37. Don’t worry, the panic comes and goes. I’m just now getting past the OMG attacks and into the HOLY COW moments, and it is FANTASTIC. 🙂

  38. Babies are worth a lot. My little guy is 5 months now and I can’t even imagine a life without him, he is better than knitting, TV, internet, food, sleep, not necessarily in this order. Enjoy being pregnant, and don’t let the internet scare you with all the silly information out there. The very best!!!

  39. Wait ’til you start ‘nesting’… My feeling on that is that the kid can sleep with me, or in a bureau drawer lined with cushy things. Mine’s 12 and I still feel like that some days.

  40. And good for you for that plug in the new Vogue Knitting!!!!

  41. This is probably TMI, but I just weaned my little guy at nearly-4, which means that I put him to bed every night for approximately the past 1460 nights, give or take a few. I am telling you this because I was probably the most committment-phobic mom-to-be that ever walked the earth. I would have never dreamed. .. .
    It will shock and amaze you the depth of love for your child. But as others have said, there is really no way to convey it.

  42. Don’t sweat the small stuff, Cara, and it’s all small stuff…I thought I had to be the perfect mom. Now my boys are 10 and 12 and I don’t know where the time has gone. Oh, and I never thought I’d get thru the morning/afternoon/all day sickness. Now I just feel melancholy…where are my babies? They’re nearly teenagers already!
    P.S. Happy January One! And nice work on the Oblique! (I’m just (finally) starting an Hourglass sweater.)

  43. when i arrived home from the hospital with my new baby daughter, i put her on my bed, looked down at her and the panic set in. and then, out of the mouth of THIS loving parent, i said OUT LOUD, “what the fuck have i done?” nice, huh? well, she’s 5 now, but i’ll never forget that moment–it’s pivotal–and then you just…well, you just get on with it. happy birthday!

  44. Oblique looks wonderful. It looks like a fun knit.
    I think the panic comes and goes for awhile if I remember right. You’ll be fine. The aching comes and goes too – I wonder if it has to do with hormones?? Go with it – you’ll feel better, and soon you’ll have that precious child to love and adore.

  45. I’m late on this…the family holiday festivities just ended for us this morning. Anyway, no real wisdom here except to say that for me, the whole mom thing came way more naturally than I expected! I wasn’t one of those girls who played with a lot of dolls or was ever particularly nurturing, so I was a bit nervous about how I’d do. But, it all just fell into place. Yeah, we’ve had moments where we didn’t know what to do, but that’s life. We had those before we had a kid. 🙂 I’m excited that you’re about to enter this wild adventure of parenthood!

  46. While I don’t have any personal experience with pregnancy or the fears and pain that come with it, I still want to give you a big cyber-hug and tell you that no matter how scary it might be, the majority of it will melt away the minute you see his or her tiny, adorable face once they are born. Right around the time I got married, my mom told me that the women who go into the full-blown “oh my God, I’m having a baby, and that’s for real and for keeps!” panic are the ones who will be the best moms and who are most prepared to be moms. Seems like you’re right on track!
    Happy New Year hun. Hang in there!

  47. OH. MY. WORD. There was a huge box on my porch when I got home from the grocer……
    THANK YOU SO MUCH my spin out prize arrived!!!!!
    OH. My heart. A HUGE Lexi Barnes bag— AND Sundara silk… and Sundara Sock and lovely lotion and soak…. I seriously- cried… and I’m not pregnant!
    It’s dark- can’t take a pic rt now— will post in the morning— what an awesome surprise!!!!

    from another Jan. 1

  49. a BABY!!!!!! What a wonderful blessing! I wish you joy and peace and a happy pregnancy! I had the ‘yaks’ with my first preggers and while it was horrid at the time, it passed—- and that sweet little bundle is very much worth it! But you know that! So drink ginger tea and nap a lot and generally spoil yourself!!!
    Oblique is looking really great!!!
    Happy Birthday a half day early!!!

  50. Hey Chica! Happy (almost) birthday!
    I hope that your present is some pregnancy time ache-free.
    xox, J

  51. Just logged in to wish you a Happy Birthday. 1 hour 56 minutes until you’re there. Hope you are feeling better. Have a wonderful birthday and a blessed 2008.

  52. Happy Birthday Cara!! I hope you have a wonderful day and a wonderful year, and I wish you the best of luck with your baby!

  53. Happy Birthday!!

  54. ElysiumYarns says:

    Happy Birthday!!