I’ve been writing this post in my head for days and I really hoped to have posted it yesterday, but first the plumber came over to fix the boiler then the baby didn’t nap until late, and when I finally thought I had a chance, the gas company came over to check the horrific smell that’s been emanating from our oven every time we use it. Ah the joys of home ownership/motherhood/life. HAHAHAHA! Like I’d want it any other way.

One of the things I’ve been thinking about is, of course, the passing of the decade. Having been born in a 0 year (1970 for those wondering) when the world’s decade changes, so does mine. It’s been particularly interesting for me this year because it seems that everyone keeps talking about how awful the last ten years have been and what a relief it is that the oughts (ought what? aught? whatever!) are over.

I turned 30 in 2000 and I was so super excited about it. For me it meant I wasn’t a kid anymore and I fully embraced my adulthood. My 20s weren’t the best and I couldn’t wait to leave them behind. I was much more settled and self-assured and I was finally an adult that could do all kinds of adult things with (at the time) a limited amount of responsibilities. FUN TIMES!

The past ten years, for me, have been the most fulfilling, most joyous, most content years of my life. So far. In the past ten years I became an aunt (almost) six times over. I became a wife. I became a mother.

I learned to knit.

I had my greatest professional accomplishments in that I had original fiction published four times. I started my own business. We bought a house. (The apartment we bought in the 90s.) The list goes on and on and mostly it’s good.

I also survived some pretty devastating stuff – infertility the highest among them.

But I’d like to think I came out stronger and more self-aware and self-assured than I would have had I not lived through these things.

I guess it’s true that the past ten years haven’t been the best in terms of the United States or the world in general but for me they’ve been very full and fulfilling. I’m a little sorry to let my 30s go.

No fear though – 40 will prove to be just as exciting! Why just next week my husband will finally have the hip surgery, postponed three years ago, that should change his life for the better. Fingers crossed that his debilitating pain ends quickly and that he recovers and rebounds fast and furiously! He better because come Spring, we’ll have another little one to contend with! YES! We’re having a BABY! Our due date is mid-June (the actual due date varies depending upon which doctor you speak to) and so far everything is great. And by great I mean that I feel like crap all the time (just like the first.) I’m just about 16 weeks now and for the first 13.5 I was sicker than with Meli, but I actually think I’m a bit better now than I was with her at the same time. So maybe it won’t be as bad the whole way through. Trust me when I say you’re glad I wasn’t around when I was really sick though because I was REALLY sick and not an ounce of fun.

For the curious few, we did a frozen embryo transfer again and everything worked perfectly, just as it did the first time. We are extremely lucky and know it. We tell ourselves all the time.

So here I am, forty and knocked up. Want to see a picture? (No belly – just me and my girl!)

Anyway – there we are. The picture was taken last Monday and I still can’t believe how long our hair is! Someone needs a comb!

Let’s start the year off right, shall we? Just yesterday I finished a pair of birthday socks for myself:

I have been waiting to use this sock yarn, STR Lightweight in Crazy Lace Agate, for years. Some how I never got around to a jaywalker with it, and then I tried a number of patterns but never really found anything I loved. To stripey for a Monkey. But I never really wanted a plain stockinette sock. Enter the Sunday Swing Sock from Knitty. Completely perfect for stripey sock yarn – it knocks the stripes a little off balance and has just enough change up in the pattern to make it NOT a plain old stockinette sock. I used a reverse chart I found on ravelry for the second sock for a mirrored pattern. Damn fine if I don’t say so myself!

Knitting was scarce for a while when I was feeling so sickly, but I feel it coming back with a vengeance. One of my goals for today is wind up yarn for a baby gift for an upcoming niece or nephew – birthday surprise – so I have some good and easy hospital knitting. And there are countless socks that need mates, so there’s always that. And for a birthday present today, I bought this. Now to find the right yarn….

I’m not sure how much I’ll be writing in the coming months. It’s really so hard these days. Meli is almost two(!!!) and is constantly telling me to put whatever it is I’m doing down and PAY ATTENTION TO HER. Sleep is scarce around here as well and I’m tired. The computer isn’t where I’m at most days. If it wasn’t for my smartphone (I’m a DROID girl) I would never know anything about anything. Unless it happens on Sprout. So pathetic.

If I’m not here please know that I’m thinking about you. This blog has been a major part of my life for just about half the previous decade. Scary to think, but it’s true. I have treasured it – AND YOU – for there is no it without you and am so glad it all came into my life. Whatever happens to this blog – whatever iteration it takes on – it will always be a hallmark of my 30s and I will never forget the friends it brought to my life. Thank you so much for reading.

I wish you all a wonderful new year and a fantastic decade to come.
L, C


  1. Happy New Year to you too and congratulations! I’ve been reading your posts for just a little bit, and it is fantastic to find someone who has had so many of the same experiences. Infertility (now with two boys – one through frozen embryo transfer, one a surprise!), knitting that helped me through the infertility, born in 1970 and a recent city leaver, new suburb dweller. I know how hard it is to keep up the writing / knitting, but I love to read what you post when you have a chance!

  2. Mazel tov!!!! And happy birthday. I hope I get to see you and Meli one of these days. Much love to you!

  3. Happy birthday, Cara! It is so good to hear from you. And to hear that all is, really, going well for you. After reading your blog for lo these many years and never commenting, I need to say thanks for sharing so much with us. You feel like a friend, even though we’ve never met. I’ve been thinking a lot lately about change and how it affects people, and of course, it’s the order of the day for January 1st. I hope things continue to go well for you, G and Meli, and the new little one as we move into the new decade.

  4. Happy birthday and a big congratulations! I like that you’re focussing on the positive, I too am a bit dismayed with the folks wanting to put this whole decade behind them…dude – that’s like 10 years of your LIFE! Focus on the good stuff! (I’m talking to them right now – do you think they heard? πŸ˜‰ )
    Anyway, good luck on your hubbies upcoming surgery, here’s hoping that it’s successful with a short recovery time!

  5. Happy Birthday, many happy returns of the day. All of this happiness suits you. You two look loved and lovely. Happiest of the coming year to you and your household.

  6. Congratulations, Cara!! What wonderful news!!

  7. Happy Birthday Cara!

  8. Congratulations! I’m sorry you feel so crappy but I was thrilled to read your happy baby news. And I can’t believe how much Meli has grown up since the last picture you posted!
    Happy New Year to all of you, and Happy Birthday to you. Hope your husband’s surgery goes well and is all you hope it will be.

  9. Happy Birthday! Congratulations! Sounds like its going to be another wonderful year for you and your family.

  10. What happy news! Congratulations and may all the goodness of the previous decade follow you in to the new one. You’re making a great start of it!
    And a wonderful HAPPY BIRTHDAY to you!
    (PS: I agree! The socks are DAMN FINE!)

  11. Happy Birthday and congratulation! I’m due at the end of April! Pregnancy buddies!

  12. Congratulations on both the birthday and the baby! Very sorry to hear you were so sick though, hopefully it will continue to get better from now on.
    Great picture of yourself and Meli, you both look great.
    Have a wonderful year!

  13. Happy Birthday, and Congratulations, Cara!

  14. Happy birthday, new year and congratulations! That photo of you and Meli is so sweet. πŸ™‚

  15. Happy Birthday! congrats on the new baby and I hope your 40s are just as good to you as your 30s!

  16. Wow, congrats! Can’t wait to see pics of the new little one. Meli is already so big, too!

  17. Happy Birthday! And congratulations on the new baby πŸ™‚

  18. happy birthday! i hope that the new little one brings you as much joy as meli!
    (june 11 is an excellent birthday… πŸ™‚

  19. Happy, happy birthday wishes!

  20. happy birthday Cara!! and congratulations! I’m so happy for you guys. I hope g’s surgery goes perfectly.

  21. Wow, great news! Happy birthday, and best wishes for your year, which promises to be exciting. The hardest year of my life was that first year with 2 kids… but it gets easier all the time after that!

  22. Congratulations and Happy Birthday!

  23. Congratulations are in order! Looks like you and Meli are doing good and best wishes for G with the hip surgery: may he recover in record time!
    Happy Birthday and thank you for allowing me to become a more adventurous knitter through your blog. Yes, even though I have been knitting for more years than you’ve had birthdays, socks weren’t in the picture. I made my first picot hem and first Monkey after reading your blog posts (earlier in this decade!).
    Hoping that this next decade is as good for you as it was for me!
    Happy New Year January One!

  24. Roby Austin says:

    Congratulations and happy birthday and happy new year! The Germans probably have a phrase along the lines of happy birthpregnancynewyearday!

  25. Congratulations! Happy New Year and Happy Birthday! best wishes on a smooth pregnancy!

  26. Happy Birthday and Happy New Year! It sounds like you are in for another fabulous year. Congrats on the baby. I bet he/she will be as adorable as Meli. I can’t believe she’s two already. Oh yeah…beautiful socks too. Glad to see you knitting.

  27. Happy B-Day and Congrats! So nice to see you back on the blog!

  28. picadrienne says:

    Happy Birthday, and congratulations to you all on the pregnancy. I hope this one proves to be a bit easier overall, than with Meli, however, you have to admit, she was worth all the discomfort. It has been so long since you last posted, I have been concerned. Glad to know it is ‘just’ pregnancy and life that caused the long silence.
    Take care!

  29. Yippee – Skippy! I had a feeling you were up to something – and that you were! 2010 is going to be a banner year for you and your growing family!
    Congratulations! So nice to have you back – blog when you can – we will be here!

  30. Happy Birthday! Congratulations!
    Thanks for the pointer to Sabbatical. I, for one, will be here when you can check in.

  31. Happy Birthday! and Congratulations! I’m also due mid June, but since I seem to be incubating twins I’m counting on being a little earlier than that. Also no knitting or computer time around here with a 2.5 year old.

  32. Happy Birthday to you! Congratulations! And best wishes for you and your family in 2010 and beyond.
    Thanks for the link to the Sabbatical cardigan–that’s definitely going on my wish list.

  33. You and your sweet grrl look fabulous! Happy Birthday and Happy New Year. I feel very fortunate to have you in my virtual life and my real life. XOXO

  34. Oh dear – my breath caught in my throat when I read you are expecting again. Trust me when I say that never happens to me.
    Congratulations to you and to yours and welcome to 40. You and Meli look gorgeous.
    – One Who Usually Lurks

  35. Happy Birthday, Cara!! XO

  36. Congratulations!!
    I’m forty and carrying our second child due in June as well. 😎

  37. Congratulations, Cara! And happy birthday!!! You’ve had quite a decade!
    I was sicker (impossibly so) with #2 and while the pregnancy was pretty miserable, delivery was EASY and I’ve been amazed (shocked! stunned!) at how much easier caring for newborn #2 is now that I’ve already scaled the newborn learning curve. You’ll do really well – and Meli will be a great big sister!

  38. Happy Birthday, Cara, and congratulations! For “forty and knocked up”, you look fabulous! FWIW, the 40’s for me were even better than the 30’s.

  39. Happy New Year, and Happy Birthday, Cara! I’m so happy to hear about your second pregnancy – HUGE congratulations!!! I’m so excited for you, G, and Meli πŸ™‚

  40. Happy birthday Cara and congratulations on your joyous news! I wish you the best of luck with everything. =)

  41. I sent you a birthday greeting in your last post but have no idea if you got that so I repeat — Happy Birthday, Cara. And congratulations on your wonderful news. Very exciting. My daughter Brooke (who had a baby in October) was also born in 1970 and felt the same way you did on her 30th birthday. Personally, my 40s were my favorite decade so far.
    You & Meli look wonderful, beautiful and very much like mother & daughter. How lovely. Happy New Year.

  42. happy birthday!!! and congratulations!! i’m so happy to hear that you’re pregnant again. meli is going to make great older sister πŸ™‚
    guess what? i’m pregnant too! looks like i’ll be having my baby a dew weeks after you! so many of us in the blogosphere are pregnant at the same time. i think that there’s something in the water πŸ˜‰

  43. Congratulations!
    I am due June 9th. I have been feeling so much better recently, it’s very good. Still quite tired.
    Take care, happy new year

  44. Happy birthday!
    Congratulations on the little new addition!
    OMG look how big Meli has become!
    I wish you all a wonderful new decade πŸ˜‰

  45. Happy New Year, Happy Birthday, and Congratulations, too! Wow, ain’t life grand? Best wishes to you and your (growing) family.

  46. Happy Birthday to you and happy, healthy new year to you and your family. It sounds like the upcoming year is going to be a busy one. Good wishes for a speedy recovery from the surgery.

  47. First off…HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! and a huge CONGRATULATIONS to your family. I always enjoy reading your blog when you have time in your busy life to write. Hope to see pics of Meli w/the baby bump. Toddlers are always so fun. Hope your holidays were great!
    Happy New Year! ~Amy

  48. Congratulations! How exciting for your family. And Happy Birthday to you!

  49. Happy Birthday! Here’s to a new decade!!!!

  50. Happy birthday and congratulations! Infertility sucks, but it is so wonderful to be on the other side. πŸ™‚

  51. Mazel Tov!! What wonderful news for you. Wishing your husband an easy and speedy recovery. My best to you and your family.

  52. Happy birthday to you Cara! I’m sure your 40s will be even better than your 30s. Enjoy each and every day.

  53. Happy Belated Birthday!

  54. Happy New Year, Happy Birthday and Congratulations!!!!!

  55. Happy New Year, Happy Birthday and Congratulations!!!!!

  56. WOW!!! : )
    Happy New Year, Happy Birthday, and congratulations on the upcoming little one!
    This post was quite a whopper, but in a very, very good way. So glad to hear that things are going well for you. Best wishes for an absolutely fabulous year.
    BTW, isn’t everyone saying that 40 is the new 30? : )

  57. Happy happy Birthday!! And congratulations! I am so sorry to hear that you were feeling sick, again. No fun.
    All the best to your husband! My MIL just had hip replacement and after the initial post-surgery stuff and therapy, she is doing much better.
    Write whenever you can, I always enjoy it; but don’t stress out over it.

  58. Happy birthday, happy new year, and congratulations on the new little one!! The photo of you and your daughter is just gorgeous – what beautiful ladies!

  59. Congratulations on the New Year, the birthday, and the impending addition! I met you briefly a year or two ago at Rhinebeck. Glad that the future decade looks as if it will bless you as the last has.

  60. What wonderful news. I remember last time you were pregnant at the same time as my sister, and guess what, you are again! Here’s to a happy, healthy new year!

  61. oh wow, congratulations AND happy birthday AND happy new year! you and meli both look gorgeous and i love the long locks. my daughter is just a bit older than meli (born sept 2007) and she runs from me the second she sees me coming with a brush. she’s usually a tangled mess.
    many wonderful wishes to you in 2010 and thanks for the sock pattern, somehow i missed that one!

  62. Happy Birthday Cara! Congrats on everything! You & Meli look great and I love the birthday socks.

  63. Congratulations, Cara!!! How exciting that you have another little one on the way!
    And best wishes to G for a smooth surgery and a successful and speedy recovery.

  64. happy birthday!
    i am SO excited for you!

  65. I am very happy to hear your good news–thanks for sharing! Happy birthday, and happy new year!

  66. Congratulations on your pregnancy! Here’s to the fantastic 40’s!

  67. Wow! Good to hear from you. I check from time to time, and was wondering. Such a lovely reflective post, and it’s good to know that life is good. Congrats on the baby!

  68. Happy Birthday, Cara, and especially, CONGRATULATIONS on your wonderful news!!! I wish your hubby the same good fortune with his hip surgery as I had with my hip replacement 3 years ago…when he stands up post op and realizes that the pain is GONE, he will be amazed! Blessings to ALL of you…

  69. Congratulations! Just want to say it is always a pleasure reading your blog. I’m 40 with a 5 mo old and a 2 yr old so can relate to the feeling of not knowing what will fit into your life. If Meli lets you relax on the couch once or twice during your third trimester you can count yourself very lucky!

  70. Happy Birthday and CONGRATULATIONS! I am so happy for you and your family on the upcoming addition. I hope your husband recovers well from his hip surgery. Take care of yourself, rest, and enjoy the upcoming new era of your life!

  71. Kathy Knapp says:

    Happy Birthday and Congratulations. Somehow, I knew when you hadn’t been posting that you were expecting. I was hoping you weren’t feeling so miserable and I am sorry hear that is not the case.
    Enjoy 2010 it will be another year of big changes for you. You and Meli look fabulous.

  72. Congratulations and Happy Birthday! May 2010 be more than it’s cracked up to be!

  73. happy birthday, cara! i am just going to be entering my 30s this year and if it’s a 1/4 as successful as yours I will be thrilled beyond belief.
    oh and those socks are beautiful too πŸ˜‰ love to you meli and G!! xoxox

  74. Happy belated birthday! May your forties kick some serious ass.

  75. congrats and happy birthday!!!! love reading your blog and seeing your latest projects!

  76. Congrats! I’m SO happy for you and your beautiful family!! :o)

  77. Happy Birthday!! Happy New Year!! And a HUGE congratulations!! What wonderful news…beautiful socks…and thanks for the blog, I love reading it. πŸ™‚

  78. Happy birthday, and huge congrats on the baby-to-be! You look beautiful in your photo, and Meli is just adorable.

  79. Happy Birthday and BIG congratulations on your impending June arrival! What a wonderful way to celebrate turning 40. All the best for 2010 – laughter, love and loads of knitting.

  80. Happy Birthday and Congratulations on your pregnancy! Wonderful to see your socks – have a great 2010!

  81. Congratulations!!!!
    So happy that all is well!! Know that you and yours are in my thoughts and prayers!

  82. YAYAY! What a great way to start a new decade. Meli must be so excited πŸ™‚

  83. Happy Birthday and Congratulations!! I am overwhelmed with joy for you. 2010 is going to be a great year for you and your family. πŸ™‚

  84. Congratulations on baby #2! You seem to be such a great mom and this will only double the fun!
    Love the socks!

  85. I am so excited about your upcoming second child. Congrats. Wish you all the best. xo

  86. Happy Birthday!!! and Congratulations! That is wonderful news. Thanks for sharing with us.

  87. Hooray!!!!!!!!!!! This is just the best news!!!! Wishing you wonderful days in the coming months–we’ll all be here whenever you feel like dropping by. Lots of love for the new year!

  88. No need to offer apologies or explanations about the lack of posts. You’re living your life fully, and what a beautiful life it is! That’s exactly what you’re supposed to be doing, and trust me on this – all of us long-time readers couldn’t be happier for you!

  89. I’m due June 13th as well! With Baby #2 even! πŸ™‚ CONGRATS!

  90. ι¨ŽδΉ—δ½γ¨γ‹γ‚„γ£γ¦γŸγ‚‰γ€γŠ っ ぱ γ„γŒγƒ“γƒƒγ‚Ώγƒ³γƒ“γƒƒγ‚Ώγƒ³ι‘”γ«ε½“γŸγ‚‹γ—οΌοΌοΌ

  91. strickbar says:

    Congratulations and a truly Happy New Year!

  92. Congratulations. It sounds like 2010 is shaping up wonderfully for you. Way to ring in the new year with a new baby.

  93. congratulations to you and G on what I’m certain will be another little munchkin just as beautiful as the first. thanks so much for all you’ve shared over the years! =]