I’ve been thinking about blogging again for a while now and this post isn’t going to be what I’ve dreamed about, but it will be significant for me. Firstly, because I’m blogging. Period. It’s been a long while but I couldn’t let this day go by without blogging and secondly and most importantly because I have something to say. It might not be very important what I’d like to say but I feel the need to say it and that’s pretty significant in my life these days. To feel something pushing me – something that doesn’t have snot running out of its nose, or poop in its diaper or a hungry belly or a stubborn streak as long as the earth is wide – is really really nice and I’m not going to let the opportunity slip.
About a month ago I was feeling like I had lost all my talents, and on twitter I lamented that fact then questioned whether or not I actually had talents when they could be lost so easily. Yes, I was feeling sorry for myself. I had barely done any photography work for the holiday season, but the work I did do came with problems and frustrations. I wasn’t knitting at all and I was missing it desperately. Basically I was being a mommy day and night and complaining about the fact that I didn’t have any other kind of life.
I was also feeling a little jealous. Vicki posted about her magnificent Parcheesi blanket and topped the gorgeous knitting off with a fantastic photoshoot and even though I love her desperately, I was hating on her a little too. I used to knit gorgeous blankets and photograph them in fantastic ways. I called Vicki to let her know just how much I loved her work and how she was inspiring me to get gorgeous and fantastic back into my own life. She reminded me of my little girls and her big girls and yes, yes, I know I don’t have time to breathe let alone knit big huge blankets, but still I want that in my life. I need that in my life.
Then I sent my pity party tweet out into the universe and something quite inspiring came back. Sara aka ChickenBetty read my tweet and suggested back to me that losing my talents wasn’t something to mourn, per say, but an opportunity. To quote her, “But doesn’t that turn it into a treasure hunt to find them again?”
I didn’t tell her this and I’m sorry for that and right now I’m telling her – Sara – you kicked my ass with that one! I couldn’t stop thinking about the idea of finding my lost talents. At first it bugged me a little bit – I wasn’t looking for someone to tell me to work at my talents – they’re either there or they’re not – but maybe Sara was right. They didn’t go anywhere they just need prodding. I took her advice to heart and started searching.
It wasn’t that day but soon after I went into the basement and found the box marked Miter Project and took that sucker out and pulled it up into the light of day. Since that admonition to get off my ass and GRAB BACK MY TALENTS I have successfully woven in 484 ends on 120 miters. (That’s four per square – with two squares having two extra ends each.) I have also started the arduous journey of blocking the miters and I have one ready to seam as we speak. AND, in all this frenzy, I’ve been looking at all the leftover yarn (figured I’d use it to seam) and a new blanket idea has jumped out at me and won’t let my brain go. If it is what I hope it is, it might take me another three years. But that’s okay.
In this past month, I also knit a small sweater ornament out of leftover sock yarn, a gorgeous cowl (also inspired by Vicki) and a headband to match the cowl. I’m sort of consciously choosing projects that are small – or at least you can feel like you’re accomplishing much in a short period of time. For instance, a small sweater ornament takes no time. A cowl using bulky wool can feel like a mighty accomplishment when you don’t have much time to knit and miters, well, it turns out miters are addictive no matter what you do with them – even weaving in ends.
More inspiration in my life: I found a fantastic babysitter. Not only is she great with my kids, but I taught her how to knit! She’s a natural and even went and signed up for a ravelry account all on her own, thank you very much. She’s been inspiring my with her enthusiasm and having her here a few hours a day a couple days a week frees me up to spend some time on my own. FREEDOM = TIME = CREATIVITY.
It’s all been really really good. Finding these talents is like finding myself all over again. It’s also an exercise in patience because obviously sometimes I can spend a lot of time and sometimes I get no time but I have it in my head and I don’t have to let it go or push it aside. I can nurture it a little bit each day so it can grow and grow and grow. Just like knitting.
I want to end on a note about blogging. I’m planning on being her much more often – hopefully on a regular-ish schedule of a couple of times a week. I’ve been spending a lot of time here lately looking over my Miter Madness archives and not only do I miss writing, but it feels disingenuous of me to continue the miter project WITHOUT blogging about it. I blogged that whole damn thing – every single square – and I’m not about to stop now. So I hope you’ll look out for me and my projects if you have the time. And I hope I can inspire someone just a little bit like Vicki and Sara have inspired me. Thank you so much!
Happy New Year! Happy JANUARY ONE!